Thoughts on common symptoms of depression

[Mares73]

Dear friends, I've been around this forum for over 2 yrs now & I've noticed a thought pattern similar to each person experiencing depression. I'm going to generalize so please don't take these symptoms as common to all of us. Nor am I medically trained. Just thoughts from me as a forum regular.

I've noticed many of us-

-Have high self expectations &/or perfectionism

-often feel like a failure with low self esteem, lack of confidence

-highly sensitive & fear criticism

-struggle with diagnosis & treatment options whilst feeling "weak" as a person for having this illness

-often isolate ourselves as we feel Noone could understand

-experience anxiety as a precursor or as part of their depression

-fear other people's reactions at a time we are highly vulnerable

-blame ourselves for not being able to "get on with it"

- set ourselves unrealistic high self expectations about what we "should do" despite our illness requiring us to slow down & let go of some pressures or triggers

-feel unable to talk openly to those close to us

-feel alone & isolated

- have personal stigma ie struggle to accept depression as an illness

-fear things will never improve

-need a sense of hope & the ability to limit thinking to short term as we often fear & generalize about things that may never happen

-can lack insight when very low & experiencing suicidal thoughts. It's not our lives we want to destroy but rather the pain & thoughts we are experiencing

-struggle with doing things that would usually be simple tasks

-feel the fight/flight response heightened

-want to be supported but feel too vulnerable so stay isolated. May fear going out or doing daily tasks

-wear a "mask" when around others

-generally feel exhausted, lacking hope & battles to get through each day.
One other common thread amongst the stories on here is that many if not most people have experienced some forms of a traumatic, upsetting or certain life situation that could be seen as a precursor to depression. 

I'm sure there's other common symtoms the ones above are just straight from my thoughts without any research etc- thoughts I feel common on the forum. 

So if you relate to any your not alone.

Lve Mares

[MisterM]

Lack motivation.
Have normal moments then in the same day the black dog brings us down again.

[Stormi71]

This is all true with me. I sometimes think certain personality types are more predisposed to depression and anxiety. 

[SBD]

I am brand new to this forum but I agree completely. I was having very similar thoughts yesterday and today. 

I had been thinking "What if my mental health will never allow me to work full time without become anxious and depressed" and that seems like a totally unacceptable answer. And I found myself saying "but you should be able to cope, because everyone else does". Everyone else probably doesn't but that is beside the point. I have this pressure put on purely by myself to conform to a perceived 'standard' and feel like I will lose my identity if I don't conform to it.

 Actually, our whole societal structure is a little sick. The first thing we ask a new person that we meet is 'what do you do?'. From the outset, we are defined by our very language and our identity is one and the same with our jobs or other roles (and all the negative judgement that may come with it if you don't have a socially acceptable or impressive answer). 

[Mares73]

Welcome SBD to Beyond Blue. It's great that you've reached out as many people will identify with your story & share ideas & support  Your comment about people asking how work is going reminded me of something I've observed. When someone greets another person they often say "Hi how are you" & keep walking or move the conversation along. It is expected that we will reply "Hi yes I'm good thanks". What would happen if we gave an honest answer ie "Hi I'm having a tough time actually, how about you". This opens the conversation to possibility of honest, engaged conversation. Yet as you observe even my example would be deemed negative as it's socially unacceptable to talk about anything deeper than surface level conversations. We are not comfortable as a society with engaging on a deeper level with people we come into contact with. Yes exceptions may be family & close friends & yet so many people I've observed from this forum feel unable to be honest about how they feel with those close to them. 

As you mention self criticism is also an issue for many of us.

Thanks for responding & to others for responding. It would be a great  research project!

I hope you can reply & get support here. I'd like to know how your traveling.

Lve Mares