Morning Dear Dottie;
I apologise for not posting on your thread until now; it's taken a great deal of courage to even read it. (for the first time today) In some way, I wish I hadn't, in another, I'm glad I did; I'm getting to know you..
I've been thru the gammit of psych's too. What I have learned, is that going too deep can retraumatise. That therapy was about trauma and people who hurt me.
In this thread, people mostly tell of 'coping' strategies; except Paul. His experience with the MH nurse, exposed the cause, and he courageously allowed himself to express the hurt and emotion built up as a little boy in a violent and emotionally un-supportive environment; inner child therapy.
I've said this before; it isn't so much what's done to us, it's how we felt at that time. Children 'survive' dysfunction any way they can; lollies, friends, movies, TV or pretending it didn't happen. This is about denying our pain and focusing on feeling better...and it works! ...for a while.
The result when older can be depression. To deny yourself the opportunity to express as a child is supposed to, is denying the core of who you are and can be. That pain stays within you until you set it free as Paul did. And yes, it hurts..it really hurts to 'feel'. Once it's all out though, it never has to be revisited.
Re SH; when I bashed my forehead against a brick wall, (my bf had been ignoring me while I cried to him about my disappointment) it felt so good...I 'felt' something that needed to be 'expressed'...internal pain reminiscent of childhood.
The problem with this, was using punishment against myself; dysfunctional parenting. When I had emotional outbursts as a child, I was ignored, then hit. So normal hey? Then I grew up and did the same thing to myself.
Giving that child within genuine praise/nurturing and; permission to express deep hurt or anger without being punished, criticised, belittled, ignored etc; is an exercise in self love; nothing less. We deserve to be free of our shackles.
Love you Dot;
Sara x
