I'm really trying to feel better about myself

[Music_Freak]

I don't know where to start with this, there's so much in my head right now...

I've got nothing, but my cat...no job, no friends, far from a family priority etc. etc.

My mum died 10 years ago on 26.2 and I still miss her so badly, she was the only person I had who was in my corner. Everyone else (family, friends that currently aren't talking to me) say I play the victim and am all "woe is me"

My sister's said I look like a silverback gorilla and other such things. She's a bully who gets away with it all, because she's the favourite and "normal" (kids, married, no mental illness - although I have doubts about that last one). My dad's called me fat and said that "You're bent like your mother" (she was bipolar). He lives with me and getting him to do anything is such a battle, he doesn't feel like paying the rent, so it's left to me, goes to work when he feels like it, helps my sister with her house but won't with me etc. etc. etc....I could go on and on with them!!

I have a GP and a psychologist that I should go back to (sessions are free and they're within walking distance), but I wonder if it's worth it when my psychologist said me running an instagram account for a celebrity is me living in fantasy land

I won't write any more, because I can't see anyone replying. I've got nothing and nobody and just want to forget...

[Emmy.]

Well done Narelle. That's a huge step. Be proud xx

[Guest_5218]

Thats good Narelle. Well done.

Sorry to hear that you may be coming down with something though. Hopefully it wont last.

Regarding MYOB, like with anything newly learned, it is best if you can use it from time to time just to maintain familiarity with it. But it's a really practical and straight forward accounting package, so it is easy to pick up again. Ideally you end up finding a part time job which required MYOB. Oh if only it were a perfect world! (-:

I am very proud of you though Narelle for getting that application in. You didnt have to, and it was obviously difficult for you to do. So you really have achieved something there, so give yourself due credit.

Are you still waiting to hear from the voluntary work place? Do you use MYOB there?

Love to you.

Sherie xx

[Music_Freak]

Thanks Emmy, I am kind of proud of myself, but I think I'll fall over if I get called about it.

I opened up one of my stories today and read it, now I'm thinking about what to write next. I haven't even opened them, let alone attempted to write since last year. I guess that's a step in the right direction as well.

[Music_Freak]

Thanks for you post Sherie, it's very much appreciated 🙂

They don't use MYOB, sadly, they use Command which I've never used until I started with them. I am still waiting to hear, I will email in the morning in case I've been forgotten, it may show I'm willing too

I've thought about doing my budget with MYOB, I wouldn't be using all the features, but might be better than nothing

A perfect world would be nice, wouldn't it?!

[Wednesday]

Narelle you star!

Well done on applying for the job and you were feeling not great at the same time, that is gold. Congratulations you made great step today.

Woo hoo!

Hugs, xx

[Music_Freak]

Thanks Wednesday 🙂

I'm almost expecting to be called about it since I don't feel great

I don't feel too bad now, hopefully a little walk tomorrow will help, shake the cobwebs from my bones

[Lost_Girl]

Hey Narelle,

Well done you!!

All the little steps help. If you do a little walk each day, try and have a shower and a little something to eat, it will all help you feel a bit better.

Applying for the job is a great step regardless of the outcome. Thinking about writing again is great. All of these things are terrific. I am really happy for your progress.

I know you mention now and then that Buddy is all you have. Well that has changed too. You have all these lovely people here who believe in you and are here to support you.

Carol xx

[Music_Freak]

I already know today isn't going to be a good day, after maybe an hour's sleep...

I'm going to head out for the chemist walk in about 40 mins and hopefully come home and sleep some

I feel like this is a major setback

[Wednesday]

Hi Narelle,

Pity about the sleep, I bet you feel pretty tired today. It's not major set back just a bad nights sleep. It happens to all of us at one time or another. What was happening for you, were you thinking about things? I hope Buddy was close by for a cuddle.

Don't be to hard on yourself, yesterday was a success and you made some great steps.

A walk to the chemist is a really good idea get the good chemicals in your body working. I hope you have some food in, vegetables and meat maybe?

Take good care of you, hugs, xx

[Music_Freak]

I started thinking about the job and what would happen if I got it. Plus, Buddy was a bit too awake for most of the night, I did get cuddles though

I only bought muesli and a banana...I guess that's better than nothing