Isolated-cold-lonely and depressed.

[Guest_4987]

As i live in an isolated regional area with all the cold weather with my depression i am finding life very hard at the moment. I am not new to BB but have not posted for some months but find myself needed help as I am sliding into a dark place which i seem to carry with me…

With not that much support available in my area at night i decided to reactivate contact on these forums as it was helpful then so why not now. STS

[Guest_4987]

Hi Sherie, Just want you to know that i posted here to you earlier but it hasn't appeared ? I read you won't be around much tonite but i'll keep an eye out for you. x

[Wednesday]

Hi Wayne,

Are you okay? Do you want to chat?

Hugs.

[Guest_4987]

Hi Wednesday,

I am feeing a little better today thanks for asking…A chat would be nice. I think you have been posting about mindfulness, would i be right in saying that?

[Wednesday]

HI,

Umm not so much, I'm more of a meditator than a mindfulness person. that said I think mindfulness is great, love that dogs are so good at it, right there in the moment no matter what they are doing. Sherrie has been working on mindfulness. I wrote about a technique I use from time to time to stop my mind wandering,

I'm pleased that you're feeling a bit better. What's been happening for you?

[Guest_4987]

Wednesday I seem to letting myself down these days i have been loosing my way with things that usually don't bother me i am not sleeping well nor am i eating as i should and my mind has been running away with negative thoughts, i usually take fair to good care of myself but not of late.

Earlier on i posted on 2 different threads and they didn't show up..after thinking about my words I can now see why the moderator didn't post them..i feel bad and a bit foolish because i can now see that my words could have upset others anyway i'll get over that.

FYI i can't seem to keep the black dog out of my life for extended periods..i'am sure that there is a way for me to move on but i must have not found the way as yet..I'am always looking and trying but hey maybe i need to look at things differently and in other places.

As the weather hasn't be real good lately i realise this could be part of me feeling the way i do but i really would like to understand myself a bit better.I just don't know.

[Wednesday]

Wayne, it sounds like you are in a miserable, tough spot. Hugs.

What do you mean by losing your way? Has something happened to make you so sad? It’s hard when your spirit plummets and the world looks so dark.

There has been a bit of a problem with missing post of late, maybe this has happened to yours? From what you have said it sounds like your posts were angry or unhappy. The forums are about helping you, lots of things are said that could upset people. Is there another way of saying what your feeling?

Dear Wayne you have to look after yourself, not eating is going making you feel just dreadful and can have an effect on your brain encouraging the negative thoughts. Maybe your sleep debt is way too high and you’re exhausted. I’m worried about you so I have to ask, have you seen a GP and/or counsellor of late?

That dam black dog has a lot to answer for and when s/he is accompanying us we don’t think straight. While you feel like you’re letting yourself down, you’re not. You have reached out, which is such a big step when you feel so wretched. This may be one of those one hour at a time moments don’t give up. You know this is just a moment the mood will shift and the sun will come out again. There is a well known syndrome of how people’s moods can relate to cold dark miserable weather.

Give sweet Lucy a cuddle for me. xx

[Moonstruck]

Shaun the Sheep - Hello my darling. I noticed you used words "always looking and trying". How about for a change..."Just let go of the oars" - even for a little while to give you time to breathe in slowly......then breathe out. Stop paddling so hard upstream...let your boat turn itself around and float gently downstream instead.

Imagine your higher self, an angel or higher power or whatever you like to call it - (use me if you like).when you feel like quitting trying so hard, saying these words to you - "So quit! stop trying so hard, stop struggling just for now..let ME do it..I've got you, I'm holding you....just let it be".

In the Chill Out thread...there's a Goalcast u tube of Robin Williams - see if you can find it. It always makes me feel better. sending kind thoughts and peaceful wishes to you.....

"

[Guest_5218]

Hi Wayne. Sorry I havent been on here tonight. I'm here now, but it looks as though you may have finished for the night. I just read all the replys on your thread here though. And I am very happy to see that you have received lots of support tonight. They're a great bunch of people arent they?

Maybe I will catch you tomorrow. I am heading off to bed shortly, I'm feeling very tired after a difficult day.

Sherie xx

[Guest_5218]

Morning Wayne. Your post from yesterday just come through. Sorry to read of your bad day 2 days ago, sounds rough. At least some of the blackness lifted a little yesterday.

Yes it would be worth checking with your GP about an alternative AD that could be a better fit for you. There are many alternatives, and some are effective for some, but less so for others. Everyone is different with regards to side-effects. Luckily some people have very few, and any they do have is relatively minor, or at least better than putting up with the blackness or depression. But it can be a bit of trial and error to find the best fit for you.

Mindfulness is something I have recently commenced trying to do. There are many books on the subject, so do a search on the internet and see what you come up with. It can be very effective in combatting the effects of both anxiety and depression. I have been doing an on-line mindfulness based anxiety and depression course through a well known sydney uni which specialises in mental health studies and treatment via the internet. I was lucky to get onto their trial group. So I get to do the on-line course for no cost, and have the support from a clinical psychologist throughout the 14 weeks. It isnt easy though, and I am still getting really frustrated when I dont seem to be able to get it. My mind wanders off track so easily.

But I would suggest that you have a look in the Staying Well section of the Forums and take a look at one of Shelley's threads called - Walking Shoes. Starwolf has written a really good post there which is a walk using mindfulness. It was only a couple of days ago, so you will find it towards the end of the thread. Although limited with characters, it still gives you a good idea about what mindfulness is all about. I would be very interested to hear what you think after reading it.

Ouch, no hot water for a shower? I hope that is on your list of priorities for the house Wayne! Although winter will soon be over and spring will soon be here. We have a beautiful day here today, but I know its raining at my Mum and Dads place who live two thirds of the way between me and you. So the weather could be doing anything where you are. I hope things continue to improve for you Wayne.

Here is a big hug to help you through the day. And a pat for Lucy as well. I wont ask you to pass on a lick from Holly to Lucy like I did once before. I dont want you developing hair balls again. (-:

Sherie xx

[Guest_4987]

Hello Sherie, Wednesday, Moonstruck, Shelley and Kazz.

I would like to thank all of you for your support over the last few days your posts were so welcome and helped me not feel as lonely and down. I am quite emotional today for no particular reason? Even though i feel emotional i am doing what you suggested Moonstruck and just letting go of my negative thoughts, most of the negative thoughts i have are generally not based on reality and are useless but I seem to fall for them way to many times…old habits are hard for me to shake off so i'am just not going enter into them which could give my mind a little break. Wednesday what i meant by loosing my way is that i just felt as though i am loosing everything good that life has to offer and all thats left is a drama or painful. The earlier posts that were missing have shown up and have been moderated which is a good thing, i am in no way an angry person but can get very unhappy at times, no if i'm honest very unhappy what seems to be a lot of the time these days. Sleep has been a big problem over the last few weeks and I only know to well how the lack of it takes it toll on mind and sprit. Wednesday i have not see my GP or counsellor or 6months or so, so i think i should make time to visit them both as they both are very understanding. Sherie you have had such a trying time of it your self lately and you always find time to help others i am so grateful to know you and thank you! I am now out of words but I would like you all know i so do appreciate your thoughts and generosity of kindness. Hugs and more Hugs to you all. Wayne x