I'm really trying to feel better about myself

[Music_Freak]

I don't know where to start with this, there's so much in my head right now...

I've got nothing, but my cat...no job, no friends, far from a family priority etc. etc.

My mum died 10 years ago on 26.2 and I still miss her so badly, she was the only person I had who was in my corner. Everyone else (family, friends that currently aren't talking to me) say I play the victim and am all "woe is me"

My sister's said I look like a silverback gorilla and other such things. She's a bully who gets away with it all, because she's the favourite and "normal" (kids, married, no mental illness - although I have doubts about that last one). My dad's called me fat and said that "You're bent like your mother" (she was bipolar). He lives with me and getting him to do anything is such a battle, he doesn't feel like paying the rent, so it's left to me, goes to work when he feels like it, helps my sister with her house but won't with me etc. etc. etc....I could go on and on with them!!

I have a GP and a psychologist that I should go back to (sessions are free and they're within walking distance), but I wonder if it's worth it when my psychologist said me running an instagram account for a celebrity is me living in fantasy land

I won't write any more, because I can't see anyone replying. I've got nothing and nobody and just want to forget...

[Music_Freak]

Shower plan dismissed, Buddy is now purring next to me...here's hoping that's all I need tonight...

[Lost_Girl]

I'm glad Buddy is keeping you company. I hope you get a restful night too. I don't play many games on my phone because I find the screen too small. I do play clash of clans though. I enjoy that.

[Doolhof]

Hi Ladies,

This morning I was awake at 3.00 and was tossing and turning for a while until I tried to convince myself that was a waste of time and energy. I was going to get up, but the house was too cold so I stayed where I was and tried to think pleasant thoughts.

Eventually I went back to sleep. I managed to get myself off to Church and had a chat with a few people after so that was nice.

I cooked us bacon and eggs for lunch and started a new jigsaw puzzle. Earlier my mind was thinking negative stuff too much so I did a Sudoku puzzle. I really find I can't concentrate on the puzzle and think negative thoughts at the same time!

Hope the salt water gargling helps the throat Narelle. Have you tried honey and lemon drinks as well? They generally help me. Hopefully the sore throat goes quickly.

Hope you find some peace soon Narelle, from Mrs. Dools

[Music_Freak]

Feeling very down in the dumps today...I can't even help myself lately, I couldn't even manage my 2 hours of MYOB, only made just over an hour. I wanted to cry sitting in front of my laptop, so figured I'd better just forget it for today.

Now I'm in bed wanting to cry still and watching Buddy ever so slowly fall asleep at my feet.

Anyway, time for some sudoku distraction...hopefully it helps

[Guest_1055]

Hi there dear Narelle

I am sorry you are feeling down in the dumps. I cry a lot too, it helps release emotion, that is a good thing. But for me , it is exhausting.

Are you any good at sudoku puzzles then? I guess doing one of those is good for the brain. I hope it works for you, I have done some in the past, and have found it helps your brain to stay focused.

But if it doesn't, maybe you could just get up and go for a walk outside in the fresh air. I have done this lots of times, and it has helped to clear my head. Plus it has other benefits as well.

And did I read somewhere that you like cooking or baking? What do you like to cook. I like to cook too. Maybe you could bake some cat biscuits for Buddy?? I assume they have recipes online for that. My mum bakes dog biscuits for there dog. The dog really enjoys them as rewards I think. Ah you could bake some in the shape of cute little fish....

Anyway I hope you feel better soon. I am sending out a hug if you would like one.

Love

Shell xxx

[Music_Freak]

Crying is exhausting, isn't it, but it's also a good release.

I'm more of a baker than cook. I'm finding even eating a chore lately. I never thought of baking for Buddy, not that he needs more treats 🙂

I only do the easier sudoku puzzles really, I downloaded it onto my phone because I'm stuck in all my other games, which is frustrating.

I've been out a couple of times with Buddy, but it's never enough to him 🙂

[Guest_1055]

Yes the easy sudoku puzzles are the ones that I have done before. Did you complete a puzzle or two?

I don't want to do you what to do Narelle :-)but baking little biscuits in the shape of a fish sounds like such fun. The more I think about it the more fun it sounds. They would probably keep for a while anyway. You could even pierce a tiny hole in the raw cut out fish shape. Bake them, then cool, then thread some strong string through the hole. Then pull them along and see if dear Buddy bounces on them or something.....

Shell xx

[Guest_1055]

Oops.. lots of errors in my post. First sentence should be "tell" instead of" do". "bouncing" should be "pouncing".

Are you getting anxious about going to the Smith Family on Thursday then Narelle? This is the place where you do the admin work isn't it?

Shell xx

[Doolhof]

It has just started to rain here in my part of S.A. and the temperature is plummeting outside. I have put a blanket over the cat while she is curled up in a ball on the bed. Usually she dislikes that, but she too must be feeling the cold.

The idea of the cat treats with a hole in them and a string sounds like something our cat might enjoy. She is so lazy usually!

Sometimes I find the Sudoku puzzles difficult. I often write in the answers for the top line then try and complete the puzzle. My sister thinks this is cheating. I told her that as long as I keep working on the puzzle and activate my brain, it isn't cheating at all.

I'm getting used to this staying at home, resting and recuperating business. Think I am going to struggle when I have to return to work next week!

No point making myself depressed about that thought until the time comes!

Sorry to read you are feeling so low Narelle. Wishing you brighter moments!

[Music_Freak]

Definitely anxious already...I'm going to have a fight on my hands to get there on Thursday...but i have to do it, I'll never get back there if I don't.

I can see Buddy liking chasing treats, I should give it a try.