Sad and Lost Enjoyment in Life....

[166]

This is my first time posting.
I have had depression on and off for many years. This year I think has been my worst. I struggle with keeping my 'sadness' under control and usually immerse myself in my work which has always helped. I like to be busy. This year though I think I have suffered 'burn out' and work has not been so enjoyable. I just don't seem to enjoy anything....work, food, friends, tv. I have confided in family and my Dr (all of whom are very supportive) but nothing seems to be 'working' for me.
Just feel a bit lost and like it will never be better.
I decided to let my bosses in on the fact that I thought I was doing too much and needed to not do so much.....this was a mistake and now they think I am 'not coping' and I feel like they are attaching stigma....always referring to my 'not coping'. I wish I had not said anything now as I feel like they will always think this now.
I feel like I have let myself down admitting it...was it wrong to be honest?
And will I get better? Advice on how to lift myself back up again when I am finding everything hard and just want to avoid life???

[Sunshine_11]

166,

Yeah I would totally feel the same way, about revealing something so personal to me.

However it sounds like you have taken the right step in admitting it, because otherwise you would have kept going you are, and then later would be in a worse situation.

I really do sympathize with you. I am going through something similar, burn out due to demanding work place, demanding kids and not enough meaningful time to myself. So I am also evaluating my situation and trying to treat myself more kindly and moving in the right direction of how I want things to be. And that is a brave step, rather than keeping on going and breaking down completely or loosing faith in yourself.

What helps me, is to step back and try to view myself from the outside in a kind way. See myself as a child again and think what does this person need right now? And say for instance, that you think more fun would help, for instance, then I step back into myself and think how could I inject more fun to my life? Then it could simply be an activity I have enjoyed or always wanted to do. For instance if you enjoy being active, it could be indoor rock climbing. Or kanoing or kayaking is super fun and can be done alone if you prefer time with nature.

If you want to travel, join a travel group through contiki or some other group depending on your age. You can find them in a travel brochure. Visiting historic places is always interesting where you just observe through your senses.

I hope I have given you some ideas. Otherwise people say volunteering helps them.

Definately sounds like you have done the right thing and I congratulate you. You won't know it's the right thing until all the cards fall into place and you see the benefit of what you have done. So don't loose heart in the short term and learn to admire your strength!

[166]

Thanks for your words. You have given me some things to think about. I have never put myself first and so realising I have burnt out and need to step back has been a huge thing for me to admit. And I know I shouldn't feel bad because of it...but I do. I am looking at some travel next year as I am taking some time off and am trying to remember what things I used to do for my own enjoyment....I have become very used to just working. I guess also I have become quite lonely in realising all I have been doing is working. It's strange in that everyone at work likes me but I am not close to any of them. I find I don't have close friends but no-one would realise this because of my personality...the one that everyone sees that is. Tears flow a lot at the moment so I know things need to change...I just have to get that drive again...I'm a little lost....but having things to think about from others like yourself is great.

[Sunshine_11]

That's great. Traveling sounds like it will be very helpful.

[Williamtell]

I think I know a lot of people like you .I am one myself.I helped my friend join a group for Women who were interested in travel .It is called 5W. The thing is one needs some company and support in moving on to new things so a group was helpful.

[166]

Thankyou. I'm still struggling. I wish things got better overnight. I'm trying to think of good things to do. Keep myself looking forward. Still really hard to get up and focus positively on the day ahead but trying. It is exhausting some days. Dr suggested to do one positive thing a day. Still sad that I think the bosses at work are thinking that I can't cope rather than thinking I have admitted I am doing too much and need to slow down. I can't change that but need to focus on getting my own mind back to being strong again. It's hard though.