Constant blues and not knowing what to do with it

[Guest_322]

Hi,

The title basically says it all. I'm something of a sad sack (have been for most of my life).

Some people's trauma seems to come out predominantly as PTSD. Not me, mine seems to show itself as a constant state of blues instead (either that or I'm turning into my mum).

I kind of just want to stay in bed all day. Luckily I'm usually good at dragging my arse of of bed.

Not sure if this thread serves any purpose other than looking for fellow sad sacks- I say this affectionately as I am one of them- who can empathise?

Also, anyone who has had a traumatic childhood but without PTSD?

Dottie x

[blondguy]

Hey Dottie

Thanks for the latitude 🙂

I woke up this morning and started posting at about 5am.....which is rare as most of my posts are written at night.

I did read my post....from this morning..oh boy....I sounded like needed a coffee really bad....my apologies Dottie

I might stick to late posting and leave the early ones to smart people like yourself

Thanks for the info on who wrote that great paragraph too...Bless Corny's heart. She is another legend

Paul xo

[james1]

Hey Dottie,

I just thought I'd post again because sometimes each day can be very long.

You are kind, and fun, and funny, and clever. But sadly, you're not doing very well mentally and I hear you loud and clear.

I've noticed you've dropped the words SH here and there, you've started posting less on new threads, and you're less active in the Friend's Cafe. These are all totally okay, and they're also what made me worried about how you're doing.

So for those times when you're not posting, and feeling isolated or lonely or like no one's listening...we're listening to your absence and we know you're struggling.

Much love

James

[Guest_322]

Hi guys,

Paul, thanks but no apology needed at all. All is well. Looks like you and I have been on an apology merry-go-round haha.

I think you're far too modest. I'm sure you're more than capable of posting at any hour 😊 Yes, Corny is pretty legendary!

James, what a beautiful, sensitive post.

So for those times when you're not posting, and feeling isolated or lonely or like no one's listening...we're listening to your absence and we know you're struggling.

For those words, thank you. It means a lot to know that you care and that you're reaching out to me. The last line was particularly powerful.

Just feeling sad but I suppose that's nothing new to me. The SH urge has been, for whatever reason, strong lately. Haven't succumbed to it though.

Here's my virtual thank you present to you and everyone else who has replied to or read this thread:

You can stack misery, you can pack despair- you can wear your sorrow. But come tomorrow, you must change your clothes.

- not sure who said it but found those words online today.

Dottie xxx

[Guest_322]

Seriously, can we make musicland a reality? A place where we don't speak but sing or play instruments to communicate instead. If anyone finds such a place, let me know!

When the words run dry, thank goodness for music!

Show Must Go On (Queen) sums it up beautifully for me.

Have a good weekend everyone.

Dottie x

[Guest_322]

Stumbled upon a thread- forget who it was by- about the poster feeling as though he (she?) was on a merry-go-round.

Struck a chord with me. Sometimes this- all of the stuff around me in the world- feels like one big exercise in futility. Round and round the merry-go-round.

I'm not seeking advice. I just want to vent.

Dottie x

[Just Sara]

When you walk through a storm, hold your head up high, and don't be afraid of the dark;

Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart, and you'll never walk alone;

You'll never walk alone...

🙂

[Guest_322]

Thanks Sara.

Not hope. Just survival. It's always dark. Futile. Live with or without anything for long enough and you can sort of get used to it. Though I do sometimes wonder what it would be like to not be here. Anyway, it doesn't matter, they're just stray thoughts.

Thanks for popping in. I know it has been a rough week for you so it especially means a lot that you reached out to me. You take good care of yourself.

I hope you have a restful weekend.

Dottie xxx

[james1]

Hey Dottie,

Carry on, by Fun

Though I've never been through hell like that
I've closed enough windows to know you can never look back

If you're lost and alone
Or you're sinking like a stone
Carry on
May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground and
Carry on

[blondguy]

Hey Dottie

Great taste in music and Queen rocks 🙂

I know about the feeling of futility of the 'Merry go Round' feeling...

No advice here...just know that feeling

I hope we both have a good weekend

Paulxo

[Guest_322]

Hi there,

Thank you so much for the messages. They meant a lot.

James, I love how you and Sara were communicating to me in my favourite language. Music and lyrics, huh?

You're good at making people feel heard. Thanks for not giving me a sermon or going all pseudo shrink on me.

Anyway, listening is something that I value very highly. Thank you.

Paul, thanks for empathising. I hope you enjoyed that weekend too. You're also good at listening. Gentle and kind is definitely your approach.

Mark, I so appreciated your thoughtful words from before. You have a natural empathy and warmth. I think many people sense that in you.

Dottie x