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Alone..Depressed..Sad..

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion
Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..
5,671 Replies 5,671

demonblaster
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hiya dear Grandy πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ‘© HannahπŸ• Pawsy 🐾 and all πŸ‘‹

Dear lady so happy you had some quality time with your lovely brother. Shame it wasn't a longer visit, maybe next time when he's finished settling in fully. I too feel very grateful to your dear brother ahh Grandy πŸ˜”πŸ€—πŸ’œ. It's awful feeling so empty and alone like that sweetyheart. My πŸ’—2U.

Good hearing works ok. It'd be so much better now without friction no one needs eh. And that's how it should be people doing what they're there for. Be be easier going there now.

How beautiful you are hun taking in that dear sounding Pepper. Loven they seem to all get on well. Is he trained lovey?

You're so gorgeous popping into mine thank you for always a lovely visit. I'll be back lovey soonish ☺

You do incredibly well with the lawns darl that's a mammoth job as you well know. I'd love you to do it over at least a couple of days but also understand it's a big job out the way and I guess if it was staggered you'd have varying lengths of grass growing πŸ˜„ it's that I worry about your heart and rest of physical health but then I guess it's activity that they say movement in exercise is good for us. How's the bursitis going hun? Apparently in time it settles but being in the hip with any movement that'd be pretty hard not to I'd imagine constantly aggravating it. It's a big ouch

Ok my lovely hoping to finally finish my passwords today or could that be sometime in the future, πŸ˜… nah need to finish them tho SO much easier already, big relief. Then I can put more effort into other Projects,

Hope today you have some 🌞 and can dig up some beautiful memories to make you feel good and enjoy some smiles my gorjy ☺

Grandy Mr gorgeous 😍 and I were having a squiz in a cheapy shop yesterday. From as long as I remember I've always been excuse the pun πŸ˜‰ drawn to pens pencils felt pens blank paper etc and of course crafty glitters. Not that I need reminders to think of you but you were so strongly in my thoughts looking at all the glittery stuff I even imagined saying to you oh look at those like I was to my darling too. Really love you Grandy you're daily in my thoughts multiple times. Absolute truth.

So much peace & security having our beautiful friendship huns πŸ’œ

Aydimh sweet lady. You're never alone sweet cause we're always together even tho virtually it still feels as real as it can be.

Have a lovely day precious love and everyone we all deserve goods.

πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ‘©πŸ’œπŸ‘€πŸ€πŸ‘‚πŸ’—

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Dear DeebiπŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ’‹β€πŸ‘©, Paws, Hanna, mmMeKitty and all πŸ€—.

My brother has arrived home safely...and settling in to his new home....I miss him and I know I shouldn’t be...I feel annoyed that he moved so far away...

My new little fur girl..Peppa (I changed the spelling)...is a handful and a half....I’ve lost 2 cushions and a door stop...I have to learn to say no....I never think of the consequences first....Kya and Ebony are a little afraid of her...if that doesn’t change soon...I really will think about re homing her somewhere....She is cute and I feel safer with a bigger dog...but don’t want my other dogs to get anxiety over her....

We have a meeting after work on Tuesday, with the area boss....not wanting to go to that, but as I will be working that day...I have no choice...

Oh really Deebi...I love pens and have quite a few in my small collection...Mostly just different designs and shapes on the part we hold...I wish I was their with you bbff...we would have had fun...

I tried those dried soup veggies tonight..I rinsed them, soaked them overnight..then rinsed them again..added them to a chicken I was boiling for the soup...then cooked them so long they turned to mush...Great cooking Grandy! not!...

Ever had days when things just don’t right...Today and yesterday are 2 of those days...Tomorrow is another day..sure hope it’s better then these past couple of days...I haven’t been sleeping much lately...My silly brain won’t let me go to bed...sometimes I get a fear of my bed...I can’t get past...it’s a real fear....like a feeling of impending doom...so until it passes..I sleep on the lounge which isn’t comfortable at all....and does aggravate my hip a lot...

I will pogo stick over to yours either tonight or tomorrow my bbff.... Much big sss love my dearest friend..πŸ’™πŸ¦„πŸ‘ΌπŸ¦‹πŸ•Š..with a bear 🧸 hug πŸ€— or two...

My love, care and hugs to everyone..πŸ’œπŸŒΉπŸ¦‹πŸ€—..

πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ’‹β€πŸ‘©Grandy πŸ•ŠπŸŒ±πŸŒΏπŸŒ³..

Paw Prints
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello Grandy, wave to all,

It's ok not to be happy about your brother moving away... I only moved 3 hours away from my sisters & they are still not happy that I've moved so far... even though it has been over 5 years now.

I usually cook those dried soup veggies until they are mushy... they make a nice thick filling soup that way... that's my excuse anyway πŸ˜‰πŸ˜†

Puppies do like destroying things don't they... I don't think I could do coping with the puppy phase again... given your girls are ok with Mrs nsc's dogs (including the big one) I hope they do settle with Peppa despite her mischief.

Oh lass I'm sorry you're not sleeping well at the moment... it's horrible when our mind has a mind of it's own... mine often won't let me go to bed while it's dark... the fear is very real... it's frustrating isn't it.

Woofa & I will keep our paws & fingers crossed that tomorrow is a better day for you

Huggliest of hugs

Paws

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Dear Paws, Waves to DeebiπŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ’‹β€πŸ‘©, Hanna mmMeKitty πŸ€—..

Thank you Paws...I don’t feel to bad now about the dried soup veggies being so mushy...maybe me soup wasn’t the same texture as I normally cook...but it sure tasted okay...

Peppa keeps me busy, very busy...I forgot how much extra work is involved with puppies....although she is 12 months old not that young, so I really hope she settles down after a while....

I haven’t said anything to Mrs nsc..about Peppa...of course she has seen her running around my backyard....I know she will have something to say about her...so I’m keeping away from her....

Ive had this problem with my bed on and off for a few years now.....it’s where some of my trauma took place...I do have another bed in my spare room....I have thought about swapping them around...needs muscles πŸ’ͺ to do that though...(which I don’t have)...

Today, that goodness seems to be a better day....I might try to do something today, if I can get my motivation up and running....

Keep warm Paws, it’s snowing close by me and the winds coming from the snow is icy...

Hugs everyone with my love and care..πŸ€—πŸ’œπŸŒΉ.

πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ’‹β€πŸ‘©Grandy

Hanna3
Community Member

Hi Grandy and everyone,

I think a one year old dog can still be very full of energy! I think her breed adds to that... does she go out for walks with you/play with the other dogs you have? I don't know what sort of abuse she suffered, do you know what happened? Perhaps this has upset her and affected her behavour?

I'm not qualified to advise you what to do... I wonder can you see how she and your other doggies settle down over a few more days, and depending on that, and how you are then feeling, either decide to keep her or hand her over to the RSPCA.... or wherever you decide. You can only do your best, and if it doesn't work out, at least you know you have tried.

Another dog is a fair bit of work for you. I am thinking of a cat, and I know that is more work for me...

It's going to be very cold over the next few days... I had to buy myself an extra warm jumper today, the ones I had weren't warm enough - funnily enough the warmest one was at Kmart, who would have thought?

Sam loves this weather and especially the autumn leaves, so he loves running along through the park!

Keep warm. As people here are saying, in this climate we do have to have some hearing on when it's bitterly cold. hugs from us here to you oxoxoxoxox

Hey my Gorjy Grandy πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ‘© and all πŸ‘‹

I'm replying today to you here sweety love, started yesterday ... got one sentence done πŸ˜„

SOOOOO as the story goes it seems when I finally finished a post for mine I landed in Goose St and posted here.

I'm almost past being 😢 but... nah πŸ˜† about it. Hey that's I think a first amidst my many oops's so there's an achievement πŸ˜…

Have reported and hopefully it'll land in the right place. Soz sweetyheart πŸ€— Secretly I was just saving you going to mine...nah just muckin.

So I'll see you here later todays the plan to chat Mrs gorgeous 😚

Hope todays a gooden dearest friend πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ‘©πŸ’œ and for all you deserving other lovelies.

Teerah...runs off trying to hold πŸ™ƒπŸ€• head high πŸƒπŸΌβ€β™€οΈ

Soz sweety πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ‘© that's supposed to be posted at mine. Oops πŸ˜„

Self reported

Hope you're ok darlin. See you tomoz sweetyheart πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ‘©πŸ’œπŸ’—

Tess2
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Dear Grandy,

i haven’t been by for a while, but I have been reading your posts.

i think you are coping really well at the moment. It must have been lovely to see your brother.

A new doggie, I think that sounds like fun, but having your older dogs be comfortable with her, is important, I understand that.

i am not in such a good place myself and struggle to get up and get things done. There doesn’t seem much point. My doggies are on my bed with me, keeping my feet warm. They are both pretty old now and I wonder how much longer I will have them. I will be very sad when their time here is up.

being afraid of your bed, is a worry, it is where I am most comfortable. I would perform some sort of cleansing ceremony, to move the past away. It might not work, but I’d give it a go. Swapping the beds is a good idea, you just need to recruit some muscle.

Is it very cold where you are? It is cold here, but sunny.

take care dear Grandy.

Thinking of you

Tess

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Hanna, DeebiπŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ’‹β€πŸ‘©, Tess Paws and everyone...πŸ€—...

Deebi....My home is your home as well dear bbff...please don’t be sorry about posting a post you meant for your thread onto mine instead....I said I would be over yours but haven’t been...sorry...but will soon...

Hanna, Because I work mon and tues my dogs are on their own....they have access to inside the house and full yard...Monday it was another cushion..that’s no 2 ..Today it was a rubber backed bath mat....That’s all okay, I know Peppa is having fun...and they are replaceable....my two fur babies are getting more and more comfortable with her...Oh no...I could never give her to the RSPCA...she is a survivor and I’ve already lost my heart to her...

Tess..thank you dear lady for calling in...It’s not good that your struggling so much....Is it okay dear friend if I pop over to yours so we can chat?...

The works meeting yesterday left me feeling so inadequate...mainly because like always I’m sitting near the door away from the group and even though I’m trying hard to listen...they were just jumbled up words coming out of the managers mouth....My brain is alway on high alert when I’m in a room with a group of people...when I was asked a few questions about what I think needs improvement in the shop...like always my mouth feels super glued shut, I can feel all eyes on me and when I do talk my voice starts to quiver....Gosh I hate this anxiety of mine....

We have a power outage for the entire morning until mid afternoon...out comes my little gas camp stove...hmm got to have my cuppa teas if I want to be field enough to attempt doing some cleaning today...

Deebi...again sorry I haven’t popped over to yours...big SSS love precious friend...πŸ’™πŸŒΉπŸ¦‹πŸ§ΈπŸ€—.. πŸ’­of you 24/7 with my care...πŸ§ΈπŸ€—

Much love, care and hugs everyone..πŸ’œπŸŒΉπŸ¦‹πŸ€—.

πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ’‹β€πŸ‘©Grandy.

Hanna3
Community Member

Hi Grandy and everyone

Sorry I haven't been here for a bit. My goodness hasn't the weather been cold lately!

It certainly sounds like Peppa is having fun at your place Grandy! I had to chuckle when I read what she's been up to with your cushions! I'm so glad to hear she is settling in OK, that's wonderful, you have an even bigger fur family now!

I know how you feel about groups, I'm no good at talking in groups either, I can totally relate to what you say. I just accept this is how I am, I'm not going to change much now... I do envy people who can be relaxed in groups - my mother was very harsh on me when I was out socially, so I blame my acute anxiety on that, and I know it's just how I am and I can't fix it now.

I have to dash to an appointment that has been moved earlier today, so sending big hugs from us here ooxxooo