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Ruining my marriage

misties
Community Member
I think I am on the verge of ruining my marriage. My frustration with him is not good. After a quadruple bypass his memory has deteriorated. I am running out small business by myself and I am snappy with him. I have a vulva issue and think that may be contributing to this problem. I am very unhappy. I love my husband dearly but he keeps telling me that I am always telling him what he does is wrong. I don't mean to do that but my anger is not good.We even argue about the dog. I am nearing the end of my tether, as I can't face life without him.
1 Reply 1

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Misties~

Welcome back to the Forum. I'm sorry to hear that your husband's memory is not what it was. I would be surprised after all you have said in the past couple of years he does not love you just as much as always.

 

In past posts you have always worried about your relationship, I suspect it is stronger than you fear.

 

It does not sound in the least surprising that you are short tempered. Which a physical issue plus the  stress and energy needed to run a business on your own you would not be human if you did not react.

 

I can also imagine frustration of you are trying to rely upon your husband as you might have done in the past and now he forgets. It can also be pretty upsetting when someone you have loved for so long no longer remembers as he used to, and seems somewhat less than he was. .

 

Could you say how bad his memory has become? Please excuse me for being blunt but if it ever comes to the stage he cannot look after himself then you may need to rethink the situation.

 

So are there thngs to try to lessen the stress? Can you for example get come part time help with the  business? Also perhaps not rely upon you husband as before so he does not get the chance to let you down? Could you instead suggest labor saving tasks that it are not serious if they are not done?

 

Do you mind if I ask if you have any support? Maybe a family member or friend who might help lighten your load - even if it only to talk with . Trying to keep going just on your own is very hard.

 

May I also suggrst seeing your doctor and explaining the situation, they may be able to help wiht  your  physical problem, and maybe even assist wiht the stress and anger, and help you cope without feeling things are getting hopeless -which they are not. They may suggest counceling for a while or even wish to see your huband to see if anything can be done about his memory.

 

One thing I do is to have a while for myself each day. Have something to distract me from life's problems, or merely something I enjoy. While I use books and movies you would of course have different ideas. The main thing is to have something to look forward to each day. I found it can make a real difference.

 

You know you are welcome here anytime, it would be good to hear from you again.

 

Croix