I'm hoping to receive some advice of what to do next?

[Seachel]

My current girlfriend and I have been going through a bit of a tough time recently, mainly coming from a place of me going through depression and basically being hard to be around, I understand where my girlfriend is coming from and I don't blame her or put any of the responsibility of our problems on her. The thing now is that the past couple of days I have finally realised that I need to be the mature one and end things now because I know I am bringing her down, she is becoming more sad the longer she's with me. We spent a lot of time talking last night and i have explained everything to her, I'm just so confused right now because I really don't want to be without her, I don't want to go through a break up but I also think I need to be alone to get past my depression and I think she needs to be alone to get back to a place where she's happy. It just feels so final and scary and I don't think I can handle it. I don't know what to do... 

[Neil_1]

Hi Seachel

How close are you two?   Do you live together?   You’re feeling like you’re bringing her down;  and she is becoming more sad the longer she’s with you.  Has she said that directly to you?  

Of course you know she’s saying this about your depression and not you, you know that don’t you!  

Does your girlfriend want to split up too?   Sorry for asking all these questions … cause I really think there’s some positive options here for you.  

First of all, get yourself to a GP and get yourself properly diagnosed.  You may need to be put on some medication for a while … you may not, it’ll depend on what the GP says.  They may be able to refer you to a professional psych for some counselling.  How does all this sound?  

I believe that if you arrange for this to happen, there’s no reason for you and your girlfriend to break up … UNLESS of course you both don’t want to be with each other anymore.  But I’m certainly not getting that feeling from your post.  What do you reckon?  

Neil

ps:  if this sounds ok and sounds possibly ok for both of you, then there's also no reason why your gf can't go along to one of your appointments, so they can get some idea about it all and possibly obtain some tips or helpful coping mechanisms to not only help themselves but to give you assistance as well.

[Seachel]

Hi Neil, thanks for responding.

I have had depression for about three years now, I am on medication and have been on and off seeing professionals for a long period of time too, my girlfriend met me at a time when the depression wasn't so bad but now has really been hitting me hard and yes she has said herself that she is becoming sadder by being around sad people; ie: me. Me were finally able to have an adult conversation without us fighting recently and I explained everything to her and how I love her too much to keep bringing her down, but she explained to me that she doesn't want to be without me, I'm torn because I also don't want to be without her but I can't promise her I'm going to get better anytime soon and I don't want to 'ruin' her in the mean time, don't know if that sounds silly or not, but I feel like I need to do this to save her kind of?

[Neil_1]

" .... but I feel like I need to do this to save her kind of?"

No you don't.  🙂

Give it a go together ... there's an absolute strong bond there between the two of you;  that's so obvious to see.  If you split up, it'll make her so incredibly sad and with how you are at the moment it'll make you hellishly worse.

Be together ... nothing is stronger than the bond of a strong love and the support you can give each other.

But please get back to a treating professional ... GP or psych.  Don't make these off and on visits;  make them regular.

That's also fine and very good of you to say that you can't promise any betterment any time soon ... of course you can't.  But what we can aim for is for little goals to try to be achieved.  Don't ever set big ones ... set little ones, but talk to your GP about this.  Little slow advancements.

But please give it a go together.  It'll set you back way further than you thought if you let her go.

Again I'll leave it with you by saying, "What do you reckon?"

Kind regards

Neil