HSC anxiety

[Guest_9546]

Hello

I do not know if anyone can relate to me or not but I have "educational anxiety" for maybe the past year and 8 months?

So I wasnt allowed to do my desired subject in year 11 (in year 10 I chose extension 1 maths but wasnt allowed)

At the beginning of yr 11 I was told I wasn't allowed to do extension 1 maths. I started to stress because I wasn't told about it earlier and I wanted to do it desperately

I complained to the head of maths (on many occassions) and he then decided to make me sit a test weeks later

Weeks later I did the test and I stuffed it up. I wasn't allowed to do extension 1 maths. I was stressing and tried complaining multiple times to the head of maths. He decided no. He then referred me to the school counciller. He told me this "rubbish" that I only need advanced maths (2U) for uni since it is a calculus course but I felt I needed extension 1 maths

The counciller told me to let it go (and so did he). I tried to let it go but it didn't work. It was then raised to my school principal (through a complaint to the department of education) and he told me to just focus on all my other subjects because extension 1 maths will make things worse (but I thought of it the other way around)

Ever since that incident, I was stressing everyday. I had anxiety (and still do). I have found it very difficult to learn. Did horribly in tests
At the end of last yr, I told the HT maths that I dont care about learning anymore (since he didn't let me in extension maths earleir in the year).

Ever since then I learned to develop a deep obsession of hatred to him (because I think he's ignorant)Even now (which was a year a and half from that incident of not being allowed to study my desired subject) I have suffered anxiety a lot, I have been so stressed out that it has affected my learning, I have developed a deep hatred to the head of maths, etc. I have even cried a lot at home at times because I was too stressed out. Even back then I found a bit of difficulty sleeping

Assuming I have either narcissism, bipolar disorder or some sort of sever anxiety ] I want to apply for EAS (educational access scheme) for my HSC because my learning was affected from this event a lot

I wanted to do extension 1 (and 2) maths at high school because I wanted to pursue an actuarial degree at university (or a maths degree of some sort) as nothing else interested me but not being allowed to do my desired subjects made me stress

I would appreciate any advice from anyone here

[Guest_9546]

Hey StartingNew

I think emailing them is better. Yeah I initially came here to discuss my issues and how to solve them (which has escalated into going to a psychologist). Yes I know no one here is a trained medical professional but rather people who have gone through bad experiences and are willing to help others for free (while giving up their valuable time)

Funnily enough the doctor didn't refer me to any medications/antidepressants, is this normal? I know people get referred to prescribed medicine if their medical condition isn't in a good state.

I think the only thing the doctor did was refer me to a psychologist to go through cognitive behavioural therapy (I'm guessing that's what I will go through)

I remember in the past when I thought my life was worthless, I always questioned why I was a human on this earth with billions of other people. I tried asking myself what is the least painful way to end my life but at the same time I was thinking I can't end my life now because if I do then people will mourn the loss of me-all for a very silly decision and then I believed it wasn't worth it because 1)there is no painless way of ending your life (that I know) and 2)people will become severely (mentally) affected from this loss. Is it actually normal to question the existence of life? I mean prior to 2016 I don't think I've ever had this attitude but this me not being in extension maths has changed my life a lot. it has affected my emotions, my attitude and how I usually cope with daily life. I mean if I had the chance to do it, I think I would very focused on getting a high ATAR instead of thinking negatively everyday and questioning my existence

[startingnew]

No probs email them when your ready 🙂


thats ok, everyone has their best intentions at heart here and if that meant you thought it was worth seeing a psychologist then thats ok too.


Sometimes if its situational anxiety/depression medications wont work. I find most gps try not to just automatically jump to medications as an answer. Sometimes all you need to is to get that extra help and support to sort out your thoughts and feelings regarding your life and things begin to settle down.


Psychologists have many different forms of therapy. Some do ACT, EMDR, DBT, CBT, and so much more but it doesnt matter the type of therpay as long as your finding it helpful is what matters.


I can tell you that ending your life isnt pretty. Im not really open about this except for my thread but I have made attempts at ending my life. Ive since become better after getting more help and support.
There is always hope that things will get better even when you cant see it. Of course there will be bad days and things you stress over but that is also a normal part of life. Everyone has their bad days. Everyone has their own stressors however not to the extent of people who are often diagnosed.


There is help out there, never be afraid to use it when you need to.


I can already tell by the way you write you have the determination to get better and and I can see that an important part of your recovery will be accepting that you cant change the past. You have to work towards the furture and find other options that suit you.

[Guest_9546]

I've already emailed the psychology service that my GP referred me to. They haven't replied yet so I assume the receptionists are currently busy at the moment

Right so it had to do with what started the issue and how to resolve it from there? Well he (the GP) did question as to why I was stressed and why I was desperate for extension 1 maths (he also asked me whether or not I am pressured by my parents and I said no-so I think he assumed that it was me trying to pressure myself into doing certain things)

It's good that psychologists do so many different things

Yeah I remember getting told some HSC students ending their lives-I think it has to do with the extreme stress/pressure of exams and such (in my case, I think mine would be way worse than what others go through). At the end I just thought it wasn't worth ending my life if I haven't experienced what I really want to experience and other stuff. I agree that there are bad days for everyone but to me everyday is a bad day with some being worse than others

At first I was hesitant (because of a bad experience with a school counciller) but thanks to hope.for.the.best I have actually thought of going to the psychologist

Yes I plan to get better. At the moment I am currently at school (because I need to collect my graduation stuff as well as do some important EAS stuff with the careers advisor) as I am typing this post. The future I am currently working towards is a future where all the horrible memories of high school (and other non high school related stuff) gets replaced with good new memories with new friends and countless opportunities in my future studies. Although I may relive the "trauma" of high school at times (either through walking past a high school, bumping into old school peers or seeing high school students on the street/uni campus/whatever) I just hope it doesn't become as bad as it currently is. Yes I have started to get gradually better (because I don't want to end up in TAFE. I am desperate to get to UNSW) however I still feel stressed/depressed/negative etc but I wish I new this before the HSC began so then I wouldn't have to endure such agony that I have been going through within the last year and a half (approximately). Even though I cannot beat my cousin in the HSC nor get a High ATAR I will have to accept the fact that I will get a 'low' ATAR and transfer into what I want to do. I had planned to sit MX1+MX2 on my own after HSC but am worried of reliving past high school trauma

[startingnew]

Thats great so youve already got the ball rolling. Good on you, a lot of practices dont respond as quick via email.
Your gp isnt trained to work out psychological problems which is why he had you refferred you to a psychologist. Really to get the ball rolling even more you need to get an appointment.


A lot of HSC students are very stressed and feel pressurised. I had a lot of pressure behind me too with me always having to be the a grade student even though I was mostly Bs.


How did you go with your careers advisor today?

[Guest_9546]

Ok so I received an email from the psychology clinic at around lunchtime today and am told apparently that they are a private practice so I would have to pay about $200 and then claim back part of the fee through medicare. Could someone please explain to me how you can bulkbill? What am I supposed to say to this psychological clinic? My GP referred me to them but now they're claiming their not for free because they are a private practice? She (the person who replied to my email) will tell me more later. I will await for a response on Monday

Yes a lot of HSC students are very stressed/pressured for many reasons including getting into their desired uni course (without doing an internal transfer), wanting to do well, etc but I think the main reasons as to why students want to have a good ATAR for their HSC is because for competitive courses at uni (such as medicine and law) it will be quite hard to do an internal transfer (due to the competitive nature) and doing well in the HSC makes things a lot easier (in particular with medicine where a number of students leave Sydney to study medicine far away from home). Another reason why people want to do well in the HSC is because they can land a scholarship. No one wants to be paying heaps of money every year just to go to uni but with a scholarship you will have virtually no money to pay (or perhaps not as much as everyone else). I remember hearing that around a few hundred students applied for co-op scholarships however only like 5 people actually landed on the scholarship (but scholarships are more than ATARs people will be required to demonstrate things like leadership, teamwork, etc but people can still land on them without extracurriculars)

With regards to the careers advisor thing, this morning I kinda had an argument with my mum regarding EAS and now it turns out that the EAS form isn't due within the next week, it is due first week back of school. When I found that out I was much more relieved and didn't have to consistently worry about it. The thing that is actually due within the nest week is the UAC preferences. So for now I can be relaxed about the EAS thing (yay) and worry about UAC preferences (it's kinda stupid how I need to pay). I also asked him about low ATAR unis and he told me ACU and WSU. Today when people saw me at school they were like "you didn't attend graduation where were you?" and I was like "doctors". I felt that I made the right decision by going to doctors over high school grad

[Hope_for_the_best]

Schooling system does differ between countries but problems that high school students face, like study stress, peer pressure, family issues etc., are pretty much universal. I am glad that my experiences are of help to you. I too had an unpleasant experience with my school counsellor at high school. She is a social worker whom I trust very well. I presumed that she knew me very well but I was absolutely wrong. In my country of origin, students need to sit for a public exam before getting admitted to the last two years of high school. I was in a competitive school and not every student could stay. My mark was actually lying at the cutoff of admission. The social worker did nothing to comfort me but told my parents (in my presence) that I might be kicked out. She should have pulled my parents aside to break the potential bad news given that I was very upset at my mark. I am angry at her for not being considerate, so I can totally relate to your "mishap" for your school counsellor.

As startingnew says, it may take time before your psychologist gets back to you. Be patient and wait. I have a bit reservation towards your school's comment on a "right" advice though I understand where it is coming from. Obviously, whatever we advise cannot replace professional consultation and needs to be used at discretion. Even if we are professionals, we cannot do much to help you online either. The reason why I don't 100% agree with your school is there is no such thing as a "right" advice. Even professionals do not always offer the right advice, and that's why it is important to communicate with them so they can offer the "best suitable" advice. Please note: This is my opinion only. Don't go and argue with your school!

[Guest_9546]

@Hope.for.the.best I am aware of that. In particular in asian countries there are 40 students or more in classes (as opposed to NSW where it's 24) and there is a high level of discipline in those countries as opposed to Australia. Nevertheless I find the Australia secondary education system quite "lax". Also I am not sure about overseas but in Australia you have to pick your own subjects (english is made compulsory in NSW, not sure about other states) and hence this topic I created was about not being allowed to do what subject you want in year 11 and 12 and how I am affected by this. I feel that the Australian education system is more about mental development and personal growth as opposed to how hard you work which I why I suppose Australia is lacking behind in education? (I'm not trying to be critical, I'm just making a blind assumption because that's what I think is true) I know in Australia academic performance isn't everything wheras in other countries they are (mostly)

I have already gotten a response from the psychologist (which took a couple of hours. I'm sure the staff were busy at the time). I will talk a bit about this later

Now I know I've said this but I know I am not going to get a high ATAR because I severely damaged my internals. I know my ATAR won't be as high as I expect but I need to know how I should react to this, when long time ago I was desperate for a 99+ ATAR and now I know with this stressing and depression my results dropped significantly as did my motivation and ATAR aims. I remember someone working so hard for her HSC, studied 40 hours a week out of school (I think), had good sleep, exercised regularly, ate healthy, etc but when she received her ATAR she was inconsolable and was crying for hours, angry at her dad and how she couldn't face the reality. I'm worried I will be like that 😞

I think that from this situation, I've learnt that HSC isn't everything. There's more to life as to how you performed in year 12, earning money through tutoring and having big egos. I know that once people get to uni no one gives a toss about HSC results but if there is someone who has that attitude, they will be looked down upon by others because HSC was the past and HSC/ATAR doesn't mean anything in the real world. It's the connections you make with industry as well as any wok experience (I apologise if I come off as arrogant). I think that if I told my cousin my ATAR he'd show off to irritate me even though he did his HSC 2 years ago

[Guest_9546]

With regards to the psychology sessions should I tell the private clinic to contact the GP I saw and ask them to confirm with my GP whether or not my psychology sessions should be free? I'm worried because it will be a lot of money to pay. Any advice?

I know it's not advisable to diagnose myself but I think I have depression to some extent (but I think I actually have PTSD and OCD). If I did have it I know it wouldn't be as bad as others (I heard others have it to the point where they find it difficult to move around (or even get out of bed) but luckily mine isn't to that extent because even though I can get depressed really easily and feel sad everyday.

I feel in my mind that I have gone through an earthquake (i.e. a tragic event) and I am affected because I am crushed under rubble (the consequence of the event). I feel no matter how hard I try to "get up" from the "rubble of negative feelings" I am always falling down and failing to do what I want to do as I am constantly feeling those negative feelings everyday no matter how hard I try to get out of it.

I remember the HT maths at my school saying that when he was in high school (he went to the same high school I am/was at and he's been a teacher for around 25 years so in total he's been at my school for 30 years?) he was good at maths, did extension 1 maths, didn't do his homework, did badly in tests, got kicked out of extension maths, accepted the truth and decided to get a "good mark" in 2U maths. He told me to do the same but I decided to not take on his advice (the people at the advisory centre at open day told me the same but I couldn't take on the advice no matter what). Do I regret it? I don't think I do

I also saw some photo montage that someone from my school made for graduation. When looking at this I am feeling extremely nostalgic as I feel mentally I am taken back in time and everyday I'm living with regret. Feeling quite sad and stressed out looking at past memories (most of the photos were prior to when the "tragic event" happened). I just want to yell out in pain because I just can't take it anymore. Even looking at youtube videos I look at the date and realise it was X months and Y years since/before the "tragic events occurred" and that's when I feel stressed and full of anguish. I just can't handle the fact that I am left alone feeling this mental agony for so long enough that I just can't tolerate it any longer. At times I wish I were dead so I'd never have to think about this

[Hope_for_the_best]

Clinics can charge their own costs but the amount of medicare rebate is fixed, so you may need to pay the gap between the two for a session. What you can do is to inform the clinic your circumstances (student, no income) and see if they are happy to offer you bulk bill. If they still need to charge you, then I suggest that you find a psychologist that offers bulk bill. Beyond Blue has a database of professionals which can help with your search. After you find a bulk bill psychologist, go to your GP and get a new referral.

[Guest_9546]

Alright so with regards to the psychologist appointment (which I will be having this upcoming Thursday) and luckily she told me that she would like to support me and have availability this week and that with my referral from my doctor/GP, I can initially have 6 sessions that are bulk billed through Medicare therefore there will be no cost to me. Well at least that made me a bit "happy" knowing I don't need to pay

And luckily enough she is quite familiar with the HSC system as well as the university selection system as he has gone through it herself and has worked with HSC students in the past. I will be sent some forms as well. What could some of these "forms" be? I mean (@hope.for.the.best) you told me that they could be a questionnaire with over 100 questions as that's what happened overseas

I just hope that by Thursday I will finally be free of the pain (well to some extent) but usually for this sort of issue how many psychology sessions are necessary (excluding my life issues)?