Do you think the way l'm living is ok for now?

[Guest_1584]

Hi BB.

l feel like this is another dumb question from rx , but ah well.ln times of uncertainties we might ask some of those right.

We sep' and divorced 5yrs ago , threw life into a spin. Together 19yrs before. l've stayed in the area to be close to my d, 16now, and finally got another house of my own 15mths ago.

l was with someone new nearly 2yrs but it hasn't worked out unfortunately but being long distance 70% of the time, there was lots of days and nights spent at home in our little private bubble world of messaging and skyping .

So now that we've split, l still haven't built any sort of a new life really. Got this hosue because loved the spot and the house itslef and great views and it's only 20mins form my d's town. lhoped l'd like it here , maybe even make a new life. But ldon't really fit in this town and so it's beena lot more time at home, l work at home too.

Nit sure if l'll stay here , but l do love the house and spot and views and in spare time can easily just hang out around the house days on end , basically alone, bt l dunno, it's just and old renovator but just really comfy to hang out in, live.

If l'm working l always try to get out most days, pick up spares or spin over to one of the other towns for a change of scenery , or some lunch, whatever.Or locally up to the shops even , groceries whatever , anything just to get out for awhile.

lately l've sort of developed a bit of a pattern in spare time. love hanging out around the house a day , 2 or 3, but then l make myslef go see some, a drink with my brother, or another mate l know, or up to the main town , see my daughter some days, or beach , go for a hike, or something. No pubbing or night life.

Same with wkends, l try to get out somewhere one day, hang out at home the other.

But that's pretty well life has been since split with gf. Mostly alone , andl enjoy lately just hanging out around this house , maybe way way too much , not sure. music or some reno's or movies , internet. It's just big and roomy and airy , views , and comfy. l often get claustrophobic but never in this house,

Do you think what l'm doing atm is ok , l really worry l'm alone too much or taht l'll slip into hermitizing too much, l dunno.

Any thoughts welcome.

rx.

[Ggrand]

Hey rx,

If I could I would sell up here tomorrow, but unfortunately I cannot, because house prices out here are ridiculously low compared to even the next biggest town..I'm stuck here and that is making me feel even more trapped, sad and just really yucky...

Rx it's a decision that won't be very easy for you to make..but I only really want to say something for you to think on....If your not completely happy living where you are then I think that you should really think about what will make that happiness possible for you....a new area? Bigger town? new people to meet, maybe make a list of pros and cons and see what you come up with...

Wishing you all the best wishes I can for you rx, your a great guy. and it's nice to have met you...

Grandy..

[Guest_1584]

Ahh thank you grandy . so nice of you to come in you've got so much on yourself to deal with.

l'm really sorry about your location price wise and all but don't worry since l've started browsing again the area l was thinking about has something like doubled in price in only 18mths and the properties a few where as there were dozens , God l don't believe it.

Like you l can't afford nor want to double my mortgage , l actually wanna halve it and l couldn't 18mths ago , so pissed. l've had this uncanny knack of finding whatever l want my whole life though so right now l'm really praying that doesn't decide to change and so , never know, l see what l can do.

l'm so sorry about your situation , but you do love the peace and the mountains and wildlife though and mornings and other stuff so at least that's a really big things for you to always enjoy. . l've been befriending a young wild magpie lately haha and he's come a long way , such a classic bird. Today l called him from 100 mtrs away he was across the road over in a paddock but guess what , he came. Little rascal.

That's a really good idea grandy the whole happiness thing , and pretty easy to answer too bc l sure haven't had much of that. here. Maybe that says tt all huh.

l hope your ok and thanks again for that , pretty special yaself . Hang in there eh.

rx

[Guest_1584]

Hi to one and all.

Bit of an update come vent come whatever.

House wise , damn l like this house, been probably more at home in this house even mostly alone than just about any ever , and there's been a few. Anyway , thinking of sticking round another 12mths , though still up in the air, and maybe fishing the reno while l'm at it for some very needed profit / lt's still up in air , mulling it all over as there's some other parts of it with ng that come into things as well sooo, we see.

Funny , think l started this thread worried about so many weekends home alone, yet comfortable. Well l've probably had about 7 or 8 in a row just now. weathers been bad and l've been mostly just too comfy to bother. Still , also spend most of it talking with new girl to so it's not quite alone and l suppose and also gotten out somewhere at least usually once most wkends at least too so yaknow.

women , yeahhh , that could be a whole nother thread.

Well , ng and l met finally and it was pretty damn surreal. So she's coming down to stay a few weeks soon , or we joke maybe for ever haha . Nah , we get along so well it's intense and pretty effg mind blowing tbh, the way it happened and all. We talk prettywell 24 7. but we haven't spent much time in person as she's back in sydney right now, sure wasn't expecting this though. So , we see how we go when she comes down we guess, trying to keep feet on ground because of all that .

But , probably like inother posts, it's still confusing to because of ex gf. so many feelings rumbling around, and guilt, l dunno. l only just started chit chatting to ng l wasn't expecting anything just company. and of course it's too soon that's the thing buttttt, l can't walk away now l'd be a mad man the way it turned out . unless l sit around and pine another year or 2 but l'd lose ng. she understands and been really good with it.

but l know ex gf hasn't forgotten me or me her , and we still held hope , l know that . even though there is none there's nothing we can do the obstacles are too big and impossible.even though the splitting wa sher idea , it was also thoguh about self preservation and a setting of me free too , to her. no one could knock her off her perch though and l wasn't expecting anyone too, it's sort of not like that. ng is sort of separate , a different thing , or something , l dunno how to explain it.

but l'm trying to find the balance. Maybe when she comes down to stay it all goes to shyt anyway and l'm back to square one, who knows.

[Guest_1584]

PS/

lf anyone's got any thoughts or suggestions on how to deal with the situation, please feel free to chuck in your 2 cents worth , all ears.

Hope everyones doin ok.

rx

[Guest_1584]

Strangest thing with this house and spot.

when l say l haven't had much happen or happiness here, it's not that bad things have happened or l've been unhappy althoygh some def' loneliness , l quite like it and the town to and the area. Main towns a gorgeous place and the Great Ocean roads just over there too. It's just that nothing's happened here , that's all Although l get along wuite well with a few people in the whole area in passing , never really made any friends either.

anyway ng reckons , ifffff'' , this is iffff, well l'm trying to be really conservative here but , we should , yeaj we haha , that's what l mean it's been pretty intense pretty fast, should keep it and stay till my daughter another year old and finish the house too.

And l mean just supposing, she happened to stay , that'd be a great idea , for my daughter , much needed money , and us too.

so all that's been another new side to the old house coin developing all it's own along the way lately.

rx

[Guest_1584]

Mind you, that still leaves ex and the new fella only 25mins away , and a divorce l'd much rather forget butttt, we see.

Bloody property prices so dear now l'm thinking lately l'd be crazy not top reno this one before l do anything else, need the money to move on.

l want an easy life , has anyone got one , what's the secret ???

[Ggrand]

Hello Randomx,

Big hugs...🤗🤗..

I have been listening and want to help you with a decision but I feel the decision is yours to make..but I would like to say, that to renovate your home and then sell it at a higher price in the mean time you could be looking around area and houses etc in the area you think you would like to live in...you could vennhave a week end here and their to see if the town/city is what your looking for....

I also want an easy life, Randomx if you ever find the secret to having one please x 1000 times let me know what it is...

Love and hugs,,

Grandy...

[blondguy]

Hey RX

I dont blame you for trying to hang on to your home as its important to you....not to mention that you have worked hard for it as well

You have someone that is great company that you can bounce off and thats a huge bonus RX 🙂 Like you mentioned there are positives happening

With your ex and her new fella living 25 minutes away .........Its not even a consideration as your life is whats important. Sounds like you have found a great with friend meeting ng. Sounds great to me RX

One day at a time and always great to have you on the forums RX 🙂

my kind thoughts

Paul

[CMF]

Hey rx

wow, heaps happening in your neck of the woods. I agree with Grandy, only you can make that decision but if you can do a Reno without spending too much would be in your favour.

As far as ng, just see how it goes without jumping into anything too quickly. Don't want to be a wet rag but staying permanently is a big move so early in the relationship. Having said that, I'm reLly happy you've found someone you connect with.

cmf x

[Guest_1584]

Thanks so much for rep[lies and thoughts people , really appreciated. l know l sound all over the place right now buttttt, that's probably because l am haha. Bring on the easy life hey grandy.

And thanks grandy for your wise thoughts , l agree. And you tapped into another reason l'm unsure right now in that l'm really undecided about just where to bloody go anyway. l did have something in mind but l don't wanna sell up and rush off when l'm so iffy , yaknow, it could really mess up. but whatever l do after browsing , crikey , l need more money , don't we all eh. the area l was thinking about has already gone up a heap in only 2 yrs. it's crazy. So yeah all things considered maybe l finish this place and look around more in the mean time.

Gday Paul and thanks as always mate , always nice to hear your thoughts . And that's a good point about the ex. Not that l even see her and we're fine when we do , it's just always in the head though you know , gotta get it the hell outa there haven't l. we're in different towns at least, it shouldn't matter, well not for only another year anyway.

hiya cm and thanks as always too. Nice of you to drop in with so much going on yourself so really appreciated. really good tip in not spending too much too yep , damn good idea, who knows what the markets gonna do . thankfully some light labor alone and not many bucks would make a massive difference here so yeah , gonna go that way l think.

wise words to with ng aand thanks again . No wet blanket don't worry l know you mean it as a friend yaknow, big difference right. we do have one auto stopper so l might be safe from myself haha. she does have to be back in sydney for a mth at least, in 2 wks time . so hopefully however things go that'll give us a chance to get back to earth , or l might be here moaning away because it allw ent to shyt anyway.

that's the real gamble isn't it. trouble is we can't go on visiting with the distance . well , guess l;m either gonna end up really happy or in even worse shape than l was before huh.

take care everyone

rx