my life is going down hill and I can no longer find my way back to the top

[scozzie]

Hi I'm scott

I have been falling back in to the hands of depression now for over a year it has slowly gotten worse now it has got a full hold on me atleast 1 in 3 days I'm so badly depressed I just lay in bed pretty much running over my issues time and time again and hating my self for how I feel and for letting things get like this.

No matter how much time I spend going over my issues I can never find a solution.

So storey as short as I can.

I have been in a relationship about 8 years have 2 children. But started to no longer love my partner about the time the depression began actuelly started to hate being around her.

She changed I changed both our lives were going in different directions we started to not share the same interests. Then I started to have feelings for a good friend who I've known for awhile now like 6 years. Started getting really close she suffers depression I was one of her supports we talk nearly every day some times for 6hrs straight.

I started to talk with her about my issues to about my failing relationship mostly. One day I was stupid and told my friend I liked her this nearly cost me our friendship a few months later things came good again with me and her was like I never said it things were good there. But my feelings remained.

A few weeks after this My partner went in to my fb and txts and read every thing while I was asleep and at work so we broke up. She moved out after 6 weeks we decided to try and make things work well it's not it's making me depressed and angry and well I am still crazy for this friend of mine 9 months on this is were it gets hard.

So this girl and I talk every day still about alot we can talk about nothing and still make each other smile and laugh. A few weeks ago she told me she dreamed about me and her going out some were together and romanticly kissing each other.

Now clearly this made things harder for me as I like her. Since then till now just over a month she has gotten really close and touchy feely with me one day it's like she wants to give us ago next she shuts me out puts up a force field I have not told her I still like her. There is alot more but I think you get the idea I'm lost.

I want to leave my partner im unhappy but scared to lose my kids and I want to tell this girl I still like her but I'm scared to lose her if she still only wants a friendship. Thanks for reading 

[Neil_1]

Hi Scott

I’m really sorry to hear that.    I do hope that you’re being treated very well and that this admission is helping you through this current period of time.

Take care and if you’re ok to let us know how you’re going that would be great;   but ONLY IF you’re able too.  Look after yourself is the key issue here.

Neil

[Meegannn]

Scott I am so sorry to hear this, as Neil said I do hope this helps you and you are being treated well.

This too will get better like everything else has before but it all takes time and patience unfortunately.

I will check up every now and then and wait fora reply to hear how you are going, please take care of yourself Scott:)