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I'm really trying to feel better about myself

Music_Freak
Community Member

I don't know where to start with this, there's so much in my head right now...

I've got nothing, but my cat...no job, no friends, far from a family priority etc. etc.

My mum died 10 years ago on 26.2 and I still miss her so badly, she was the only person I had who was in my corner. Everyone else (family, friends that currently aren't talking to me) say I play the victim and am all "woe is me"

My sister's said I look like a silverback gorilla and other such things. She's a bully who gets away with it all, because she's the favourite and "normal" (kids, married, no mental illness - although I have doubts about that last one). My dad's called me fat and said that "You're bent like your mother" (she was bipolar). He lives with me and getting him to do anything is such a battle, he doesn't feel like paying the rent, so it's left to me, goes to work when he feels like it, helps my sister with her house but won't with me etc. etc. etc....I could go on and on with them!!

I have a GP and a psychologist that I should go back to (sessions are free and they're within walking distance), but I wonder if it's worth it when my psychologist said me running an instagram account for a celebrity is me living in fantasy land

I won't write any more, because I can't see anyone replying. I've got nothing and nobody and just want to forget...

1,720 Replies 1,720

Yeah, I found one a while ago, but don't quite have enough money for it yet...maybe in a month or so

Share my writing you mean Emmy...oh, I don't know about that. I'm not sure anyone would be interested and I wouldn't know where to post it

james1
Community Champion
Community Champion
I snuck in a short story in the poetry corner 😉

Sorry for suggesting it.

That's alright Emmy, no need to be sorry 🙂

I could share some, but it might be riddled with triggers as well.

You never know I might come up with something that's OK soon

Hey Narelle, I just caught up on your thread and whats been happening with your carport.

I'm sorry it didnt work out for you, but it sounds as though space was an issue there.

Have you given any thought to something else that may be okay as an alternative - perhaps a pergola would be nice? I am not sure of the specific reason why you wanted a carport, so if I am on the wrong track here, just say. You may not need council permission to put up a pergola. Not sure about that though, you'd need to check. But they do look good and you can grow lots of lovely climbers over them for shade and privacy, and many could also serve as a car shade cover once plants have grown over the top.

Narelle, I would be interested in your writings. Perhaps open a new thread?

Sherie xx

Emmy don't be sorry it would be great to see Narelle's writing. xx

Narelle when your up to sharing I'd love to red your thoughts. Oh and good work on saving so far, counting down to a lounge suite! xx

Had a bad night last night...I was glad when I fell asleep really...

My dad says he'll put the carport up, so I don't know what to do. Most of me doesn't believe he'll help (how sad is that?!)

Ugh, my head is a mess!!!

That's good that he's offering though hun. Still get that approval though yeah. Would hate for it to go up and then council asks for it be taken down. Also would your landlord consider contributing some money towards it? They've given you approval? Try to smile at the thought that your Dad is offering - that's a really nice gesture from him. Hold onto that. Xx

Hi Narelle,

Your Dad offering to help sounds great. Could it be his way of reaching out to you?

Emmy's advice was really good.

No approval or anything yet. I think I'd have to get something designed to fit since it would be too close to the boundary with a DIY kit...only I'm too scared to contact the guy after cancelling it all 😞 I'll give it a few weeks or something. I can fib that I had to budget etc.

I wouldn't get help financially with it because I'm in government housing.

I'm doing all this to dull the memories of my mum dying in this place, since moving isn't really an option. Like, if I change the look of the environment my brain might be tricked a little

I'm just feeling so muddled 😞