Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[demonblaster]

Beeutiful Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi everyone ☺

I was going to post last night but thought too late so this morning but a couple of things happened, tell you at mine laters so anyway here we are dear sss.

Yip I think as dear Hannah said people, well good ones do very much like helping others esp good people.

Hard for you feeling that way.
Yip see your point if you can do it and big jobby the lawns crikey Grandz you wouldn't want one more blade of grass 🔫

Btw how are you going with the treacherous weeds. What a nightmare.
Hands on hips and how are you after that whopping job hymmm...tapping foot

Maybe explain what you have to us.
Along the lines of Croixy saying keep the door open for later if need be then she hope wouldn't feel rejected as in maybe sometime in the future could I take a raincheck. Talking of rain the forecasts another good solid reason.
I do get it hun ☺

No it's hard winning feeling guilt either way. You poor love.
In time with learning and practise honey you'll be able to handle beasties brats negatives.

It soothes my soul greatly hearing that you're ok. I know ok isn't great but hacking. A while back hun you wouldn't be.

I was saying back there a friend disagreed how often hard things get me in the downs of BP like in your sitch. She said they happen anyway but uncanny how often but then I have so many too like you

Major improves Grandy. I never doubt your abilities.

Yip you don't need to make your MH worse. The chances are because you trusted them they saw our beautiful Grandy that who wouldn't like/love. Their greed and deceitfulness doesn't mean they didnt like or care about you imo. Hope they feel like ...

Throughout this ordeal you've excelled. Don't doubt this livey. You did so well by yourself. It's new to you. Frightening no doubt and unsettling yes which does most people. Believe in yourself lady like we do darlin bbff 🤗

The lillies sound really beautiful. Love your description of the thingys ☺ me too when I can't word stuff. Might be Stamins.
That could be a 🌱new beginnings message to you from the universe ✨

Same to you gorgeous I really hope you got good beasty free zzz's and feel stronger. Takes time doesn't it but worth the effort

Darl howz your physical health?

Grandy I love 💜 respect and care so deeply for you my bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩. Don't ever want you hurting precious love. PubAok
Bpaly. 👭I wish so much swod 😢😚🤗

[Ggrand]

Dear Croix, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...and everyone...

Thank you for your valuable posts..

I wished so much that someone would just tell me what to do for tomorrow ..

I know no one can here....

Just stuck..

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy (waves to everyone)

It's awful feeling stuck and not knowing what to do!!! I guess your options are -

Go in for the meeting or just for a little while, if you feel uncomfortable just excuse yourself and leave.. maybe you can tell them when you arrive you are only able to stay for a little while as you have an appointment or something? So if you leave it's easier for you? But if you want to stay, pretend to go out and phone and change the "appointment"time?

Don't go in at all - how does the thought of this make you feel? Could you ring and delay going back to another week or would that make it harder?

Only you know what might be best for you dear lady... cuddle your fur babies there and go with your gut feeling whatever it is... maybe the people there will be glad to see you?

See how you feel in the morning? Whatever you decide, you will have the support of us all here. Fluffy hugs!

Decide never to go back - how much would you miss some of the people there that you have come to know?

[Croix]

Dear Grandy

You are thinking that Tuesday is a sort of deadline, and you either have to go or decide not to, and that is the end of the matter.

It's not. You may go and it might turn out well or bady, maybe it is too much of a riskt. Then again you may decide in a month when you have done the best you can on repairs that you feel anger -who can say.

Whatever try not to blame yourself with whatever you do, it is not of your making in the first place, and if it places you in an impossible situation it is simply a greater dishonesty, sin or wahtever you like to call it on their part. On top your manager simply made things worse. Three people contributed one way or another to perpetrate a crime. A decent manager would have run the the ball and you would have seen an entirely different result.

You are a kind and gentle soul ( and can mow!) and the world needs people like that.

Croix

[Tess2]

Dear Grandy,

well I think you owe it to yourself to go. You have worked there for ages and contributed. But if it feels too uncomfortable don’t go. What happened with the dolls was very distressing for you. But you had decided to get rid of them, that was the big decision and the brave bit. The ethics of the people who work there are questionable, but yours are not. You have so much integrity and kindness.

dont stop going there unless that is what you really want, you may find your life a bit less full without it

thinking of you

tess

[demonblaster]

Hi Mrs beautiful 👩‍❤️‍👩 and everyone 🖐

Dear lady such a hard decision.
Some thoughts are tossing through my mind.

• I would like to see you go back only for the sake of following through with standing up for yourself.
Tbh my nature when I've been disrespected at work by bosses I tend to speak up then choof depending on how it goes. Good seeing your big boss followed through on this. I remember he's aware of your mh and was quite decent to you if I have that right.

• I feel the reason you were so happy is because of the twats. Broken trust. It probs wouldn't be a good work enviroment unless they genuinely apologised but doubting it.
Who needs friction which could end up dirty.

• Possible but maybe not that they'd get put on another shift if they haven't been choofed which maybe not because volunteers might be hard to get.

• I'd like to see if they come to you. This is my choice for you but it's totally your call sweet darling bbff 🤗
Clearly you're valued there Floss they wanted you in a higher position didn't they a while back? and to work front of shop. You're reliable trustworthy unlike most on your shift and a hard worker. They know that. Gold

• Maybe not the right advice but I don't know that going back is going to do your mh good tho I stand by the first comment tho with risk.

So that's my 2 bob hun, might need some change from that cause don't know if any help 😄

I agree with great advice from everyone that you need to be comfortable and able to live with your decision.

Love you heaps Grandy. So much comfort and security having you as a bbff. That'll never change just deepen sweetyheart.
👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝😚🌱🌞

Hannah lovely you give great support that was an awesome post.
Hope you're feeling better than you were.
I'll get to your thread sometime just getting my head back atm.

Cya tomoz Grandz or whenever you're up to. Bbl at mine. Lot of news.

[Ggrand]

Dear Croix, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Hanna, Tess and everyone..

Thank you all for your posts..

I went in on Tuesday.... I felt like an alien from another planet...We had the full staff meeting so both girls were their...Nothing was said about the incident at the meeting...which kind of hurt a bit...but hey it’s only me..

I stayed until closing...Wasn’t fun at all...it really dragged me down...I tried to make conversation but only yes or no answers of her..so I just shut up and done my work then went to the chemist, where I reversed into a tree guard and wrecked my back light... bumper bar and part of the car body 😢....Karma?.. For doing something I don’t normally do...idk..

I talked about my work incident with my counsellor...She explained why I feel guilty about everything...and also said that I don’t trust myself nor my decisions..It’s like having a bird sitting on each shoulder, one saying I’m doing the right thing... the other saying I’m doing the wrong thing...A constant battle going on with myself..with decisions and lacking confidence in myself...

Thats me..who I am...I doubt I can change me...My counsellor says different..

If people speak up to others for what they think is right...It mostly causes conflict or bad feelings towards one or the other person....Does it really matter if we don’t speak up...at least then there’s no conflict or bad feelings to other people... or is not speaking up a form of weakness, running away from your beliefs..

swsd can’t come quickly enough bbff..💜..

Kind and caring thoughts with my love everyone...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...👭💜☁️👀🤝..

[demonblaster]

Hi everyone ☺

Sweet Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi lovey gently patting you on the back while giving you a huge assuring warm 🤗 for your tremendous courage which huh hymm you think you don't have.

That imo took untold strength going on Tuesday. Good for you!
I can't tell you how incredibly impressed I was/am anyway with you.
I imagine you would have been pretty tense?
Darlin you pushed through. Power to you.

Full credit for being decent enough to bother talking to them but actually they don't deserve your decency, are they forgetting conveniently who was at fault there.
If anythings said sweetyheart please keep that in mind my/our lovely. Pftt the hide of them!

No babe not Karma just life throwing it's rot in a bundle, which often happens.
Try not to let that incident get you down. Not easy I know.

Dear lovey so much rot going on. Hey darl time doesn't stop so you'll be looking back on all this I hope with your head high.
Wish you could see what we do 💜

Don't listen to beasty honey [IT] just wants to bring you down.
Nah not having it aye sweet 💣👿🤛 (bang bang.. beasty ..kapow!)

I heard yesterday on TV, like you not believing in yourself that children coming from a dysfunctional childhood when they do something wrong they look inside themselves thinking what did I do wrong instead of realising it wasn't their fault. Thought of you immediately dear soul 🤗

I agree I think your councillors right you can change your thinking.

I think honey ok maybe no bad feelings to others but why should you and you certainly don't deserve to be the one that gets walked over used and mistreated let alone disrespected when you were doing a kind gesture.

I know darlin it can't come quick enough. Every days one less 😢 swod honey 🤝

Love you so much dear bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩💜🗯👭✨👀 you're friendship support and love means the world. Don't change...only to look after yourself.
You're a brave strong lady. Pleasure knowing you 🤗😚 and the other amazing people here ⚘

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy (waves to Deebi!)

Speaking up ruffles people's feathers for sure, especially if they know they're in the wrong (which these people would know). They will get over it. The main thing is you did what you felt was right, and you had the courage to go back again, knowing you were in the right. I'd stick with it, the ones whose noses are out of joint will be a bit "iffy" for a while, the other people will be normal and it will all settle down eventually. Are there some that are continuing to be pleasant and normal with you? Then stick with them & don't worry about the others. Bad luck what they think - let them feel uncomfortable for a while, you don't need to feel that way too.

I think it's great you picked yourself up and went in to the store. Hold you head up high and keep on going. Well done you.

Hugs from little Sam, extra fluffy ones.

[Croix]

Dear Grandy~

Although I was trying very hard not to influence you I'm very glad you went on Tuesday, I thought it was probably going to be best for you long-term (this is just my opinion you understand)

Yes it was unpleasant and I'd expect your reaction to it left you driving in an "interesting" manner, however think of what you have done.

Grandy has stood up for right, had to bear the uncomfortable aftermath but (apart from bit of car) survived and is in a position to know you are stronger and have more of a senses of justice than many.

Again you have my admiration

Croix