Anyone had to spend days alone without anyone to talk to?

[Hanna3]

Hi all, apart from here and a brief visit to church last night (to make it feel Christmassy and to just be with people) I've had day after day for weeks now with nobody at all to talk to. This time of year especially it's really depressing. Old friends that live far away are gradually losing contact with me - I ring them but they don't ring me. I understand they're busy with their live elsewhere but still it's hard when you're lonely. I'm going to a Christmas Eve service at the local church tomorrow night to at least be with people for a little while... but otherwise all day I'm alone, just me and the dog. Sometimes I strike up a conversation on BB but then the other person disappears and that's the end of that...

How are people meant to cope with prolonged periods of social isolation? I read, I watch DVDs, normally I'd go for long walks with the dog but thick smoke from bushfires and intense hot weather have stopped that. I go to a café alone sometimes. Any ideas/help?

[Paw Prints]

Hi Hanna3,

Oh dear indeed, your park chat doesn't make things sound too promising. Especially her running a pub & still having issues. Though fingers crossed she may be only talking about people her age, hopefully when things start to cool down the older folk will be out & about more, we tend to be more willing to say hello & chat.

Good on you feeding the wildlife, it must be so hard for them with the drought & fires. Wow if they are going through all that food you must have a lot of possums there. I dread to think how noisy it must get with them clumping over your roof at night. Does Sam cope well with them? Woofa is scared of possums, he was bailed up by a mother possum hissing at him as a puppy.

I envy you being musical, I have two left feet & couldn't hold a tune if my life depended on it. The mystery of making music may be beyond me but I love listening to it. Lucky I don't have neighbours nearby & Woofa is tone deaf as I've been "singing" along with the traditional Welsh male voice choir I've been listening to lately.

I hope the cool change makes it as far as your place & drops the temp there. It has plummeted here from 37 down to 15, you would probably think 37 cool after what you have been having, but it's high for here.

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws, I'm up late as it's still too hot to sleep. I was hoping you were safe in Victoria and not anywhere near the fires there...

Interestingly I've found the older people here much less friendly than the younger ones - I think they have lived here all their lives and already have their social circle and don't like people they don't know. No it wasn't an encouraging conversation but at least now I know why people aren't saying hello back to me as we go past... a bit sad isn't it? Think I'm going to be looking for a smaller town if at all possible...

So glad you are enjoying a Welsh choir! Would you believe I used to belong to a Welsh choir when living in the city - I joined because I thought it would be fun to learn some Welsh. So now I can sing in Welsh but I can't talk in it... I always sing along with the Welsh National Anthem on YouTube, it's so lovely!

I only thought last night when I was watching the local resident possum foraging around that with everything so dry it must be hard for the poor thing to find food, so today at the supermarket I got some carrots and bananas and just a couple of apples and grapes - I can't afford too much - but I put them out tonight and they were sniffed out almost immediately.

Yes I don't want them in my roof but so far haven't had that problem - more likely in winter I think, it's too hot now... Sam wants to chase them so I kept him indoors while I watched them take the food I left. I thought there was only one but tonight I saw two. When I went out with a bit more fruit one came walking up nearly to me to take the grapes. I think the poor things must be desperately hungry and thirsty. The drought is so dreadful it feels good to be helping some poor creature to stay alive. I guess he/she had quite a feast tonight!

Glad to hear you are safe I did wonder today about you.

[Doolhof]

Hi Hanna and Paws and all reading along,

Hanna, is there any chance you could pop in to the pub the dog walking lady owns and ask if you could possibly sit there for a while with Sam when it is so hot. You will only know the answer if you ask.

If your town is becoming a refuge, people will no doubt be bringing pets. There might be some kind of opportunity to join people there as they too will be seeking shelter from the heat. Maybe a footy room or something with air conditioning will be made available.

Can you ask at the supermarket if they have bags of vegetable scraps? I used to buy bags for the chooks. The pub may also have vegetable scraps you could feed the possums.

The book I read was called "Sky Burial" an epic love story of Tibet by Xinran. I have finally found this type of book in the local library, about people's travels and lives in the section numbered approx. from 944.00 to 950.00. In the last library I visited they were in a different section.

I'm not good at asking for help so had missed out reading this style of book for a while now.

When I first arrived here, I attended a Church with mainly older people attending. I was asked if I would like to join their little choir. I told them I would only do that if everyone in Church turned their hearing aids off! I love to sing when no one can hear! Ha. Ha.

Hanna have you asked the local electrical stores about possible cooling options? I am sure you have, there must be something that doesn't cost the earth that you could use.

I seem to recall seeing someone on the internet had placed a tray of ice in front of a fan to add a cooling effect. Maybe you could Google low cost cooling ideas.

Hope you find some friendly faces in town and find ways to keep cool.

Regards to you both and all reading, from Dools

[Hanna3]

Hi Dools, thanks for the book details I just looked up the local library and they have it! I've put a reserve on it as the library is due to close in 20 minutes (they close early on a Sunday). So thanks for that! I enjoy that kind of book too.

That's a good point about the refuge centre, if they allow pets I'll take Sam there to get cool once it opens up. It's still nearly 38 here now! Due to cool down about 5pm and tomorrow before heating up again, at least we might sleep better tonight! Great idea about the vegetable scraps I didn't know about that so I'll ask next time I'm at the supermarket. Went down today and got a couple more ripe bananas and a couple of apples for the possum tonight - and carrots are only $2 for a bag so got those. Am trying to think of things that give the possum some moisture as well as food.

I have a friend in a weatherboard house in central Queensland, without aircon she is nearly demented, she is about to get a cooler from Bunnings that goes out one window and will cool down one room - if it works it might be worth the money although it's still not cheap. I've tried ice in front of the fan but it doesn't seem to do anything, and by mid afternoon the fans just blow hot air. I bought some dog shampoo in the shops this morning and am going to give Sam a proper bath and wash down later which I hope will make him feel better at least for a while.

It's very smoky here and the house is stuffy but I'm looking at the TV and the poor people in Eden who are exhausted and scared and feel fortunate I am not there. I do get upset for people and animals and the loss of so much beautiful habitat....

I hadn't though of asking that lady about the pub, it's well known here but she said it's mostly a pub for the young people here - still I suppose I could go in one evening and ask, although I feel a bit awkward about it.

I am counting down the weeks until March begins, which (all being normal!!??) should bring a rapid fall in temperatures here...

Hope everyone is doing OK, Hi Paws too, hope you're OK there! Thanks Dools for a few great suggestions!

[Hanna3]

I reckon you underestimate your singing ability Dools - most people can sing better than they think they can... and choirs are always glad to have another man join them, they're overwhelmingly women!

When I belonged to a big choir in the city I asked a lovely young guy what made him join the choir. He said he joined it simply to meet women - because choirs were full of nice girls! It was probably not a bad idea!

[blondguy]

Hi Hanna and Happy New Year and all the best for a peaceful 2020 🙂

To answer your question...yes...I have spent many days alone without anyone to talk to and it can be a pain or a blessing....I guess it depends on how we are at the time

I had an excellent GP that asked me if I was happy being alone.....and I replied....most of the time yes! Just for me its those 'other' times that are lonely and feel isolated

I live with my Chow Chow German shepherd cross rescue dog....He is a horse...circa 60kilos yet I seem to have some bogans in the neighborhood who walk their dogs off the leash and always try to attack my dog...so I dont walk him anymore

It can be rocky road sometimes Hanna...I understand where you are coming from

Paul

[Doolhof]

Hi Hanna,

I had a little giggle at your reply, I am actually a female, not sure if your reply about males in a choir was in relation to me being a bloke.

With everyone being anonymous on this forum, it can be hard to know what gender people are.

My singing is not that good! I have continuous sinus issues so choke all the time and croak when I try to sing or loose my voice altogether.

Hope you are doing okay.

Cheers from Mrs. Dools

[Hanna3]

Hi blondguy, thank for posting. I guess I've been alone here for over three months due to having flu then dust/smoke so we couldn't go out then heatwaves, plus Christmas and New Year meaning every group and activity stops for weeks... so it's been a bit too long for me. Still I've resigned myself to it for the time being and just getting through the extreme heat and awful fires, so have stopped "fighting" it which actually helps mentally - just accepting I need to rest as much as possible during the extreme heat, and that things are lonely for some time.

Yes we have plenty of bogans here too that leave huge dogs off the lead and my little mutt looks like a snack to them - it can be really frightening. Particularly as my little guy has decided maybe it's safest to attack first (he feels threatened) which is really dumb when you're little and the other dog is HUGE. So we are very careful!

We had a blissful cool change last night it was wonderful to be able to sleep! Both Sam and I very tired from weeks of not being able to sleep from the heat. Cooling up again during the week unfortunately. I hope everyone is managing OK.

[Paw Prints]

Hi Hanna3,

So glad to hear the cool change has reached you. I hope it lasts a few days for you & you get some rain with it. We've had no rain here, but after a hazy day today the fog started rolling in about 6pm & visibility is down to a few metres now.

I fell in love with Welsh singing when in Wales about 40 years ago on holiday. I spent the holiday driving around staying in small places & meeting the locals. I stayed in a small pub in the black mountains area, the locals tried teaching me some welsh phrases (to much laughter) & a small group of about 8 or 9 men sang some Welsh folk tunes & the national anthem. They were just the local farmers but it was beautiful to hear.

I think Dools suggestion of seeing if you could take Sam into the pub is a great idea. Especially during the week when it wouldn't be as busy.

Your idea to help your local wildlife had me browsing the net. So many pages had "don't feed wildlife" which I think is ridiculous in these conditions.

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws! Your trip to Wales sounds absolutely lovely. When I was in the Welsh choir one of the young women had travelled through Wales with her mother, staying at small towns, and she said in every town they went to the evening choir rehearsals - all the men of the town turned up. She said they were made very welcome and loved listening to the singing everywhere they went at no cost!

I was only in Wales for a few days long ago, but I remember how green and lovely it was.

Welsh is a difficult language to learn! I did know a dentist and his wife who spoke it fluently - they had deliberately moved from London to a small Welsh village where everybody spoke Welsh so he said they had had to learn it. I was quite envious as they were perfectly fluent in it.

We had a couple of millimetres of rain I'd say from a storm this morning, now the sun is coming out hot and sunny, due to get into the 40s again in a couple of days, oh no!!! I've found both I and Sam are very tired, I try to have a good rest every day, the prolonged heat has made both of us rather listless and more heat to come...

I understand not feeding wildlife except we are in such a terrible drought there is no moisture in the leaves if any still exist - most trees have lost their leaves entirely and are now bare. I'm not sure if they are dead or trying to conserve energy. I left out a bit more fruit last night - carrot, ripe banana, apple - and saw the possum happily munching on it during the evening. I think under these extreme conditions it's doesn't hurt to help some of the wildlife stay alive. My birdbath attracts so many birds I have to fill it over and over so they clearly are thankful for the water!

How's the doggie? It sounds less hot where you are? I am counting down how many weeks until March and hopefully, Autumn! It's dull here - I took Sam for a walk this morning and had a cuppa out just for something to do, but without company and the hot sun out now, you just have to hunker down at home. It's a bit lonely and dreary so it's nice to have your messages, thanks so much! What are you up to, anything interesting? Cheers from Sam and me!