Hey Captain T,
I understand it can be hard being alone. I live alone and do struggle with being on my own at times. A couple of weeks ago I called Lifeline one night and just talked with someone. I find it does take the edge of that aloneness and is kind of calming having that human contact.
I have fewer options here, but when I lived in the city I would sometimes go to a cafe and read things on my iPad there. It was the kind of cafe where people often brought their laptop and did work there. They didn’t mind you hanging out for quite a while. I wonder if it would sometimes help you just to have that feeling of being amongst people? I’ve found it kind of comforting even if I’m not actually talking to anyone else, as it just helps me feel part of humanity. I know you have been reluctant to call helplines because of anxiety, but you may find it helps just to have a grounding chat with someone. I’ve occasionally had someone who wasn’t so helpful, but you can put that behind you and try again until you find someone you feel comfortable chatting to.
I think as humans we do need some form of social contact. It’s how we co-regulate to balance our nervous system and have a sense of belonging. I wonder if there are small ways you can make some connections, even just saying hello to people passing by? Perhaps you can get to chat to some other dog owners when out on a walk with your pup?
I hope your pup is doing ok. That’s an expensive vet bill. I’m so glad you have him. They truly are delightful. It sounds like you are having another visit to hospital soon. That sounds like it will be supportive for you based on your previous experience.
With photography, my favourite things to photograph are landscapes and wildlife, but I’m interested in many other types of photography too. Do you like to do any art Captain T, such as drawing or painting or anything else? A few weeks ago I bought some coloured pencils and paper to draw as I felt compelled to do some art therapy on myself. But I still haven’t gotten around to doing it! I think it will help me though to express some things from my inner self. I’ve kind of ignored the inner child in me for so long, so I’m trying to give her some ways of expressing herself.
Take care Captain T and I hope you can know you are not alone, even if it feels that way at times. Remember you can always communicate, as you have here, or call or do webchat on one of the helplines. Sending you kind thoughts.
