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8 Weeks ago I lost my daughter to Suicide

Community Member

I'm feeling so sad, there is def. a piece of my heart missing. My youngest daughter took her own life, after a massive fight for the last 4 years against depression and anxiety. It started when she was only 16 that she was suicidal, after an attempt she was put into a mental health unit for 7 months. My husband and I were there every step of the way with her, she was sent back home and lasted 3 months, after continual attempts, was then sent to another mental health unit 7 hours away from where we lived. She was 17 by then, I lived in a unit at the back of the hospital for almost 12 months. They worked out it all stemmed from undiagnosed Aspergers.

Finally got her home in 2017 and I worked very hard to get her out socially again, half way through that year she went back to her old job, turned 18, and had a lovely boyfriend. Then last year we had a few bumps in the road but were constantly there for her and with her. Life seemed pretty happy for her. I was thinking too myself that 2017 was tippy toes, 2018 was baby steps and this year was going to be even better.

We had Xmas she told me she had a lovely time, we had a holiday with her in January, there were a few hard days there but we just went back to the holiday house so she could sleep. February she wanted a 20th Goth birthday party at home with her work friends with no alcohol. It was a lovely night.

Then I came home from work on the 1st of March and she had ended her life. The last 8 weeks have been a blur. We are all just heart broken and miss our girl so much, she had a wonderful sense of humour, the most beautiful smile, had so much love and empathy for everyone but not herself. Life is so very short. We loved her so so much. 😞 xx

5 Replies 5

Community Member

Welcome to BB Freyatom

I am deeply sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter. It is very clear from your post that you were always there for your daughter and extremely supportive so it is probably very hard to understand why she did what she did. Please don’t blame yourself as it sounds like there were no signs.

I have lost a friend to suicide so know how painful it is. It takes time to grieve and everyone does that differently so be gentle with yourself and your family. Once again I am so sorry to hear about your sad loss.

With love and a comforting hug. Look after yourself.


Community Champion
Community Champion


Welcome to this forum.

I can not imagine what you are going through. As a mother my heart goes out to you.

You have been so supportive of your daughter.

It is so early so recent and you are in shock and your emotions are raw.

Thanks for being so brave and honest to express your emotions because there will be some people reading this will relate to your post and they will not feel so alone.


Hi Freyatom

Ot is a yerrible period for you and your family. Having list my brother in 1979 and uncle in 2002 the same way I can only say I sympathise. My sister and I have had attempts but fully recovered.

There is little others can say or do that doesnt result in tokenism. Plant roses and dedicate the garden to your daughter. Maybe eventually tour schools to speak to young people about your daughter etc.

It is early days in the grief process but some people get a rescue pet to comfort them. Good deeds is a distraction.

Guilt is one area you might experience, if so hoogle

Beyondblue Topic guilt the tormentor

Beyondblue Topic maharaji youtube he helped me for 25 years-maharaji

Beyondblue Topic maharaji youtube sunset

I wish you well and your family. You were and always will be a wonderful parent.


Community Member
I lost my husband to suicide 8 months ago now. Still I’m haunted by the unknown Blaming myself because I didn’t think he would ever do something like this. Blaming him for now helping himself. Deep down I know he couldn’t help himself because he was an addict but why wouldn’t he Let others help him. Many people have told me it was easier for him to end his life than to give up the drugs. How can I understand that.

Community Member

I'm soo very sorry for your heartache, my son committed suicide also, 5months next week and I'm struggling just as I imagine you are, my thoughts and prayers are with you xx