Battling the booze

Kazzl · ‎08-02-2016

When the black dog bites, many of us reach for a drink. It can ease the pain, help us relax, block out what's going on in our minds. If it's just the odd drink now and then, even one or two a night, there's no harm and maybe even welcome relief. But for some of us, many in fact, literally drowning our sorrows becomes a problem in itself. We drink more and more until the booze takes over, and drinking becomes all we want to do.

That was me for a long time until I finally realised the combination of booze and depression would kill me. If I wanted to live, if I wanted to be able to manage my depression, I had to get sober. I did, nearly five years ago, and it's the hardest thing I've ever done.

If booze is controlling you and you're not controlling it, this thread is for you. If you want to regain control - get sober or moderate your drinking (which for many is harder than quitting) or if you're worried you are drinking too much, join us here.

On this thread I'll talk about my battle with the booze and offer advice and support to anyone who is struggling. I welcome anyone who's been there or is worried they are going there, to join in. And I hope others now living sober will come here to help our friends who are struggling.

One thing this thread is not is a place to discuss how much a drink or two helps you. It's not an anti-alcohol thread, but it's not a general discussion about alcohol either. It's for people who are genuinely worried about it or who want to control it, and it's a place of celebration (without judgment about drinkers) for those of us who are now living sober.

I hope anyone who's battling the booze will join us.

Cheers 😀

Kaz

geoff · ‎02-01-2017

Lynda, I am here and I always know that there will be times when all you want to do is pick up the bottle and get intoxicated, but you have to remember that the next day you will feel as though you have let those who care about you down, so guilt will be aflush and this will make you feel as though you have let us down, but remember we carry this badge of depression on our shoulder every day, sometimes we can hold it down while other days it's weighing us down.
An alcoholic naturally feels as though 'I'll just have one drink', but for many one drink isn't just one it means drink till you drop, sure it may help get you over that particular day, but the remorse in you could get too much, and that's when depression hits you harder than you wanted.
There are many things in life we all want, some we can and some it's not advisable to, so the urge is with us, but this is where you have to be strong, think about how upset you could make us feel, but for the last 7 months you have been able to forget about alcohol, you're said no to anybody who asked you if you wanted a drink, and to do this means you have great strength.
Today will pass just as tomorrow will, but there isn't enough alcohol in the world that will make you happy, it's a burden you will have to carry. Geoff. x

5022 · ‎02-01-2017

Hi to my fellow battlers. Reading through your posts over the last few days.

Pipsy and Moon, I hope the hell off battling through the urge has passed for now and that Pipsy, your depression is starting too lift. I know the delema of only being really able too go too bed but if you don't go where your expected you are assumed too be drinking. It you do go and noticed to "not be right" then you may be seen too be going too drink. Bed is the best option, you can't go through the drive through on the way home if your in bed, and snuggling away from the world saves us from situations that may trigger extra stress and a bottle shop. Regardless of what people think(and people assuming things) is extra stress full when the black dog visits, bed is safe.

Welcome Jim. I read through your posts with great familiarity regarding your wife's drinking habits. As a horrific drinker, I feel safe in saying unless you are with your wife 24/7 you won't know how much she is drinking. Its likely she is not drinking just when your around to count drinks. I've been known to drink a 4 litre cask in 24hrs but that's on my own, no one counting my drinks and no one left to hide it from.( I use too hide alcohol so what I drank publicly didn't seem that much ). My demise was getting caught drink driving 5 years ago. It didn't stop me drinking but it sure started my acceptance that I had lost control of alcohol and started me thinking that alcohol is often my enemy and then my journey to regain control began ( with many failures along the way) Do you know if your wife drink drives. You mentioned having young kids. I don't want too be nosey and I'm sure the thought has crossed your mind many times. I can only emphasise what others have said, that only the drinker can decide to stop drinking, even going to rehab won't help much if the drinker is looking forward too their discharge and next drink. Their is also a Family Drug Help line for families of alcoholics and community health centres also offer programs for families.

Well new years was sober for me. I stayed home NYE with my cat, watched a movie, then baked food all day yesterday in preparation for going back to work Wednesday. Not boring but lonely and felt a bit distanced from society that I wasn't "doing anything" but that's OK. I didn't make an a--e of myself anywhere.

Wishing everyone strength and self forgiveness this 2017 xo Nae

Doolhof · ‎02-01-2017

Hey,

I like the idea of having strength and self forgiveness. What a great combination!

A bit like lemon, honey and a hint of ginger in hot water to give you a boost.

Anyone else have any great combinations of non alcoholic drinks they would like to share?

New Year's Eve one of our dinner guests could not drink alcohol due to the medication she was on. I shared a cup of green tea with her, brought out on a try with an Asian tea pot and a couple of Asian style tea cups. We had our own tea pouring ceremony.

One thing that brightens me when I am feeling low, is to make up a breakfast tray and take it our to the patio when I can. A change of scenery and the fresh air does me well. I enjoy my pot of green tea in fancy cups!

Cheers all , from Dools

Hey Pipsy, thinking of you!

geoff · ‎03-01-2017

hello Nae, what you have said is so very true, that if you don't go to where you are expected to go, people assume that you have or are drinking, just as they do if you seem to be off colour, so then an argument can begin which will only make you feel worse, and feel as though you do actually need a drink.
It's the pressure those who are watching us and their constant comments or nagging which is something you really don't want, and I can remember it always happening with me, because I was a cupboard drinker and went outside, but as soon as I came in all the questions would be fired at me, always saying the only reason I went outside was to have a drink, true, but it was the constant belittering that only made my situation worse. Geoff.

5022 · ‎03-01-2017

I failed. I know I didn't hurt anyone as there is no one left to hurt except me. Damn. I thought I was better than this. X

pipsy · ‎03-01-2017

Hey guys. I got through. My daughter totally surprised me. She is unbelievably awesome (I dislike that word, actually). She arrived after trying to phone me several times. She took over completely. She got me to a Dr who sedated me so I was able to sleep at her house. She contacted my bf who emailed me and let me know he was there. My mind was in an emotional foggy haze and I find it hard to believe my thought patterns were so dysfunctional. I have a lot happening atm and I went through a stage of 'am I doing the right thing'. My daughter spoke to the Dr (a locum) who realized I was in a haze. I'm okay, functioning clearly. I did not succumb to drink, I wanted to but sleep and the thought of driving didn't appeal so drink 'lost' I won. Another victory.

Lynda

5022 · ‎03-01-2017

Lynda. Brilliant. We can all get through this together. I was weakened. An excuse but I'm still training myself. Still no excuse. There is always going to be a reason why I should drink really so many reasons why I shouldn't. I'm back at work tom so I'm safe then. Shit this is hard stuff that only a drinker knows. Bless this thread xo

pipsy · ‎03-01-2017

Hi 5022. You are so right about it being harder some times than others. All that stoped me was I had nothing in the house and the thought of driving was a no-go. I don't need a ticket for speeding, I have a job where I drive, so getting a ticket or getting stopped for breathalyzer wasn't an option either. Sometimes the alternative (which for me was sleep), suits better. Today, I'm on top, that's good enough for me. Each day without, is a pat on the back, each time you fall is 'pick yourself up - again - day'. Do you have a good support team for your 'fall down' days. This thread is truly amazing, but you still need someone who can come when you 'fall'.

Lynda

geoff · ‎04-01-2017

dear Lynda, it must have a very tough period that you have gone through, it always is, but there is one thing to remember that your willpower has now become much stronger, no matter how hard it is for you, these times of wanting to drink will become easier, although the urge will always be there, it is for an alcoholic, but to say no will end up being a big NO.
You will look back at this time and feel proud of yourself for not succumbing, so this is a very important day for you, and you will always remember this day.
Well done, it's not easy to be this strong.

5022 you have to look at this by saying that you haven't failed, it's another lesson you have learnt, why you drank and what the circumstances that have caused this, so next time you will avoid the same situations, this is part of learning, next time you could avoid falling victim to the alcohol. Geoff.

pipsy · ‎04-01-2017

Hi Geoff and thanks for your usual wisdom. You always seem to know what to say. I guess the reasons for not drinking are not important. The fact that I didn't is what's important. My daughter absolutely astounded me more than my not drinking. I thought she would automatically accuse me, she never said anything. She told me I was loved (adored, were her actual words). She got me to the Dr, told him what was happening in my life. She emailed my bf and asked him for advice as she was totally bewildered. She was an absolute rock, so was my bf. My son knows nothing as he is away. I owe my daughter and bf so much for their support on this. I love them both so much.

Thanks both of you.

Lynda