Adopted son of 37 years just contacted me..I'm so scared as what to do.

Ggrand · ‎11-09-2017

Hi I have another thread but unrelated to this.

37 years ago my husband and young son (2tears old). was living in our car for around 8 months.I was pregnant at the time. My parents disowned me when I eloped with my husband. My husbands parents were strange and we never told them we were living in the car.

I gave birth to my second son while we were living in the car. My hubby contacted his father and his Godmother who both talked us into putting our baby into foster care for a few months until we got organized, as we couldn't have a baby living in the car. After I got out of hospital my father in law told us to stay with him. Then a woman from child services came to see us and said it best to adopt our baby out.I didn't want to but I had to or we were back in the car living and would loose our baby and possibly our other young son . because father in law said it was the only way we could stay with them.

My adopted son found me and contacted me on Sunday I was to shocked to answer him back until today.contact has only been through facebook messenger. I told him i will ring him tonight around 8.30pm.

I have never told my 2 other sons about him. I don't know how to tell them.Will they hate me for doing this as I have hated myself and never forgiven myself over all these years.I have thought about him over the years especially on his birthdays. I am so very scared. Hubby died 4 years ago so I have to do this on my own.

Hubby and I decided we would never try to find him as we didn't want to upset his life..I am a complete mess as what to do..Please can someone help me.

Ggrand · ‎07-10-2017

Thank you so much for your kind words White Knight and Quirkywords they really mean a lot to me I'm trying to be strong

Guest_128 · ‎08-10-2017

Wow I am so happy to read your very positive post. I'm so proud of you, you are trying so hard and that is what will pull you out of this terrible place you are in.

I am gob smacked, I am so overwhelmed you took it into your own and contacted your brother.

Ask away at anything you are struggling with,

you have friends here

Dory, I could squeeze you to pieces,💐

white knight · ‎09-10-2017

I could squeeze you too Dory but then you'll be a fish cake!

Tony WK

Ggrand · ‎09-10-2017

Thanks Dory I really do need a hug right now.

quirkywords · ‎09-10-2017

Karen

Sending you a big comforting reassuring hug.

I am so proud of you for all the steps you are taking.

Please be even a little bit proud of yourself.

You have done huge things and I know it is scary.

By your honesty, strength and compassion you have reached out and touched our hearts.

We are your support team.

More hugs and kind thoughts,

Quirky.

Ggrand · ‎09-10-2017

Thank you all so very much without your help i dont even want to think about what I would have done.the closer Wednesday is getting the more anxious I'm getting. Guilt kept me away from younger brother for many many years as i blame myself for not protecting him better from older brother. Yeah it will be hard and scarey on Wednesday trying not to think about it practice mindfulness as much as I can to stop thoughts but well brains to chatty to succeed at that.

Ggrand · ‎09-10-2017

Dory Quirky and WhiteKnight I just need to let you know that after reading your last posts I did for a minute or so feel a little quietness come to me and it felt good, until it dissapeared . Thank you don't seem enough.

Ggrand · ‎12-10-2017

Cried a million tears tonight. My brother hasn't turned up . Devestated crushed defeated I really don't know how I feel but it's not good. seems all my decisions wrong.

quirkywords · ‎12-10-2017

Karen

So sorry you are feeling so low. Did you brother tell you why he was delayed?

Your decisions are not wrong.People change their plans all the time. Let us know what happened when you find out.

You have a come a long way, don't let self doubt upset you now.

Give him a call if he has not already contacted you.

Sending you a reassuring hug.

Quirky

Ggrand · ‎14-10-2017

Hi..

My brother never turned up he rang me and said he wanted to so much but said it would be to painful for us both due to what we both had to endure when growing up. Im totally crushed but i do understand why, he was the one that found me, i still can't talk about that.. This is so bad how am I going to explain my mh problems with them on my own for goodness sake I'm not that smart or strong where and how do I start i dont know im just so dumb at conversation even with my own children how not normal is that.. I'm worried that they might see me as toxic to them and drop me from their lives because for 4 years they had peace from their dad and got on with their own lives and all this has brought him back into their thoughts and my mh sickness will keep him in their thought because when they see or hear me down they will remember. I'm stuck in a bricked in cube I feel so trapped and alone..Can I hide my problems from them can i pretend to be "normal" when i see them or speak to them i mean i dont see them that often as the distance we live apart. I don't know but I think it's worth a shot i don't know my mind is confused again I love them so much i need to protect them they need to live peacefully minded lives.. my head feels so heavy there's just to much going on inside it.. i love my son's I want to do what's right by them. They have a life time ahead of them. They don't need any.more crap from the past interrupting their lives now.