Hi all, I'll be brief:
Primary issue: I often wake up zombified in the mornings. I experience a lack of energy and motivation & often find my self vegging out until the early afternoon. Sometimes I feel like I have a cloud in my head. Struggle to be fully engaged in the activities I take part in - consequently simple and dull tasks can often be difficult/irritating to get through. When I'm put under stress for an extended period of time (especially at work), I've found I often get scatter brained - and there has been instances where my mind has been so fatigued I've experienced a kind of 'concentration shut down' - were tasks that would take me a few seconds begin to take over 5 minutes (i.e like sending a short email).
Attempted solutions:
-Seen GP. Sleep study done with sleep specialist- no serious diagnosis.
-MRI done and is clean.
-Have attempted morning excercise, which has sometimes proved effective, but other times has had little effect (often getting out of bed and doing sport feels impossible)
-Meditation & Diary - few times a week - helps but not so much with fatigue/consciousness issue.
-Coffee - works for 1hr but then I tend to crash - typically try to stay away from it but the caffeine is often necessary to maintain the standard required at work.
-Goal setting/task management - I've made attempts to write out tasks and set goals, which helps with the 'must-do' weekly activities - but I simply don't have the level of interest or engagement required to commit to a self-set long term Goal on a daily basis.
The issue largely began last year when:
-Father passed away
-Had to manage an estate which I was largely unprepared for
-promoted at work which meant an large increase in responsiblity (and stress)
-Had to move homes (went from managing a share home to living with my mother)
-falling out with long term friend/partner
While it's been a trying time and I've undoubtedly experienced bouts of depression along with grief - I've refused to engage in suicidal ideation and feel a strong sense of wanting to improve myself and my situation to the best of my ability.
Once again my primary concern is my capacity for conscious attention and my ability to be motivated enough to follow through on achieving longer term goals. While I'm certain that last year's events are strongly related to this issue and that depression may be one of the underlying causes for it, I also can't help but shake off the feeling that it may be physiological in nature.
