FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

When depression isn't the illness, it's just life ?

Guest_1584
Community Member

Hi BB.

l hope a separate thread for this topic is ok as it is a big topic and if anyone else would like or need to talk about their situation to and how they're handling things or anything at all please feel free.

ldk where to begin but l suppose this time it really starts from my divorce about 9yrs ago. l've never really had as far as l know the actually illness of depression, it's usually been from a life period itself. l did try meds yrs ago but didn't like them. And at this stage, it is again just life itself. After divorce l wanted to be alone and work through things 4yrs or so but later l started trying to feel like life again.l started getting back into my few hobbies, and walked or jogged and getting out and about.Later managed to buy this house to stay close to my daughter and l met gf l've been with last over 3yrs now.lt's been mostly beautiful earlier, a few bumps but they ironed out. Later some serious legal drama she'd had got worse and she had to go interstate up home for them and we've been apart mostly16mths since. Future us wise, not so sure right now as she still has ongoing problems needs another 6mths and also depression and anxiety herself.

Well these days l just work on the house and outside a bit which l enjoy usually, forced right now though like everything. Do 1 or 2 hobbies, forced, get out most days to somewhere that l do like, l like driving my car and just getting out and about, but tbh, l don't feel like doing anything else,usually in bed very early, just pc ,too much, use to love movies but don't feel like them or tv. Still don't have any friends here, 5yrs, although l can't be bothered with many people one or two would be nice. Haven't worked at all this yr yet but l'll probably be going back for a few mths soon. l have a simple at home business not great money but covers house repayments and living, save a little bit. Great hrs though when l do work and leaves me lots of time which l like.

Things is, later side of mid 50s now, gf and l looking pretty unlikely, the rest, this is just not where l pictured being and tbh, l just don't feel like doing anything, bed 24 7 would suit me right now no problem. About the only thing l do enjoy unforced is seeing my d or getting out for a drive about. l am depressed, l hate where l'm at in life and l wouldn't have believed it 10yrs ago, with zero interest or mojo for anything really, just feel sad.

rx

250 Replies 250

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hey rx 

I'm sorry to hear that.  I might check out for a bit too  as I can't find anything & find this new set up.really hard to follow. It doesn't make me feel good, just really confused.

Hope all is OK with you d. Dedicate your time to her now.

Take care

Cmf

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi rx, hope you're doing ok. I love ecomama's words - you're ageing, you're only ever going to age, like every other person on this planet, THIS RIGHT NOW could be as good as it gets, so seize the day!"

Perhaps this is it. Accept what we have in whatever way,  shape or form it come? Choose to do what really makes you happy without anything/anyone weighing you down. We're not going to get younger or have a chance to re do things differently. It is what it is. Our choice. 

Hugs

Cmf

Guest_1584
Community Member

Hiya cm.

Well yaknow things like that l've thought a lot about this last 18mths us being apart, we've talked about it a lot to. TBH , l'd be one of the luckiest guys round if this was it, providing we get out shyt together and into the one house again that is anyway. TBH , we couldn't really ask for more in those regards and we do talk about all that, we know it butttt, we do still have to figure out wth we'll live, working on it.

Here's to the right chioces eh.

 

Big thanks to em as well , hope your holding up , and l hear ya and hope things all work out for you guys too.

 

Take care all. rx

Well ldk wth l'm doing here but my love life's latest is scrambled into this thread now soooo, to hell with it.

Must say sorry but l hate the way your first post from centuries ago pops up top of ea page to, last thing l wanna see again is my first post everytime l come in now and it takes up room too.

 

Anyway, strange thing, l've expected it 2yrs now. My ex showed up on our chat thing. She didn't talk she just put in my fav' pic of her, on our private chat, after 2yrs.

Our story's in my other thread but we met a few yrs before gf now. lt was different but very very mind blowing but she was living in the US , we were part time visits pt long distance. ln person we were incredible, but the pt long distance gaps, we'd turn to shyt with pressure, financially, her moving over to the other side of the world, huge. So often back home the pressures, daunting, the obstacles would sink in again, stress, some fights, both feeling weird, and we'd have troubles. l realized later on a lot of her stuff, mine to, was about the pressures of the situation.  Well we split just before l met gf now.

l know we haven't forgotten nor would've given up but l met gf now, ex and l have talked in the last few yrs since though.

 

lt's been hard bc l met gf now too soon but she was also such a rare one that l knew l shouldn't walk away, ex and l looked finished.

Well as we know gf now troubles and now this situation, until and if we manage to work it out, hopefully later this yr. l meean gf now is an incredible girl, person and partner, you couldn't ask for more- IF - we can work our situation now out.

l would've moved on emotionally more from ex if we hadn't had such a roller coaster this last 12mths.

1/2 the time we just haven't even known and so ex being what we were , l have wondered what ifs.

And here she was after all that, with my fav photo.Why did she do that ?

She didn't say a word, l wrote a little bit and said it'd be nice to talk, she'd read it, no answer. For me even if just closure alone. Now, 3 days and she's gone again , so is my fav photo. Got a feeling she might be back yet , but why did she pop up and not talk then go again ? She was checking me right through l could see it.

rx

 

Well that's handy , now we can't even see if we've gone over word count or by how much.

 

 

 

 

My d reckons she was sussing me out , says us women like to suss out ex's haha, rascals.

And also that she must still be single which l can even fathom how that would be poss. Not only is she stunning and with a voice that would melt any man, but she works on the airlines and around 100s of men . Although like me she is very fussy and very different but still, can not imagine how she has lasted this long single thought she'd for sure had been snapped up yrs ago. 

The mysteries of life.

rx

ecomama
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hey rx, hey CMF and others reading (if and when you can find this thread lol), 

 

That's a blast from the past for a weird ole moment. I guess since she's vanished now, without a word, she's gone girl again. That's a really strange thing to do imo. 

 

How's your d going now? 
I hope things have settled down for her. 
Your d sounds a bit like my eldest d actually. Never a dull moment lol. 
Is your d a firecracker like mine? 

Mine's considerably older than yours. The firecracker part is less of an issue now, but ewww I would never want to be on her bad side lol! 

Have you been able to travel up to see current gf since things opened up? 

 

Oh gosh I'm watching an interview with a compulsive liar on YT and wow... some people. It's absolutely pathetic. Reminds me of a certain demon from the past lol. SO glad it's rotting away being a leech somewhere ELSE 😃
Sorry for the diversion! 

 

How have you been otherwise? 

 

EM

Hi em and thanks for that.

Yep she hung around 3days without a word, she's done that before . She is a complicated lady though , also very prideful.

 

D ahhhh, firecracker, l wish that was all it was, lucky you. Unfortunately though she is BP1 . Thing is not only would it not be nice if l was to blurt out everything that's happened , but it would also take a book. Hardest few yrs of my life in those ways though l must say and for her she's been through so much breaks my heart.

Butttttt, we're praying she has the help she's needed now and can get on top of this.

rx

ps yeah , finding things, forget it.

Oh yeah , gf yep , been up twice this yr now and going up again soon but tbh, having a few concerns of late.

Nother post maybe.

Hope your holding up ok .

rx

Random

I just wanted to say that I have just found this thread which is amazing 

I am reading my way through and I like your honesty and insights. 

ecomama
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hey rx, my heart goes out to you and your daughter and her mum.

 

Getting the "right" supports for d can be a really long road! Then having her compliance, I understand, can be a whole thing in itself. 

I really hope she does well. No one wants to see their child go through all this and none of us want to see a young person suffer so much. 

 

Glad you've been up to see gf a few times. 
Has her legal stuff been completed? 
Yes another post. 

 

I'm getting through. 
EMxxxx