Battling the booze

[Kazzl]

When the black dog bites, many of us reach for a drink. It can ease the pain, help us relax, block out what's going on in our minds. If it's just the odd drink now and then, even one or two a night, there's no harm and maybe even welcome relief. But for some of us, many in fact, literally drowning our sorrows becomes a problem in itself. We drink more and more until the booze takes over, and drinking becomes all we want to do. 

That was me for a long time until I finally realised the combination of booze and depression would kill me. If I wanted to live, if I wanted to be able to manage my depression, I had to get sober. I did, nearly five years ago, and it's the hardest thing I've ever done.

If booze is controlling you and you're not controlling it, this thread is for you. If you want to regain control - get sober or moderate your drinking (which for many is harder than quitting) or if you're worried you are drinking too much, join us here.

On this thread I'll talk about my battle with the booze and offer advice and support to anyone who is struggling. I welcome anyone who's been there or is worried they are going there, to join in. And I hope others now living sober will come here to help our friends who are struggling.

One thing this thread is not is a place to discuss how much a drink or two helps you. It's not an anti-alcohol thread, but it's not a general discussion about alcohol either. It's for people who are genuinely worried about it or who want to control it, and it's a place of celebration (without judgment about drinkers) for those of us who are now living sober.

I hope anyone who's battling the booze will join us.

Cheers 😀

Kaz 

[pipsy]

Hi M.S The problem being, if I don't go to my daughter's she's going to automatically think I've 'fallen' again. I haven't had a drink, I managed to overpower the urge but I don't feel like seeing anyone. I actually just want to pull the bedclothes over me. If I go, she's going to know I'm not 'me' she could still ask what's wrong. Have been a bit weepy today, just don't feel my normal, happy self. Don't want to talk about why I feel so 'down'. I can't talk about it, it's too personal. I feel so alone and yuk. Need a drink, don't want it, need it. Won't succumb, quite a battle going on here. Why me, why now?

Lynda

[Kazzl]

Hello my lovelies, I'm sorry to hear you're struggling so much today, both with the booze cravings and the black dog and anxiety.

Best thing I can say is think ahead. I know that's hard when you're in the moment consumed by cravings but try, really try. Think how you'll feel if you do drink and then have to face the disgust in yourself, the sense of failure, the guilt, the sadness of your family. Then think how you'll feel if you win this particular battle - pleased with yourself, capable, strong - reinforcing all those positive feelings that can also help you through the depressive or anxious time.

Lynda hun - there's nothing wrong with your daughter knowing you're not feeling good. Get in first and tell her, no need to say why, and if she asks maybe say you're not sure, or you'll talk about it when you're ready. Do you have the kind of relationship where you could tell her you're struggling with booze cravings and enlist her support? We all need support from time to time and there's no shame in admitting we're struggling.

Moon my mate - I don't need to tell you that if your health problems are booze related, the momentary release you might get from drinking now is going to cause you long-term grief. There, I told you anyway, sorry. Distract, distract, distract hun!! Both to fight the cravings and those troublesome thoughts. Bury yourself in a book, walk your legs off, have a movie marathon, go swimming, make sandcastles, put on loud music and dance in the kitchen ... anything to keep your brain busy on something other than what it's busy on now.

You can do it ladies. I know you can. And I know how bloody hard it is. But you can do it.

Love to you

Kaz

xx

[Kazzl]

Another thought - you do know that by quitting drinking you have both saved your own lives ... no small thing. Wear that sobriety with pride my friends.

xxxx

[blondguy]

Hey Kazzldazzle

You have many great threads including this inspirational and supportive one!

I would like to wish you and your family all the very best for 2017.

Your counsel and assistance is GOLD to so many people nationwide

Thankyou for helping Kanga fly the Chillout Lounge last night too....Talk about multitasking 🙂

Nice1 Kazzlegend

Paul xo

[pipsy]

Hi Kazzl. No I can't admit to my daughter I'm struggling with booze cravings. I hurt her and my son so much they will possibly get in touch with my male friend to enlist his help. He can't help me either, this is something I have to fight alone. At the moment, it's too hard to fight alone. I feel as though my friend couldn't care less, the 'sensible' side of me tells me that's rubbish, the 'down side' tells me he doesn't care. I haven't had drink yet, but the day is not over. This is the first time in a long time I've felt so alone. That last thought about the good side of quitting booze, isn't really 'penetrating' atm. I sort of don't give a damn either about the danger to my health. Wish it was tomorrow. Wish I could 'blot' today.

Lynda

[Doolhof]

Dear Pipsy, Moon and Everyone,

I'm so very sorry to read of your struggles Pipsy and Moon. I used to have a drinking problem. When I left home I used to be drunk by about 10 a.m. most days. During year 11 and 12 at school I would go to a friend's place for a liquid lunch, that was about the only way I thought I could cope with returning to school.

This morning at Church as the minister was talking about how wonderful Christmas is and all the wonderful opportunities we will have for the New Year, I had tears running down my face. I wanted to yell and scream and ask her what was she talking about!

I let the tears flow. The guy next to me asked if I was okay and I appreciated that. I knew I would be okay later, that it was my feelings, emotions, thoughts and depression making me feel that way.

On arriving home, I went out into the garden for an hour and a half, raking up leaves, breaking off dead sticks, picking up long pieces of bark and as I went along I admired the colours of the tree trunks where the bark had fallen off. I noticed a new flower on one rose bush, a bulb that has flowers, the sound of the birds in the trees...eating the fruit!

Don't know if this is helping or not! On occasion I have used the phone help lines and they have been very beneficial. I have at times called Lifeline, when my time was up there I called Beyond Blue and on one occasion I called a third help line.

At times it is hard to shut out the negatives and in your cases the urge to have a drink to make everything feel right. Like Kaz mentioned, unfortunately there are repercussions to our actions.

Hope you can find some hope, some strength to get through this. Thinking of all of you who are struggling right now.

Hugs and hope, from Mrs. Dools

[pipsy]

Hi Dools. Not a bad idea phoning the BB helpline. I have my g'son with me, I can't afford to let him know I'm struggling. If he finds out, he tells my daughter (his aunt), she tells my son, (g'son's father), I honestly don't need the headache. Thought about going for a walk, forget it, it's like 40 degrees outside. Just struggling, almost back to how I was when I first started posting here. Geoff's amazing, but he's not available, he'd probably ditch me too if he knew. Wouldn't blame him. I'm lost in this. Can't believe the depression would return like this. Have no AD's, probably just as well, booze and AD's not a good combo. Not making much sense.

Lynda

[pipsy]

Well today is nearly over. Didn't 'give in', don't feel particularly brave, just couldn't face going to buy booze. Probably feel better tomorrow. Not going to daughter's haven't told her, guess I'll hear about it tomorrow. Just going to bed, need sleep, block out depression with sleep.

Lynda

[Kazzl]

Hi Lynda - well done hun, you got through the day. And if getting through the night means going to bed early, do it I reckon, sleep as long as you can. Sleep is my go-to strategy for everything (except when I'm hypomanic and can't).

Let us know how you are tomorrow. You done good!

Cheers

Kaz

xx

[Moonstruck]

No of course I didn't have one either! Just have to whinge now and again about missing it...sob.

Well done Lynda...it's hard isn't it....so if you got through this one, you can do it again...and again.

I think sometimes we need to remind ourselves how much strength it takes to do what we are all doing/have done - I guess we should give ourselves a pat on the back occasionally or no-one else will hey? Sleep well.

(It's been heatwave conditions here too - I think it is contributing to a lot of folk feeling completely wrung out)