Working with depression/bipolar

[Sad_and_useless]

Hi guys,

I'm a 32 year old woman who is diagnosed as bipolar and severe depression. Have been this way for the majority of my adult life. I managed to work full time up until I was 28 as a vet nurse, then I had to have a year's break. I'm back at work now after my second big break doing 20 hours a week at the same place. I love my job. I love my employers. Yet I'm really struggling once again with going in. All I want to do is sleep, I'm just bone tired. I'm just thinking to myself if I can't manage a measley 20 hours a week what the hell do I do? My employers have been beyond understanding and supportive, and so have my workmates. How many times can history repeat and I call in sick and everyone suffers? I'm in the exact same position I was in 10 years ago - when does it get better?? I've tried to help myself, have been in counselling, have been admitted to hospital, the whole nine yards. And again, how can I keep doing this to the people who care about me? I'm 32 years old and my mother still has to check in on me and make me dinner or lend me money. I keep waiting for it to get better but it never ever does. I don't want to be unemployed, I love my job, which I've had since I was 16 years old. I guess what I'm asking is, is it possible to be bipolar/depressed and still have a job? Would love to hear from anyone who is experiencing this same turmoil.

[Dom20]

Hi Danielle324,

Thank you for your post and your thoughts. I think you are right, workplaces are places of expectations and deadlines that put people under pressure and generally speaking are not embracing of mental illness. At work, we do not regard each other as people in the full sense, as having emotions (particularly when emotions deviate from the norm), private lives, mental health issues etc, but rather professionals there to perform a function to the business at a high level. I have often wondered about 'coming out' in relation to divulging my mental illness with the attitude of 'deal with it if you don't like it'. Instead I have told a few closer friends and encouragingly they don't look at me differently and are more understanding if I give them a quick remark to let them know how I am traveling without making a big deal of it. Perhaps I will widen this circle. However, for the most part, I think that people have a low understanding and tolerance for mental illness, and I certainly do not want others to think I am making excuses for shortcomings when I am running a little 'slow'. So in this regard, I see exactly what you are saying. You are right, getting through some days is a win in itself. Yes, thank you, I do have a long weekend and spent a relaxing day with the family. Sunlight is good for the soul. I hope you are doing fine and had/ are having a nice weekend also. Have a good day whether it is a 'slow' day or a 'normal' one

Dom20

[Enough64]

Hi there i knowit's hard butdon't give upb im 51 and my mother still helped me until she passed away being a vet nurse is something to be so proud off i have the same problems pleasedon't give up i did ended up in icu for 8 days goldcoast be happy

[Danielle324]

Hi Dom20 🙂

that is such an interesting point about feeling the need to ‘come out’ how crazy is that, that we are so embarrassed/ashamed I guess to tell people. I guess I more feel that I’d be judged if I told anyone at work (managers etc) because I try so hard to do a good job at work and really not be my true self which is so unfair!! But that is a very big issue of trying to change the perpective of mental health but we can’t change the world! One step at a time 🙂 sunshine is so good trying to enjoy it while it’s still good weather! Thankfully I’ve been with family and got some exercise in outdoors so very pleased with that I always feel better afterwards!

[Candice5]

Hi Dom,

I can relate to how you feel when you're at work. I have depression and anxiety and low self-esteem so work is hard for me sometimes. I work at a University and many of my colleagues have their doctorates, masters or at least a Bachelor's degree. I don't have a degree and only spent one year at TAFE getting a certificate of business. I often feel quite stupied and inferior to my colleagues and I don't feel like I deserve to work there. My boss recently told the other excutives that she doesn't want me on her team anymore and that she doesn't think I belong in the school at all. So yes, my self worth is at a low. Many of my work friends tell me that I do a great job and this helps a little but not a lot. I wosh I had a good memory and more confidence but these seem to allude me. Hang in there. There's plenty of people like us who struggle with work, running a home etc. I hope you take sometime out for yourself to do something fun and rewarding.

[neliyeti]

hi there S&U

I'm 49 and I'm a psychotherapist with depression, bipolar disorder and PTSD, ADD and an eating disorder. On my good moments I'm brilliant and if I manage 20 hours a week - I am ecstatic but I'd spend a lot of time mentally exhausted if i did a consistent 20hr week. I got myself a gym membership and when i go i feel more energetic. WHen i moderate my external activities so that i'm not going out or trying to socialise regularly .. and i try to get enough sleep to stop that deathly tiredness...... but im not upset that i'm tired. i just accept that it's part of experiencing depression and the inability of being able to stop the racing thoughts and actions in the good moments. It makes you tired. Don't be down on yourself. Try to slowly carve out a life that adapts to the changing landscape of bipolar disorder. I have a great psychiatrist ( referral from GP) who has helped me as i now help others... talk with those professionals who are taking care of you and have it in mind that you need to create a livable life with many contingency plans... GOod luck

[neliyeti]

hiya Quirky

i too am self employed but i find it hard to do four hours a day.. i have to schedule my clients so that i have lots of breaks otherwise i too crash. GOod to know there are others out there managing.

xx