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My soulmate died suddenly
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Hello Rosie, I only just came across your post now, I'm sorry, I hope you dont think we have been avoiding you. It is so difficult to know what to say at times like this, other than how very sorry I am to hear you have lost your partner. 20 years is such a long time, you have spent most of your adult lives together. It is true that grief works like that, the numbness and then the explosion of emotions, it may be normal but that doesn't mean it isn't so so hard.
I hope the medication helps you too, but I think that talking to a professional counsellor would help better. Not only are you grieving for the loss of a huge part of your life, but as time moves on there's the transition into the next phase of your life and how that will look without him. I hope reading that doesn't make you feel worse, just saying it because this isn't something you should have to do on your own and there is no shame in asking for more help. You have already taken the first step in doing so, and you had to push through a big mountain of grief to do it.
Some people cope with grief by avoiding others entirely. Do you have friends who can help? Either mutual friends or friends of your own? Just someone to sit there and listen to you.
I can imagine it must hurt that you didn't know about this other medical condition, but I am sure his reasons for not telling you were out of love and concern. He may very well have been going to tell you but didn't get the chance, sadly this is something that you cannot know but what you do know is that you had 20 wonderful years. Please write here some more if you would like, anything that helps, stories about your time together, how you are feeling, anything at all.
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Hi Rosie
I am so sorry to hear from your loss. You sound very lonely and sad. I feel your pain.
Grief is a very powerfull feeling and needs to be acknowledged and seen. Its important that others support you in your grief and/or let you greif otherwise it gets buried and can fester.
I had lost three close friends last year and was also in a pretty bad place.
I suggest to find yourself a grief councilor you can talk to. If your friends cannot cope at the moment that's understandable. every one reacts differently. try to talk to a councilor to vent your feelings otherwise u will 'burst". try to call BB and ask them for some advise where u can find one. They are so helpful!! Good that your GP gave u some tablets to help you cope. It takes a few weeks until those drugs full effect.
I sent you good vibes and love
beetle
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