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Anyone had to spend days alone without anyone to talk to?

Hanna3
Community Member

Hi all, apart from here and a brief visit to church last night (to make it feel Christmassy and to just be with people) I've had day after day for weeks now with nobody at all to talk to. This time of year especially it's really depressing. Old friends that live far away are gradually losing contact with me - I ring them but they don't ring me. I understand they're busy with their live elsewhere but still it's hard when you're lonely. I'm going to a Christmas Eve service at the local church tomorrow night to at least be with people for a little while... but otherwise all day I'm alone, just me and the dog. Sometimes I strike up a conversation on BB but then the other person disappears and that's the end of that...

How are people meant to cope with prolonged periods of social isolation? I read, I watch DVDs, normally I'd go for long walks with the dog but thick smoke from bushfires and intense hot weather have stopped that. I go to a café alone sometimes. Any ideas/help?

3,070 Replies 3,070

Doolhof
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Hanna,

Sorry to read you were given a parking ticket! Some streets are so very narrow. If cars park on either side there is no room for any traffic to get through at all. It does seem in some areas planning was not at all considered. How do emergency vehicles get through if people park on the road!

Hope you are able to get this ticket considered.

I also hope the dogs at the bark calm down. If not, would you consider contacting the council? They will have dog laws. Maybe in time the dogs will settle down.

Did the rain arrive? In our region it is so dry we have forgotten what rain is. It is the same in so much of the country. Is it any cooler there or just humid now?

Cheers from Dools

Hi Lady Nova,

Yes, loneliness does seem to be quite prominent in many people's responses and posts here. It can be hard to make and keep friends.

I joined a group in a small town close to us. There was some kind of an argument one day when I was not present and now the group has separated with the original ladies having their own group and the more recent new comers meeting on a different day. It seems ridiculous.

I also find it amusing when I suggest telephoning someone and they tell me to just text them. I even heard one lady say "Why are they trying to call me, why don't they just send a message. That is what mobile phones are for!"

Sorry to read about your friend with breast cancer. Are you able to support her in some way?

There must be so many lonely people out there. If only there were ways to connect and make this world seem less unfriendly.

Cheers to you from Dools

I am very much supporting her. We had her staying here for a fortnight since NYE so that she had people around her during all the fires and chaos. I have been cooking bland food for her as she cannot tolerate a lot and spices and she is in such a state that cooking is the last thing on her mind. While she was in hospital, and then staying with a retired nurse friend for her recovery, my eldest was feeding and caring for her dog, chooks, birds and fish. Since she lost her partner just over a year ago we have been including her in our family DnD nights and she is HOOKED. I currently have her car on loan and any time she needs to get somewhere I drive her.
I am doing everything I can to stave off any feelings of isolation, fear or loneliness.

Hanna3
Community Member

Hi Dools,

Yes I'm having a bad day today with the parking fine (I'm on a pension), the prospect of trying a new GP this afternoon, and having to go to a book club for the first time later today as well. I'm a bit stress overloaded!

We did get some rain finally in the early hours of the morning, now it's very humid. I hope we get more everything here is dying. It felt strange to hear rain again after so long.

I think the couple behind me who own the dogs are trying to calm them down, I understand it can be difficult with dogs in a new home so I'm trying to give them time to settle them. They're certainly annoying and my little fellow doesn't help by enjoying baiting them by hanging around the fence huffing and puffing - although he's just posturing and doesn't bark at all.

So nice to hear from you. I've been wondering where Birdy is, I think she's been caught up in the bushfires I'll try and look her up here later today. Are you keeping OK Dools? Thanks for the kind post. I'm going to go now and have a look at the street where my friend's house is so I can write a request for leniency to the Revenue Dept.

It's just frustrating when you know it's the council making money - I looked it up and the offence used to be about $114 they put it up to $268 this year - that's a huge jump! Take care Dools and thanks for posting!

Hi Hanna

I've been a bit absent. How did you go with your new gp? And with book club? I hope it all went well.

Katy

Paw Prints
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello Hanna,

$268 is outrageous, you weren't blocking emergency vehicles for pity sake. I've been trying to think of a positive "parking ticket" outcome for you. They do sometimes rescind them, maybe if you go in person to the council offices & explain you had checked there was enough space for people to pass you might be lucky & get someone kind who will cancel it for you. Otherwise you can ask to pay it off rather than trying to find it all at once.

How did you go with the new GP, hopefully she was more understanding than the last one & has put your meds back up. With everything your dealing with at present, you really need a GP you can feel comfortable with to talk to.

Did you end up going to the book club or was it one thing too many after the day you've had.

Rain - nice, humidity - awful. I'll keep fingers & paws crossed that the decent rain fall forecast for the next week settles over your place & cools everything down.

I had to chuckle poor Sam being described as an entree. What is it with dogs not knowing their own size. Almost all the little dogs we encounter want to have a go at Woofa, even when his head is bigger than they are.

Hugs

Paws

sometimes dogs have an inflated sense of wolf

Hanna3
Community Member

Hi Dools, what on earth did people have an argument about that made them separate into two groups like that? We are talking about adults I take it? Gracious.

Oooh I can so relate about the texting instead of talking to someone. I had a lady I met here one day who lives in another town text me virtually non-stop all day recently - I finally suggested to her (via text) that we actually speak to each other (as in have a conversation how unusual!). Well 25 texts later she was still hysterical about the idea saying she didn't have time to chat for 10 minutes (but had time to text for hours). I don't get it, I like to actually converse with people?

I think heaps of people are lonely and it gets harder to make friends once you're older and not working. I think it's also hard if you're single. At my age you don't fit in with most women my age unless you have children and grandchildren. And my old friends have scattered far and wide as they retired - some to Queensland, some to northern NSW, some to Tasmania. Makes it harder when the long term friendships are now long distance as well... after a while you do lose touch.

Hanna3
Community Member

Hi Paws, Hi Katy, Hi Lady Nova & anyone else!

I went onto the NSW Revenue website you can request leniency for a fine. I spent ages today filling in online pages of details before finding you had only 1000 characters to explain why you should be given leniency and a caution instead of the fine.

They had taken four photographs of my car from different angles. You could see I'd parked with plenty of room behind my car not to block pedestrians walking by. Anyway I did my best explaining that the driveway is too steep & narrow with trees on each side for me to reverse into our out of without someone directing me and I was alone, that I felt the street is too narrow to be safe parking there as cars passing are forced onto the wrong side of the road (they had a picture of a car parked on the road and you could see how narrow the road was) & it's a busy street and that I had 47 years of an unblemished driving record and requested a caution please. So now I wait and see but I'm not too hopeful.

Today there were cars parked all over driveways and the nature strip in the street, for the same reason as me - the road is too narrow for cars to pass safely. Wonder if they all got booked like me?

Yep went to the book club, small but friendly group It was rather nice to actually talk to other human beings for a while...

New GP unimpressive - a moderate improvement on the last two but no help increasing my meds in fact she cut back on my anti-inflammatory medication which will probably have me in agony - I have a neurological condition in my hands and feet and it can be terribly painful. What do these doctors have against drugs, some are actually really useful? She wasn't abusive but none of the GPs here seem to be friendly, and only 10 minutes per consultation allowed. So I figure she'll have to do while I continue to shop around for someone better. They are making my GP back in Small Coastal Town look like an absolute jewel! At least he always pleasant...

Yes little Sam forgets he's barely a snack for a big dog. I think they do bring out his inner wolf! Today no rain but much cooler, took Sam for a really good walk this afternoon. When Sam is happy walking he really does get a smile on his face, lots of people remark on it. So we passed by one young woman who stopped and said "Oh that's the nicest smile I've seen all day, that's made my day!" and I said is he smiling? And she said yes it's georgeous. So that was nice it made her happy.

Cheers to all!

Lady_Nova
Community Member
Having to call someone sends me into a spin also. I have extreme anxiety using a phone