DEPRESSION: Fight it or embrace it?

[Doolhof]

Right now I feel like I don't have the energy to do either. Just existing is difficult enough. I've been trying to "float" this one out but the Black Dog is right there trying to drag me under.

My Psychologist tells me to embrace the depression, to accept it, to make the most of those rotten days when you feel like you can't do a thing. To just live with it and the sting of the depression will ease away. If I don't feed it, it will give up.

I must be doing something wrong as all that seems to do is escalate how horrid I feel, I break down in tears and feel like "what is the point" this monster is winning.

Depression. BPD. Stress. Suicidal thoughts. Maybe I do need to find ways to embrace these issues before they totally destroy me. But how?

Maybe I could try poetry, I've already painted a couple of pictures showing what is going on in my head, maybe more paintings or drawings might help get the muck out.

I'm just so tired and exhausted. Mental health issues suck!

Fighting it is exhausting. Trying to embrace it is soul destroying.

ACCEPTANCE! Where the hell is ACCEPTANCE! Think it ran away with HOPE!

Wishing you all a sense of acceptance and hope!

Cheers from a battered feeling Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi Pammy,

I certainly understand you so very well when you say that you don't want to accept your depression and that living with it is very hard. It is hard, it is more than that sometimes, it is totally unbearable. I certainly do understand you!

For me, I have found that wishing I was happy when I am feeling blue and miserable makes me feel worse! I so desire the better place, that I dig myself deeper into depression. It is when I try so hard to not accept it that I become powerless! It has taken me a long time to come to this realisation mind you!

Yesterday afternoon I felt extremely depressed for no reason other than depression came to visit for a while. I read a book. I didn't achieve anything, I had wanted to clean the floor, it didn't happen, but I did manage to read that book! I counted that as an achievement as I did not go to bed and cry and feel totally helpless.

I agree that we all need to find what works for us. Just wondering, when you are having a down time with depression, do you explain that to the people around you? I let my husband know if I am really struggling, makes him realise it is not about him but about my mental health.

Having that thought about wondering how you are going to move on is very powerful! It means you don't want to stay in that dark place!

It is wonderful we can share our experiences here, as we do not know who we may be helping or inspiring to try something different, to make choices, to search for the helpful strategies to assist us all to move on.

Recognising we have depression, realising it is an illness and not something we bring upon ourselves is very important as well. It is there. We can find various ways to deal with it.

Wishing you a day where you can sit comfortably with your depression if it come along today Pammy and hoping you find ways to get through the day with hope and anticipation!

Cheers to you and All reading from Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi Birdy and All,

What you have written makes a lot of sense, as every moment of the day is different. I am sure there will be times when one lot of actions and strategies works really well, we can try that the next time and get no where!

A bit like me making lasagne! It never turns out the same even though I use the same recipe! Well, I hope you understand what I mean there!

Guess we just have to try different things and see what works. We may have moments and days when nothing seems to be working. That is when we need to try and focus on just getting through that rough time.

This morning I awoke feeling really depressed and miserable. I rolled over in bed and thought I could continue to just stay in bed and be miserable, I could get up and be miserable, or I could go for a walk and possibly still feel miserable but at least achieve something.

So I went for a walk. I was feeling depressed. I looked around me, tried to appreciate what I was seeing, listened for the birds and heard some lambs in the distance. I still felt lousy. I wanted to cry. Was glad to get home. I was also pleased that I had decided to look after myself enough to go for a walk! I had achieved something.

I can think about how depressed I am feeling or I can decide that yes I am depressed, there are still things I can achieve today. I have already proven that by going for a walk when I could have stayed in bed.

I won't be doing much outside today unfortunately as it was already 30 degrees at 8.00 a.m. here! I am so over our never ending summer! Roll on winter!

Hey Birdy and All, wishing you a day where no matter if you fight or embrace your mental health, you feel like a winner and you have achieved something, even if it is getting out of bed and getting dressed.

Cheers all from Dools

[PamelaR]

Hello Dools (wave to Birdy)

Thank you for your lovely response. You're so right, putting out our ways of 'coping'/'managing' our down times may help others too. Good one.

Just wondering, when you are having a down time with depression, do you explain that to the people around you?

Yes, I talk about it with my husband. Often he is very perceptive and has picked up I'm depressed before I do. As to telling others, well only recently I've started opening up a little to friends. Not explaining why, just that I'm down and don't want to be. They are supportive which is nice. I am selective who I tell though. For instance, I wouldn't tell my brothers or my hubby's siblings. Not that they would not be supportive. They are just not the type of people to talk about 'yourself' like that. Does that make sense?

I always have hope Dools. Hope to wake and to be okay. Wow Dools, I've had an epiphany (a moment of sudden and great revelation or realisation) - I'm never really and truly going to be okay the way I want to be!! So, I now see where you are coming from about acceptance. Oh my. Hmmmmm, you've give me something to work on.

Hugs all around (you too Birdy - I liked your thoughts)

Pammy

[Doolhof]

A thought to consider:

Your opinion and feelings towards yourself affects the way you see your mental health issues. If you experience feelings of self criticism, negative thinking and feel like you can't cope with your depression, you are going to struggle with any sense of confidence that you can challenge your moods.

Cheers all, from Dools

[PamelaR]

Dools you are so, so wise!

[Doolhof]

Thanks Pamela, I am also tired of living life as I have been. I am wanting to change.

Reading self help books and trying to put different ideas into practice is helping.

I need to believe I have the power and strength within me to do what I can to assist myself.

I will be wise each time I attempt to achieve what I can when I can!

[Chloe_M]

Dools, dear friend, I'm so sorry you are going through this. Sending virtual hugs!!

xx Chloe

[Doolhof]

Hi Chloe,

Thanks for the hugs and warm greetings.

I'm using this current bout of depression as a time to learn to do life differently, so in a way it is a bonus and not all negative!

Like you mentioned in a different thread, I can look at the WHAT IS and not just the What Ifs.

Cheers and thanks from Dools

[Chloe_M]

That's great! I'm glad that advice helped you!

I'm wondering if any of you here have any ideas on what is going on with me at the moment. This morning I was on top of the world, but about an hour ago, within a matter of seconds, I hit rock bottom. I was on a high, and now I'm really depressed.

Any ideas?

Chloe

[Doolhof]

Hey Chloe,

Unfortunately the highs and lows can hit us so unexpectedly we have no idea where they come from or why. They just happen.

The point is how we cope with this. I have been battling myself all day, up and down like a jolly roller coaster. I ended up going to bed for a while as I was so exhausted. The rest helped a little.

We just need to find what works to help us through those rough times. If you find you have too many downers, than please share your experiences with someone.

It is important to not spiral down too far! Trying to break that cycle is important.

Hope you are feeling a little better now!

Cheers from Dools