I'm really trying to feel better about myself

[Music_Freak]

I don't know where to start with this, there's so much in my head right now...

I've got nothing, but my cat...no job, no friends, far from a family priority etc. etc.

My mum died 10 years ago on 26.2 and I still miss her so badly, she was the only person I had who was in my corner. Everyone else (family, friends that currently aren't talking to me) say I play the victim and am all "woe is me"

My sister's said I look like a silverback gorilla and other such things. She's a bully who gets away with it all, because she's the favourite and "normal" (kids, married, no mental illness - although I have doubts about that last one). My dad's called me fat and said that "You're bent like your mother" (she was bipolar). He lives with me and getting him to do anything is such a battle, he doesn't feel like paying the rent, so it's left to me, goes to work when he feels like it, helps my sister with her house but won't with me etc. etc. etc....I could go on and on with them!!

I have a GP and a psychologist that I should go back to (sessions are free and they're within walking distance), but I wonder if it's worth it when my psychologist said me running an instagram account for a celebrity is me living in fantasy land

I won't write any more, because I can't see anyone replying. I've got nothing and nobody and just want to forget...

[Lost_Girl]

Great goals Narelle and well done for doing a bit of MYOB despite the pain.

I am quite thankful that my ADs make me care a bit less about the mess. As much as he tries hubby's cleaning is not like my cleaning.

Hope the pain eases for you xx

[Music_Freak]

Buddy has fleas...I feel like a terrible cat mummy 😞

I've bought some frontline on sale online - I want the little blood suckers GONE!!!

My poor kitty 😞 He's curled up on my bed looking so peaceful...

[james1]

Aww poor kitty. Kill those fleas! Feel no remorse, haha.

[Music_Freak]

Thanks for the reply James, it made me smile.

I've combed Buddy 3 times with the flea comb and only found 3 little suckers, so hopefully the frontline gets to me before it gets too bad. I will continue combing until then

[Guest_5218]

Hi Narelle. I have not logged on for over 3 days, so thought I'd check in on everyone now.

Sorry you had a bad day the other day with your pain worse again. How are you going with making those appointments with both your GP for a review and your psychologist? Like Wednesday, I dont want to nag, but it is important to take care of yourself properly. Once the basics are under control, you may well find that other issues settle neatly back into place where they should be.

Has Buddy's frontline flea control arrived yet? I see you last posted here 3 days ago, so it could be all fixed by now. Poor boy, I guess we are just coming into flea season again, so we need to be on the alert for the little blood suckers!

Okay, I will try to catch up with you again soon.

Sherie xx

[Music_Freak]

Well, after almost 9 months I've FINALLY put all my Halestorm autographed stuff in frames and up on one wall in my room. Now all I have to do is put the photos in a couple of frames (when I print them) and put my drumstick in one and paint 3 of the frames...maybe I'm not so finished after all...

I feel pathetic for taking so long to do it, but it was a productive day, in one way

[lookingforme]

I would say it has definitely been a productive day. I am still putting up shelves in my room in Aus though I have moved out of Aus over a year ago now. Definitely not pathetic at all

[Music_Freak]

It's so good to hear from you Sherie, I was worried about you

No appointments yet. I've actually been feeling alright the last couple of days, but for a short lapse this afternoon. I figure I just have to keep occupied on other things so I don't dwell and mope.

It's a shame I'm nearly finished with MYOB really, but I'm going to work in my typing speed and try and get writing again next, so hopefully that'll be enough

Still waiting for the frontline, but luckily Buddy has only scratched a few times all weekend. I'm still going to get the little suckers off my poor furbaby though...ugh, hate them!

[Wednesday]

Hi Narelle,

Good to hear that your feeling a bit brighter. Little more warmth in the air and sunshine makes the world look a bit better for me at least. Hey and nearly finished MYOB you star!

Not that I'm nagging, oops maybe I am... but a trip to the doc and psych is probably still a good idea. Just let them know what a torrid time you have had, just for a cheap / check in...

I hope Buddy's isn't scratching too much.

Hugs, xx

[Music_Freak]

I just contacted a website about getting quotes to erect a carport, since I can't rely on my dad. I wish I could kick teeth in or scream and have my family care, but it's time to just move on with things and forget their attitude towards me and my mum (neither of us rated very highly) I've been thinking about this, since not long after my mum died, so 5+ years! When it's completed, I may sit in my car under it and bawl my eyes out...

I just wrote the above in Carol's thread and it made me think that maybe I have made progress since coming here, even without psychologist visits (I do have a lot to draw from though). I don't think I've totally moved on from my family's treatment, but doing the above has helped me realise that I don't necessarily need their help and I keep thinking just how rewarding it might be to do the improvements on my government house WITHOUT their help. As I like to say, I've given them the finger!

I do still miss my mum immensely, reading back the first paragraph even made me cry 😞