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Im not coping

Captain T
Community Member
Hi all. I just need to get this out somewhere. I am in a very dark place. I feel as though someone is sitting on my chest and have so much emotional pain yet feel numb at the same time. Im alone and lonely. I hate myself and who I am. I am so tired of fighting to get well and when I go to bed I pray to not wake up. I can’t keep going on like this. I need to get better
403 Replies 403

Dear Captain T
 
We know that it can be incredibly difficult to share our story, so we want to say thank you for showing such courage in posting and sharing that experience - you never know who will read this post and feel less alone on their own journey as also for you too.

We are sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time recently, but we’re so pleased you have reached out to the supportive community.  It is in moments like these, we like to offer a friendly ear to listen to these troubles and discuss any options or assistance that may be appropriate.

We are also here 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or via our webchat.  Our team who answer the phones are ready to have a supportive and non-judgmental chat whenever you need it.

Thanks again for sharing. It’s a powerful and brave first step towards feeling better.

Regards

Sophie M

Hi Captain T,

 

Im so sorry you have been feeling this way.

 

We are always here for you Captain T as a community please remember to reach out to us anytime we want to support you.

 

Im so glad that you are still here with us really I am….. and your therapist is correct you need to be alive to get the help that you need.

 

Captain T you too will be so grateful that you didn’t give up because you have so many blessings coming your way ….. you just don’t see it yet but you will.

 

I think it’s fantastic that you saw your therapist today and it was a good start.

Just stick with it and see it through even  on the path when it seems hard you need to see it through.

 

Hold onto hope Captain T it’s hope that will keep you moving forward.

 

Please reach out to us when ever you feel you want to we are more than happy to support you and hear about your journey.

🙏

 

 

Hello Captain T, we are so pleased to hear back from you and please remember that the road to recover just doesn't happen without any flaws, there can be times when we take a step back or feel as though we've fallen apart because something has triggered us to do so, but when this happens it's another way to slowly be able to build our strength up again, it may not seem to be that way, but eventually you will know why this happens.

No one has come back when they pass away, so we don't know what may happen to us, it's unknown and sure we can speculate and if you believe in a religion, then they will tell you.

A relapse may occur because you are put in another situation you are not prepared for and this does happen to all of us, but when you struggle then it's something else you need to learn on how to overcome.

The diffence between someone not suffering from MI is that they are capable of sorting out the problem, compared to someone who has a MI, they can't see the forest for the trees, that's why it's so difficult for them, but with help, this will establish a stronger person, who one day is able to help other people.

You can't rush any of this, although you want to, let yourself develop slowly Captain T.

Geoff. 

Life Member.

Captain T
Community Member

Thank you everyone for your support.

it’s good to know that it is a hard journey and that hopefully I’ll be a better person for it. 
It’s getting really hard to try and stick it out but I guess I have to. I can’t stop the thoughts of wanting to end it all but I guess if I do end it then there is no hope. 
It’s good to know that I do have support so thank you all. 
I do come back and read through in my good and bad moments. I think it’s possibly the only thing that has saved me. 

That’s ok Captain T we are happy to support you 😊

 

Thank you also for your kind words to us Im glad that we have helped you in some way but please remember you too are included in getting yourself this far you really are showing resilience Captain T, and this is something you will continually build on through out your journey.

 

I understand Captain T that you can’t stop the thoughts but through out my journey Captain T, this was something I learned that my mind did all on its own and I had no control over this but what I could control was my reaction to it.

 

When I had these thoughts I learned to just let them be there and calmly say to myself oh thanks brain here comes another one of your negative thoughts… 

 

or I d say oh great here’s another one 

 

I also learned that I could put what I wanted to put into my thoughts so I started over riding these thoughts and I’d start saying positive thoughts to myself eventually I successfully created a whole new mindset.

 

Captain T you will get through this , stick with your health professionals.

 

You have so much hope and when you get to the top of your mountain you will love the view.

 

keep going.

 

🙏

 

Hi Captain T,

 

Im just checking in on you to see how you have been going this weekend?

 

Captain T you are so STRONG right now in this present moment.

 

You are getting better just by reaching out to us and your health professionals.

 

Every day you are improving and you are so important.

 

Keep up the great work.

 

Thanks for the check in Petal22. 

I’ve been at work all weekend but it was rough. I have struggled quite badly. 


I went to the gp and had my meds re-adjusted and am waiting for a call from the mental health team at the hospital. It scares me that this is what happened as now I really know that I am not ok. 

 

It’s so much to take in. I thought I was in a bad place but to have it confirmed is very confronting. Hearing myself discuss where im at with the gp was like I was talking about someone else. I just felt nothing other than a complete disconnect with myself. It was really eerie. I wasn’t upset,  didn’t cry just very matter-of-fact. That in itself was quite strange. I know it doesn’t make sense. Im still trying to process it. 

Thank you  so much for being a support. I really do appreciate it.

 

Captain t 

Hi Captain T,

 

That's ok, happy to support you.

 

You ARE so RESILIENT Captain T really you are right now in this moment.

 

That's fantastic that you went to the gp and had your meds adjusted, well done.

 

Captain T you are on the right track to having the best possible mental health care right now, how fantastic that the mental health team at the hospital are going to give you a call.

They are there to help you Captain T and just by you reaching out they are in the process of helping you right now.

 

I understand that it is alot to take in and I understand with what you have explained your meeting with your gp was like. Your GP understands and also wants to help you.

 

When I was on my journey I also remember something similar happened to me I knew I wasn't feeling very good within my self and I remember just sitting infront of my doctor in a daze really just telling my doctor how I felt, I remember telling the doctor I didn't even know how I got to the doctors in a sense......... I knew I drove myself there but I was so far from feeling present I was just dazed and disconnected. My gp explained to me that it was the anxiety affecting me.

 

After this appointment I believe that I got the help I needed and it led me to my recovery.

 

Captain T you are going to meet some great people along your journey, in some ways you already have just by you reaching out, these people you meet along the way are really remarkable people and they just want to help you and see you well.

 

You are on your road to recovery just keep taking those steps.

 

Please keep updating us on your journey when ever you feel like you want to, we love hearing how you are going.

 

Hang in there you really are moving forward right now. 

I don’t feel very resilient at the moment.

 

I had my first app with the mental health team and got a diagnosis and told I need to see a psychiatrist. That has scared me so much. Every step I take to get help feels like I discover that I’m in a really bad place. This app felt really clinical and uncomfortable. Maybe the next one will be better. I’ve had a few first apps and continually go over the same ground. Hopefully the 2nd of these apps are much easier. I have my 2nd therapy, gp and mental health team apps in the next 3 days. I’m hoping this road to recovery gets easier and less rock bottom moments. 

I am really not ok tonight. I am so tired. I feel so drained and just have nothing left. I keep having to fight the urge to just not give up. 

Thanks for listening 

Dear Captain T
 
We are so glad for your continued contribution to the forums and bravery to share your experience this evening.
 
We can hear from your post that you were left feeling uncomfortable following your appointment with the mental health team and what may follow as a result.  Please know the strength and courage it takes to reach out for help and by attending your appointment with both your mental health team and the psychiatrist demonstrates this!  It might feel like they are going over old ground continually however it also sounds like they are very thorough in getting to the bottom of whatever may be the best fit, possibly medication in order for you to live the life you are deserving of; it also gives you a base to work from towards your recovery and and you are clearly playing a huge part in that, please make sure you are giving yourself credit for that.
 
We are going to reach out to you privately to offer additional support however as you are already aware, we are also here 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or via our webchat.  Our team who answer the phones are ready to have a supportive and non-judgmental chat whenever you need it.
 
We’re sure we’ll hear from some of our lovely community members here on your thread soon. Thanks again for your continued and valuable contributions to this community.
 
Regards
 
Sophie M