Do you think the way l'm living is ok for now?

[Guest_1584]

Hi BB.

l feel like this is another dumb question from rx , but ah well.ln times of uncertainties we might ask some of those right.

We sep' and divorced 5yrs ago , threw life into a spin. Together 19yrs before. l've stayed in the area to be close to my d, 16now, and finally got another house of my own 15mths ago.

l was with someone new nearly 2yrs but it hasn't worked out unfortunately but being long distance 70% of the time, there was lots of days and nights spent at home in our little private bubble world of messaging and skyping .

So now that we've split, l still haven't built any sort of a new life really. Got this hosue because loved the spot and the house itslef and great views and it's only 20mins form my d's town. lhoped l'd like it here , maybe even make a new life. But ldon't really fit in this town and so it's beena lot more time at home, l work at home too.

Nit sure if l'll stay here , but l do love the house and spot and views and in spare time can easily just hang out around the house days on end , basically alone, bt l dunno, it's just and old renovator but just really comfy to hang out in, live.

If l'm working l always try to get out most days, pick up spares or spin over to one of the other towns for a change of scenery , or some lunch, whatever.Or locally up to the shops even , groceries whatever , anything just to get out for awhile.

lately l've sort of developed a bit of a pattern in spare time. love hanging out around the house a day , 2 or 3, but then l make myslef go see some, a drink with my brother, or another mate l know, or up to the main town , see my daughter some days, or beach , go for a hike, or something. No pubbing or night life.

Same with wkends, l try to get out somewhere one day, hang out at home the other.

But that's pretty well life has been since split with gf. Mostly alone , andl enjoy lately just hanging out around this house , maybe way way too much , not sure. music or some reno's or movies , internet. It's just big and roomy and airy , views , and comfy. l often get claustrophobic but never in this house,

Do you think what l'm doing atm is ok , l really worry l'm alone too much or taht l'll slip into hermitizing too much, l dunno.

Any thoughts welcome.

rx.

[blondguy]

Hey RX

No worries at all brother. I am usually all over the place where thoughts are concerned too.

You deserve some companionship RX and good on you. You are a smart and caring guy who understands that your own well being is important

Life can be a gamble for sure...Its just taken me so very long not to 'overthink' everything I do..(seriously)

Making the right decision is always a pain as we dont have a crystal ball.

Knowing you have made the best decision at this time is the best you or I can do...

Always great to have you as part of the Beyond Blue Forum Family RX!

My Best always....and have some fun too!

Paul

[CMF]

Hope it all goes well with ng.

Sounds like the house doesn't need too much just remeber first impressions count do a nice front garden, welcoming/inviting entrance, neutral colours, no clutter so people can picture their stuff in there. Oh not too many personal photos etc either, others need to picture their life in a new home.

Thx also for your posts on my thread, good to see it from a male perspective.

Cmf x

[Guest_1584]

Thanks muchly Paul mate , always appreciated and don't worry if a good times around l don't usually need too much encouraging .

Nice to know someone else is everywhere sometimes too . For me life's just had so many twists and turns this last 5 or 6 yrs seems like there's never a straight forward path to anything anymore.

Heya cm , thanks very much for that.

Appreciate the great house tips too , women are so good at all that . But yeah this place is a very light reno as far as renos go, very cosmetic , Not gonna have much choice anyway by the looks of things, more crap on the news tonight about loans tightening ever more ,,,, great, just what this country needs, more rules butttt, so l'm gonna need the money that 's for sure so l'll have to reno anyway .

Thanks again one and all ,l hope all is well or somewhere near it .

All the best , rx

[CMF]

Happy Father's Day RX and Paul.

life may not have dealt you a good hand, but you've done the best you can for your kids.

hope today is good to you.

cmf x

[Guest_1584]

Delayed thanks for that cm.

But it's Wweird really , lifes hands and all. l dunno if l was to really think about it , which l ain't gonna do haha because it doeasn't matter but was it lifes hands with me or mine.? ln most cases tbh it was probably mine.

Been dealt some pretty good stuff over the years tbh but trying to get it right and all the ducks lining up has been the thing with me l'd say MORE THAn anything . But anyway , nother story.

Well , lots going on in my neck of the woods lately. NG , been here for over a week now too. anonther nother story l'll have to come back to when l figure it out myself later.

But it's kinda or prettywell you would say actually , another of those lifes of good hands, very very very good hands , she's an incredible girl and hot as hell just to ice the cake but yet again , how to get this right or just what to do.

Ex gf , is still all over heart and mind. l know of course it's just too soon , but when something like this comes along at a time like this , wth do ya do yaknow, throw it away ???????

Anyway ng understands and she's been really good about it and l've been honest about it.

Can't really add much more right now, though l need to get it outa my head bad , just dunno how to unjumble it yet.

Take care people and good luck with the ex cm, hope it goes really nice for you both.

rx

[blondguy]

Hey RX

Firstly....thanks heaps for continuing to post with us (thumbs up!)

I am happy that you are happy with Ng's company....You deserve someone that is good to you. I understand it would be difficult with you ex. I have felt exactly the same as you do now

One day at a time RX...you have a lot to look forward too...seriously

you are a legend

Paul

[Guest_1584]

Eh Paul and thanks very much as always for that mate.

So can l ask you mate , how did you handle it then ? Any ideas or whatever the term would be l'd love to hear about , because tbh , l really have no effg idea wth l'm doing.

Or feeling either actually . l know l still love probably always will ex gf , but l still just don't see wth we can do with it ever unless she was to go back to our original plan from day one moving back over to oz and a few other things/ Sad part is , l have a feeling she has changed her mind about big stuff because she's sorta still around , but we haven't talked.

Meanwhile along came ng, we've been having the most beautiful time, and she's also turned my house inside out upside down and every other which way haha , for the better, cracks me up,. l just let her go for her life place is lookin great now. Anything that wasn't bolted down has found some kinda new assistance. Wouldn't put it past her one iota to start unbolting the bolted either soon haha.

But it's all bloody confusing so feel free to chip in mate or anyone else passing through. l could easily love her , maybe l do , but ex is all confusing it. she says she loves me so much but l keep saying ahh , ya don't even know me yet baby but thanks all the same and she knows l'm a bit torn and doesn't hassle me over it.

She's an incredible girl and don't ask me how because we're from such different cultures and she's also onlly been speaking English 4yrs becaus eher ex was the same nationality but she's bloody good already. we do have a few hold ups at times with each others accents though.She watching tv or something she can understand UK or american or others but aussie she says is out there on it's own , pretty funny eh , but anyway we somehow just gel , anything, doesn't matter, it's a beautiful weird. Sure wasn't expecting anything like this anytime soon maybe never again.

Buttttt, then there's the ex sitch , and if we go on too long well, tbh l couldn't imagine her not here now already , shyt. think l might be in a bit of trouble.

[blondguy]

Hey RX

After my ex and I split I called her up months later and asked her if she wanted to have a coffee with me....and she said no. I am glad I asked her as I needed to hear if there was any chance of a future. When my ex said no....that was the end of it for me and I moved on

Can I ask if you want to have a coffee with your ex? If the answer is yes.....then ask her. You have nothing to lose RX....Its only a coffee yet her answer will speak volumes.

Ng is a wonderful person as you mentioned. I just thought I would try to help with the thoughts you have for your ex....I hope that is okay

Cheers Brother

Paul

[Guest_1584]

Ehya Paul , no of course mate don't mind at all , helpful too.

Man that is a great way to look at things , , pure and simple. And weird l wouldn't have thought of it in those terms but when my marriage broke up l pretty well asked her something like that 4 or 5 mths later and walked away with the same thoughts too when she said no.

Yep l'd like to have a coffee with ex gf for sure if it was possible, problem is she's back in San Francisco , but l'll still think about it anyway.

Thanks a heap for that mate .

All the best

rx

[CMF]

Hey rx and a wave to Paul,

i read a quote recently

'Don't look back, you're not going that way '.

it is a tricky one, maybe you need more times to get over the ex, but if the stars are aligning with the ng, then I think it's worth giving it a go.

what did you decide on with your house?

cmf x