Is it depression?

Boymumma90 · ‎13-08-2018

Hi, so I've not long been looking into depression after thinking I might have it somewhat. I just googled, 'can you have depression for no reason' and it turns out you can. I didn't want to actually phone someone to seek help because I feel like I don't have problems compared to others. Honestly I don't know what my problem is but I feel like everything is just starting to take its toll on me. My son is nearing 2.5 and I haven't really had a break since he was born - not a single night apart. My partner works FIFO so he's barely home and I'm on my own more often than not. I work four days a week but lately barely even want to get out of bed let alone go to work. I felt like I hit an all time low the other week, several times I'd had the thought of dying and it didn't bother me in the slightest. I don't really hang around any friends often and usually I'm okay with being on my own but I've felt flat out alone as of late. When I get into these moods I think if things I wouldn't normally - like how much I miss the big family gatherings we used to have as a kid (they stopped because families broke up) or I want to see my nanna who passed away some time ago. I just want to know what I can do to help myself please? I don't want it to worsen to point of medication, if it is depression.

romantic_thi3f · ‎13-08-2018

Hi Boymumma90,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for joining us. I'm so glad you decided to write in because what you're going through is important and it is worth hearing.

It is so so common to hear that other people have it worse, and that that line or story can stop people from getting help. What you're feeling matters and what you're going through matters. There is no scorecard or checklist to see a therapist; if you want to see one, you can, no matter what you or anyone else is going through.

I don't know from your post whether you have depression or not, but I can see that you're finding things hard and it worries me that the thought of dying doesn't bother you in the slightest. Even though this is your first post I kind of get the sense you've been dealing with this a while on your own.

Is seeing a therapist something you would consider? If you could let go of that story 'others have it worse' - then could it be worth it? I had a therapist who said she wishes everyone could go to therapy; either because they learn skills to stop it getting worse, or just for learning about yourself. As someone who has been to a therapist, I can vouch for one, but it's up to you and where you'd like to go next.

and finally - seeing a therapist or your GP can help prevent things from getting worse, but you always have the choice of treatment. Some people find medication helpful; others therapy; others both. So it's never too late.

SYork · ‎14-08-2018

Hi Boymumma,

I relate to feeling like others have it much worse, but I like to think of what you would say to someone else who was having the same feelings you're having. We're often much kinder to others than to ourselves.

Please believe me when I say that medication is not the worst thing that could happen to you. In fact, when I found a drug that worked for me, it was the best thing to ever happen to me. Please don't rule anything out, including counselling, etc.

It sounds like you may be missing someone to share your thoughts with, given you're looking after your child, maybe you just need some adult conversation?

Most of all, I would urge you to be kinder to yourself (easier said than done).

i feel for you, try to do something just for yourself. Even if that's finding someone to talk to.

We are here for you 🙂

LavenderTea · ‎16-08-2018

Hey there,

Thanks for posting. As the others have said, no problem is too small. If you think that this might be depression, then it's a good idea to get on top of it now, so that it doesn't get worse.

If you are feeling depressed, there are a few things that you can try to and help yourself feeling better:

Exercise is really important. I understand that as a mum, you're likely not going to have much time to yourself, but exercise can be really helpful since it releases endorphins (happy hormones) into your brain. It doesn't have to be a full workout or anything, just 10 minutes here and there.
Self care: this includes a range of things such as making time for yourself, doing something you enjoy (e.g. reading, watching a movie, seeing a friend), being kind to yourself - this is a big one! Understand that it's okay to have bad days every now and again.
Keep a tab on your thoughts: you've already identified some things that you start to think of when you feel down. Sometimes when this happens, people can get stuck in a loop of thinking negative thoughts, and it can get harder and harder to think clearly again. When you notice yourself starting to think this way, try distracting yourself. In saying this, whilst avoiding these negative thoughts can be helpful on a short-term basis, avoidance over a longer period of time is not healthy, so it might still be a good idea to have a chat with a GP so that you can get a referral and have a chat with a professional.
One more point - relaxation. It sounds like you're super busy with work, and with your child. Having some alone time is really important. Having alone time can help us to recharge our batteries, to let our mind have a break, and to reset. Techniques like mindfulness and meditation can be helpful, but it can be as easy as having a bath.

Hope this helps!

LT.