HSC anxiety

[Guest_9546]

Hello

I do not know if anyone can relate to me or not but I have "educational anxiety" for maybe the past year and 8 months?

So I wasnt allowed to do my desired subject in year 11 (in year 10 I chose extension 1 maths but wasnt allowed)

At the beginning of yr 11 I was told I wasn't allowed to do extension 1 maths. I started to stress because I wasn't told about it earlier and I wanted to do it desperately

I complained to the head of maths (on many occassions) and he then decided to make me sit a test weeks later

Weeks later I did the test and I stuffed it up. I wasn't allowed to do extension 1 maths. I was stressing and tried complaining multiple times to the head of maths. He decided no. He then referred me to the school counciller. He told me this "rubbish" that I only need advanced maths (2U) for uni since it is a calculus course but I felt I needed extension 1 maths

The counciller told me to let it go (and so did he). I tried to let it go but it didn't work. It was then raised to my school principal (through a complaint to the department of education) and he told me to just focus on all my other subjects because extension 1 maths will make things worse (but I thought of it the other way around)

Ever since that incident, I was stressing everyday. I had anxiety (and still do). I have found it very difficult to learn. Did horribly in tests
At the end of last yr, I told the HT maths that I dont care about learning anymore (since he didn't let me in extension maths earleir in the year).

Ever since then I learned to develop a deep obsession of hatred to him (because I think he's ignorant)Even now (which was a year a and half from that incident of not being allowed to study my desired subject) I have suffered anxiety a lot, I have been so stressed out that it has affected my learning, I have developed a deep hatred to the head of maths, etc. I have even cried a lot at home at times because I was too stressed out. Even back then I found a bit of difficulty sleeping

Assuming I have either narcissism, bipolar disorder or some sort of sever anxiety ] I want to apply for EAS (educational access scheme) for my HSC because my learning was affected from this event a lot

I wanted to do extension 1 (and 2) maths at high school because I wanted to pursue an actuarial degree at university (or a maths degree of some sort) as nothing else interested me but not being allowed to do my desired subjects made me stress

I would appreciate any advice from anyone here

[Hope_for_the_best]

It is good that you get to see your psychologist so soon. You will find out about the forms shortly, so just be patient and wait. It is really difficult to tell how many sessions you will need simply by reading your posts. You will need to discuss that with your psychologist. I suggest that you let her know that you are struggling with HSC and some family issues, so your psychologist can accommodate accordingly.

[Guest_9546]

I am not sure how this is going to work out but perhaps I will be talking about how I am affected by not being in extension 1 maths, what I have thought about for my future as well as how I am reliving past trauma as I feel I am consistently being taken back into time. Is it a good idea to link her this conversation and show her only the first page (this conversation is way too long and I don't even think my careers advisor nor principal would have bothered reading every single post prior to the conversation they had with me because simply they could be doing better things than reading forum posts of a student mentally struggling)?

I assume I would probably need 2 (for HSC/school/education/whatever) and maybe another 2 for non school? Again I don't know this is just a blind assumption. I feel both are linked together so it may take at least 5? (just blindly assuming because I need to know what's appropiate)

Or should I just summarise the posts and tell her via email (so we save time prior to the appointment)?

[Hope_for_the_best]

If I were you, I would summarise the posts and email the psychologist. I suggest that you post in a recent thread on "First appointment with a psychologist" for any questions regarding psychologist visits (https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/treatments-health-professionals-and-therapies/first-appointment-with-a-psychologist-#qnbmZXHzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A).

My experiences can be of help but it is best that you hear from as many people as possible.

[startingnew]

HI T

good luck at your psychologist appointment

i would go through this entire thread and pick out the most important points you want to cover and take it with you to the first session. not alot of psychologist read youur notes unless sent from the gp as thats what the first session is all about

[Guest_9546]

Hi StartingNew

Thank you for the support

I will try to summarise as effectively as I can (a lot of teachers at my school usually stress the importance of this as they say it's useful for uni and such but I still not know how to summarise effectively. I guess I will need to learn sometime sooner)

I need to know whether this is appropriate to say to the psychologist:

I wanted to sit extension maths in high school (because I wanted something maths related at a tertiary level) however I wasn't allowed because the HT maths at my school said I "wasn't capable". He referred me to the school counciller and even though she was aware of the situation she couldn't do anything besides telling me to "let it go". I tried and couldn't. Ever since that day I was very hesitant on seeking mental help outside of high schools (and I had this fear that I'd get the same response from the school counciller-noting that my school counciller claimed she was a "qualified psychologist"). I wanted to study maths at a tertiary level however didn't have the necessary foundations (hence my insecurity of failing uni maths kicked in). Ever since that day I have been feeling awful, I feel that I have been affected by an earthquake and I am crushed under rubble and no matter how hard I try to get up I can't. Ever since that day last year, I have felt stressed everyday, felt depressed (I can still walk properly and such but I am feeling sad/down most of the time and my mood can change easily), etc. I have also felt stressed as I tried to look back in time (Even looking at youtube videos I look at the date and realise it was X months and Y years since/before the "tragic events occurred" and that's when I feel stressed and full of anguish). Just recently I felt suicidal. I haven't tried suiciding because there's no painless way to die (that I know of). I am at the point of just wanting to let it all out and yell because I am undergoing so much agony everyday ever since I wasn't allowed to do extension maths. This has affected my learning a lot. I know have a fear of reliving high school trauma

By the look of it does it look like this is enough to say to a psychologist? By the looks of it, I think it's enough (again I will need to reread my posts and repost when I think it's neccessary)

Also if I need a medicare number for the doctors would I need the number or card for the psychologist?

[startingnew]

hi T

that summary sounds great, write that out and remeber to take it with you.

um theres a possibility that youll need the medicare card yes or at least the number however if your gp has sent all your information it shouldnt be a problem. maybe email them again and ask them what you need to bring to your first session. they will usually give you a good answer

[Guest_9546]

Hi StartingNew

If the psychologist tries to talk me through my issues of stress/anxiety/depression of not being in extension 1 maths would it be advisable to apply that process to my other issues I have (including suicidal thoughts) even though each issue is different?

[startingnew]

its your psychology sessions so you can use them each way you want to but if not being in extension 1 maths is causing you to have suicidal thoughts then its something to definently bring up.

i think having thoses thoughts at all should be brought up no matter what the situation is

[Guest_9546]

It's more that the "not being in extension 1 maths" was a catalyst (actually I am not entirely sure of what the catalyst is in this case) for bad reoccurring memories and past trauma which led to fear of reliving that trauma into suicidal thoughts (and the fact that "no one cared" was probably another reason). Is it normal that when you had a bad experience in the past (such as bullying or something) you don't feel mentally affected at first (or maybe for a week or a month) and then a couple of years later you feel extremely mentally affected because of another "bad event" because honestly I don't think this is normal

I got an email from my psychologist this morning (about visiting her tommorrow) and she emailed me 4 different forms to fill. On one of the forms it says "pension and health card holders" do I qualify for that? (I had a doctor's referral so I suppose not?)

[startingnew]

hi T

i would be talking about both your suicidal thoughts and what is bothering you including your math and school issues.

penison/health care cards im pretty sure are for when your on centrelink. or have private health insurance. im not too sure about that....

take up tomorrows appointment though and fill in as much as you can of the forms. try to get there early and if theres places not filled in ask them (reception) to help you.