At the end of last year I was super excited about moving to a city that will allow me a better quality of life. I’d gone to visit there and was looking at rentals and planning the move. But because of border lockdowns I had to wait a few months before I could go back. In the meantime my depression relapsed and even though the borders are open I feel such apathy about the whole thing that it just feels like way too much effort for something I now don’t even care about.
I can’t get in touch with any of the positive feelings about the move, even though I rationally remember working out that it would be a very good thing in the long run. But my current mindset makes me feel like my positive feelings about it must have been untrue, and these current thoughts (that it’s all a bad idea) are in fact reality. I don’t know what to do/think.
A great opportunity came up for me in the new city, but it means I need to move in the next 6 months. But I’m spending most of my time struggling to just get off the couch and feel this looming limbo and apathy. My depression usually takes a VERY long time to improve (often years) so it feels like waiting around to feel better will just leave me stuck.
