DEPRESSION: Fight it or embrace it?

[Doolhof]

Right now I feel like I don't have the energy to do either. Just existing is difficult enough. I've been trying to "float" this one out but the Black Dog is right there trying to drag me under.

My Psychologist tells me to embrace the depression, to accept it, to make the most of those rotten days when you feel like you can't do a thing. To just live with it and the sting of the depression will ease away. If I don't feed it, it will give up.

I must be doing something wrong as all that seems to do is escalate how horrid I feel, I break down in tears and feel like "what is the point" this monster is winning.

Depression. BPD. Stress. Suicidal thoughts. Maybe I do need to find ways to embrace these issues before they totally destroy me. But how?

Maybe I could try poetry, I've already painted a couple of pictures showing what is going on in my head, maybe more paintings or drawings might help get the muck out.

I'm just so tired and exhausted. Mental health issues suck!

Fighting it is exhausting. Trying to embrace it is soul destroying.

ACCEPTANCE! Where the hell is ACCEPTANCE! Think it ran away with HOPE!

Wishing you all a sense of acceptance and hope!

Cheers from a battered feeling Dools

[Chloe_M]

I'm feeling much better now, thank you! I went to dance, ever though I was completely uninterested and wasn't up for it, but now I feel really refreshed.

how are you doing?

[blondguy]

Hello Dools

Its great to see your thread bouncing all the place 🙂

I have always been a big fan of yours...your spirit and the heartfelt way you have helped so many people on the forums for such a long time. You helped me out big time when I started on the forums too and thankyou 🙂

Its only my experience with 3 decades of therapy....If we cuddle the black dog the severity of the symptoms will dissipate....Sure it takes determination, time and practice, but fighting can be futile where regaining some peace of mind is concerned

That aside....its always a huge bonus to see your wisdom & TLC on the forums Dools

My Kindest always x

Paul

[Doolhof]

Hey Paul,

Thanks for the very kind words. Cuddling the Black dog, now there is a whole new thought for me to consider! I wonder if I can sit down and reason with it as well! Or at least reason with myself as to how I am going to approach the current episode of not so pleasantness.

Today I am catching up with a friend who has a whole lot of mental health issues herself as does her husband, who has more than his fair share actually. We are going to be a support to each other , have coffee and a few laughs...the laughing is my plan anyway.

Than I am off to my craft group then have a battering session with the physio, she batters me, I don't batter her. It is very much a one sided pummelling!

hanks again for your support and encouragement Paul. I know how to help myself, it is just when you are in the thick of it sometimes it can be difficult. I do try, some days I am just very tired and out of strength.

Maybe I need to go dancing like Chloe mentioned, or at least dance around the house for a while. My husband might think I have gone bonkers, so I could plan that for when he is at work or go and dance around the trees in the garden.

Cheers to you Paul and to All, from Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi Chloe,

It is wonderful you were able to get yourself out to go dancing. I know that if I can get myself to do things I will feel better too.

I like your idea of dancing. Many years ago I was in a group that did a bit of dancing as therapy. I was so very unco-ordinated at the time, it was when my chronic fatigue was bad.

It was so funny, everyone else was going left, and my body wanted to go right, they were going forward and I was going backwards. One lady chummed up with me and literally held my arm and dragged me (nicely) in the right direction.

Some days I still couldn't get it right and ended up doing my own thing. We all had such a great laugh, it was a lot of fun.

Dancing. Yes. I must put that on my To Do Soon list!

Cheers Chloe and all from Dools

[Chloe_M]

(writing this in science because I'm done all my work and its super boring...)

Haha, dancing in the garden! Nice one Dools!

I dance around the house, as well as for my 12 hours a week at class. It really distracts me from these depressing feelings. I recently downloaded Duolingo, I am learning German so i can speak to my dad's parents and the rest of his family! It gives me something to do.

Unfortunately, when i called Headspace they were in a meeting. I will call them again this afternoon. When I go I will tell them that I am feeling really depressed, as well as talking about anxiety.

Hope you're doing okay today 🙂

Chloe

[PamelaR]

Hello Dools (Welcome Chloe, Wave to Paul)

Ohhh, I love dancing too. Any sort. I used to do demonstration folk and scottish country dancing. Also love disco dancing, ballroom dancing. Anything that gets my body moving..... all good.

Ouch though these days. Hips, knees and feet are not appreciative. Arthritis abounds. However, my head and body truly remembers it all and when music comes on that I danced to, my body just loves it.

Hope you're doing okay today Dools. Let me know if you want to talk.... Here for you.

Kind regards

Pammy

[Doolhof]

Hi Pammy, Chloe and Everyone Reading,

My husband is off to work after dinner, so I might put some music on and have a little dance around in the house. Outside we have a terrible dust storm happening, so dancing in the garden will have to wait for another day!

Today I have been feeling a bit down and have accepted that and made the most of all the day has had to offer.

I was going to cancel a catch up with a friend, but decided that was just my depression talking, so went to their home and enjoyed her company. She talked for 2 hours, I basically said hello and goodbye, but that was okay! Gave me more time to eat chocolate biscuits. Ha. Ha.

From there my mind told me to just head home, instead I drove to the craft group and enjoyed chatting with the ladies there and managed to do quite a bit of my crochet blanket.

Then it was off to the physio. She was running late and my mind was telling me to get up and run out the door! Oh dear! I managed to keep by button the chair until the physio was free, then she taught me some more exercises that will help my back, hips, neck and shoulders.

This morning I read a comment which went a little like this " You can't teach new things to a mind that is closed". If I had listened to my closed mind this morning I would not have gone out and would not have achieved anything nor had such a lovely day!

So how am I doing? I am doing okay and will have lots of things to write up in my Gratitude Dairy!

I will also be selecting a CD for later!

Cheers ladies and thank you so much for being a part of my encouraging cheer squad!

From Dools

[Doolhof]

Today I think I both fought my depression and embraced it!

I did not let my depressed mood dictate to me what I was going to achieve today.

I embraced my depression enough o be able to accept it was there, acknowledge what it was trying to tell me, cuddled the darn thing like Paul suggested, then managed to progress to do some nice things today!

Yah! A bit of hard work but all good in the end!

[Chloe_M]

Good on you Dools!

Make sure to plan more catch ups with friends and some nice things for the weekend!

its great that you didn't listen to your mind when it was telling you not to do things. I think I need to work on that. Mind over matter I guess.

make sure you do some dancing later- I just came back from my regular 3 hour lesson and am feeling super refreshed 💃🏽

Have a good night 🙂

Chloe

[Ggrand]

Hello Dools, Chloe and everyone,

Dools I really enjoy reading your posts the 2 one up was really inspirational.....Thank you.

I hope you know what a wonderful person you really are..if not well I'm letting you know now..

Kind thoughts,

Karen....Grandy.