Anyone had to spend days alone without anyone to talk to?

[Hanna3]

Hi all, apart from here and a brief visit to church last night (to make it feel Christmassy and to just be with people) I've had day after day for weeks now with nobody at all to talk to. This time of year especially it's really depressing. Old friends that live far away are gradually losing contact with me - I ring them but they don't ring me. I understand they're busy with their live elsewhere but still it's hard when you're lonely. I'm going to a Christmas Eve service at the local church tomorrow night to at least be with people for a little while... but otherwise all day I'm alone, just me and the dog. Sometimes I strike up a conversation on BB but then the other person disappears and that's the end of that...

How are people meant to cope with prolonged periods of social isolation? I read, I watch DVDs, normally I'd go for long walks with the dog but thick smoke from bushfires and intense hot weather have stopped that. I go to a café alone sometimes. Any ideas/help?

[Paw Prints]

Hi Hanna3,

Before moving here I lived in a fibro house with no air con, so I really feel for you. I found my bathroom was always the coolest, I would tack an old beach towel over the window outside to stop the sun hitting the glass, put a chair in there, put my feet up on a cushion on the bath edge, wet myself under the shower, have the fan blowing in over me & spend the day reading. Living alone has some benefits, our dogs don't tell tales about how daft we look.

Paws

[Hanna3]

Ha! Love it thanks for that delightful picture Paws! Actually Sam and I ended up spread out on the kitchen floor munching on ice cubes... The kitchen floor seems to be our coolest spot.

I was just in the Café describing the delightful evening we are having here listening to the soothing sound of circling helicopters searching for spot fires - the fire is about 20 minutes out of town now. I figure if the house burns down Housing has to move me, which solves my problem really - so I sat out on the porch tonight watching the show... Would be different if it was my house but under the circumstances it's almost the perfect solution...

What a week we are in for here. Pats to your dog - what's his/her name again? I'm looking out my windows waiting to see the red glow of bushfires... delightful.

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello

How's things? I've been a bit absent from here, but thought I'd check in and see how you and Sam are going. I see Paws has been giving you some great advice re: Sam's anxiety. Poor little thing. Staffies are typically anxious prone, but Stormy is pretty good. I'm not sure if that's due to when I got her, I already had another dog (now passed) and my cats, and she just took cues off them. Does Sam do any 'tricks'? I've taught Stormy so many things, just for fun. She's a really quick learner. They say learning is just as tiring as a physical workout, so sometimes when it's too hot to get out and about, we do some trick training for a change. Sometimes I set up an agility course indoors and we do that too lol. Stormy loves it 🙂

I've been spending a bit of time tidying up my garden. I really got stuck into the weeding yesterday and tidying up and moving pot plants around. It was quite satisfying and I slept well last night! In response to your question about the book I was considering buying - it was Too Much Lip by Melissa Lucashenko. I might grab it next pay day. I see you're an avid reader and have been making recommendations. I'll have to note them down and have a squiz next time I'm at the library. How are you going with The Bridge?

Katy

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy, nice to hear from you! The heat here is unrelenting, I had to go to the shops this morning and leave Sam alone - too hot to take him in the car. Yes he does tricks and two of his favourite games are when I hide treats around the house and he has to sniff them out (very exciting apparently!) and another where you put treats inside a plastic bowl but wrapped up in dishcloths, teatowels, etc, pile them up inside the bowl, he has to work out how to get the towels etc out of the bowl, shake them open and find the treats. I got this off the www and it's great.

No gardening here and we're hitting the low 40s going higher every day so it's pretty awful without aircon or any insultation in a fibro house. Am wondering what to do about it... can't afford a portable aircon.

Am loving The Bridge but need volume 2 of the DVD set and it's out on loan from the library until after New Year, rats! So I'm watching The Killing now. Just love Scandi Noir!

I had better give Sam some attention he's been stuck inside too hot to even go to the park today. Hope we can get out in the early evening for a little while.

I haven't read the book you mention but by all means try any of the ones I've suggested - it's always hard to know what appeals to another person, so I tried to put a fairly wide range on the list for Birdy. Take care!

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna3,

We all find the sound of helicopters circling very soothing - not. How are you managing to sleep with all the activity? Is the fire still coming closer or have the winds changed & spared the town? Love that you're sharing the floor & ice cubes with Sam, these days I would need something easier to get up from.

The Scandinavian's do crime drama really well don't they. Though I haven't watched any of the recent stuff, Wallander (both versions) was the last series I watched.

I call my dog Woofa here on BB, I do realise that not being comfortable using his real name is mostly just my paranoia, but as it doesn't detrimentally affect my life I will keep doing so & save my energy for trying to change things that do matter as per my Psych's advice.

No gardening here either, far too hot. I really need to mow, the paddock & front aren't too bad, but the back where it gets shade is shooting up as I watch It. I'm still trying to plan out my gardens. I have already removed a number of hideous plants the previous owners had planted, still more to go & I want to relocate the nice ones to make it all easier maintenance. I also want to plant some things I like, but will have to be mindful of bush fire risk so any trees will need to be away from the house.

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws, sorry I didn't see your reply until now... yes it's hard to sleep the nights are so hot I tend to stay up until the early hours of the morning - the fans just blow hot air. Today is a shocker, had to leave Sam at home while I went to the shopping centre to get into aircon - I finally succumbed to bad heat exhaustion yesterday and couldn't keep my balance, felt very sick, so today is extremely hot and I've had to go into aircon at the shops because if I get sick there is nobody to look after Sam.

Left him at home with ice cold water and the fan on, have come home for a while now he seems OK..

No garden or lawns left here everything is dying, we're on extreme water restrictions and the heat has finally finished off most things. It's really sad.

Am loving the Scandi Noir stuff, Borgen, The Killing, The Bridge etc. Yes Wallander was good!

I'm going back to stay in the aircon for a while, poor Sam has to stay in all day, hope to take him to the park about 5pm, they have New Year's stuff in there so he might enjoy watching the crowds. Am sorry I don't have any friends here yet to spend it with.

It's a bit sad that neither of my two friends here who have aircon have not thought to check on me, nor do the neighbours although they run their aircons non-stop all day. People don't seem to have much of a sense of community any more or is it just here?

I hope you are doing well and your doggie - in the shops they had military guys demonstrating Labradors trained to help returned soldiers with PTSD - they demonstrated how if I showed any sign of anxiety the dog was trained to lean against me for comfort. Wonderful stuff!

I hope you are having a not too hot and unpleasant New Year - very windy and hot here. Glad the fire near us seems to have been contained but I'm sorry for people down the south coast and Victoria. Take care and best wishes for 2020!

[Paw Prints]

Hi Hanna3,

Take care with the heat exhaustion, it's even more dangerous for those of us living alone. It's good to hear you are going to where there is air con & I'm sure you are keeping the fluids up.

I hope the cool change which has been crossing has made it as far as your town in time for your NYE. It came through here late yesterday, so a lot cooler today. Glad to hear the fire near you is contained, I hope that means less smoke. Thankfully I'm not in any of the drought area's, the only down side is that there has been a lot of growth that will dry out as summer hits.

I agree it's disappointing that your neighbours & especially your friends haven't checked up on you or even invited you over to theirs. I think a sense of community isn't as "just how it is" as it once was, especially in the towns. It does exist here, but I think that is because this is still a small farming community.

Those PTSD support dogs are wonderful aren't they. I'm a supporter of a charity called "Whiskeys Wish" which supports veterans in getting & training their own support dog to accreditation standard. It's amazing how the dogs can identify things that may trigger their handler and how they can calm their human just by being there. Training their own dog also helps the veterans sense of self worth.

Woofa & I are having a wild NYE. I'm on the couch with a cuppa & bickies & he let his fur down and had a liver treat before stretching out on his bed.

Enjoy your outing to the park with Sam for the NY celebrations. Wishing you the best for 2020.

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws, I had a chuckle when I read that Woofa's let his fur down by having a liver treat! Sounds like your NYEve is about as exciting as mine - but it's still so hot I am using cold packs and wet towels and spritzing Sam down with a plastic spray bottle. No cool change here we go into the mid-40's by the weekend and I am seriously thinking of booking into a dog friendly motel here for one day and night of being cool and able to sleep!!!

Yes I think this town has got too big and that a smaller place is better as far as a feeling of community goes (although I guess the downside is that everyone know your business). I'll be spending tomorrow afternoon in the shopping mall as we hit the 40s yet again...

I grew up in a suburb of Sydney in the days when it was like growing up in a country village, we had cows grazing across the road, a chook farm down the street, I road a friend's pony around the streets, and everyone knew everybody (which meant we kids couldn't get up to much without someone informing our mother...) but at least nobody was left isolated. I have found it disappointing that the neighbours on each side have their aircons revving all day and night but don't check on me and Sam stuck in a fibro without insulation or aircon... I could drop dead and they wouldn't know. I went to the shops today because I knew if I had to go to hospital there was nobody to mind Sam, so I had to take care of myself first.

Hardly anyone is in the BB Café these days, I was hoping it would be a good place to chat but it's mostly pretty empty.

The fires today on TV have been horrific.

There was a New Year's Eve music show on in the park tonight for the town, but with nobody to go with I didn't feel like taking a picnic dinner and just sitting with Sam... everyone is in their family groups etc.

Do you find people tend to know your business in a small town Paws or do you find it pleasant? Sam's groomer was in a very small town about 40 minutes from here (she's just moved to Queensland, darn, she was really nice) and while I was waiting I mooched around the town and I really noticed how friendly the locals seemed to be. The groomer had moved there from the city and said the people were really friendly, but she had a young son so maybe that makes it easier. How do you find where you are? Happy 2020 anyway to you and Woofa from me and Sam!

[Paw Prints]

Hi Hanna,

I find activity in the BB cafe comes & goes in waves. Sounds like we grew up in similar surrounds. I grew up on the outskirts of Melbourne, every one knew everyone, you could leave an order at the local butcher who would deliver your meat & leave it in your fridge with the change on the table if you were out. No one locked doors. There was a local dairy that got it's milk from the surrounding farms & delivered it each morning by horse & cart.

I've found the locals here very friendly but not overbearing. I was invited to join many local groups when I first arrived, thankfully no-one was offended when I declined. (I struggle in groups of strangers with my mh I'm too likely to breakdown). Originally people I met at the general store would greet me with either "oh you're the lady with the fence" (I had the back of the property fenced 8 ft high to keep woofa in, I don't want him being shot for worrying stock.) or "you have the big dog, I see him driving around". Everyone seems to know his name, they are still learning mine.

I realise an air con is out of your price range but could you afford a smallish evaporative cooler, just thinking it would cost about the same as a motel room, but would last longer. Kmart has a 10 litre for $79. I have an 8 litre one in my bedroom & it is big enough to make sleeping bearable.

Its nearly midnight

Happy New Year

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws, it's really interesting to hear about where you grew up and where you are now. It's 11.30 here now and I am just out of bed (couldn't sleep from the heat) and we have strong winds and intense heat here now, so I'm going to get out to the shopping mall to get in aircon for a while as they'll close early today being New Year's Day, and I'll get Sammy settled first in the cement floored laundry with a fan and ice water... so I'll reply properly later today, probably this evening as it's unbelievable hot now... I understand completely what you mean about being not OK in crowds of strangers etc I struggle with that too. My brother lives in Melbourne, but I don't know where he is now (he doesn't let me know his address we're not a close family). So will be back in touch! Take care today... poor Sam is having long hot boring days... back later on!