Are we kidding ourselves that things really can get better

[Guest_5809]

I have been in this vicious cycle for so long now and nothing gets better. I am battle fatigued. Truely just numb. Single parent to 2 teens with mental health issues and a narcissistic ex ( kids father). I have experienced my ex attempt suicide, my youngest who was 10 yo at the time attempt suicide and my now 14yo attempt suicide 4 times. I live an emotional roller coaster that I vant keep up wth unless I self medicate. I have 2 inpatient admissions in 7 months cause I just can't see any light left. We exist not live. I am totally lost. We have support services in place but nothing changes . I don't know how other people seem to cope and I can't. I don't know what's wrong with my brain. I feel damaged and broken. I don't want pity and I know there are lots doing it harder than I am. I want to know how to survive this or is it possible t survive ths? And please don't advise me to self care. I truely have little or know time to myself to address my own needs as my chidrens needs are high plus I work to pay bills. Sorry to sound grumpy and selfish. I am just lost and feeling hopeless.

Thanks for taking the time to read.

[Guest_5809]

I honestly feel very alone in this crap mess. Pack me on the back and keep goi g. Well I can't

[Guest_5809]

I am sorry doom and gloom all the time from me. Try not t o be. Goi g to start the I am fine to professionals what's the point of honesty anymore.

[Guest_3712]

Hi Dottie

No need to apologise about feeling crap - we all know how it feels to be so overwhelmed.

In regards to doing the ' I'm ok thing ' with the doc, that's really the one place you don't have to pretend

That is what they're there for to help you sort out your feelings and use some coping mechanisms

This is of course up to you . Keep posting here whatever you're feeling plenty of support for you

Be kind to yourself

Stressless

[Guest_128]

Hey Bell,

we all seem to be a bit stuck,

I have been thinking about you and feel your pain and we want to try and help.there for I don't know how the health system goes.

What I'm thinking is you have said you and your kids have seen a lot of professionals.

I want you to think of them all.

Who was the most helpful, knowledgeable,caring person you have seen?????

Maybe it wasn't a professional,maybe a friend or relative,shop assistant,gp,bus driver,whoever?????

Then you need to talk to that person and calmly make yourself become a little bird under their wing,listen to there advice. You gotta work it baby.

Best thing you can say to people when you are not happy is,

Its just not good enough,

I m not saying not to post,we want to help you, that's what I can come up with,hope it's of some help.

Dory

[Guest_5809]

Hi dory.

Your advice is quite true. And I often take on advice. I am s big believer in learning from those who have lived through similar circumstances. I think sometimes when your past a point of hearing others not matter what is said will make sense in your head. I do appreciate your kind words x

[Guest_5809]

I suppose I do t want to be rehospitalised at this point so feel like if I play the "I'm ok" game I will avoid it. Long term I know it won't solve a thing. But only thinking short term right now. Thank you for your kind words x

[startingnew]

hugs and hugs Dotti

i know its not much but it seems thats all i can offer as im not really sure what else to say but i want to continue supporting you

xoxoxox

[blondguy]

Hey Dotti

I just thought Id say hello....I really love what Dory and Startingnew posted...:-)

I remember whats it like to be 'broken' too. I feel your pain

my kindest always for you

Paul

[Croix]

Dear Dottibleubell~

Do you mind me asking - I know you don't want to go back to hospital - but what's the one like you have been to? Is it the kids that stop you wanting to go, or the conditions there? Or something else?

Croix

[Guest_5809]

It's the kids having no one in their lives only me that stops me. I wished somebody loved them as much as I do. Then it would be ok