Don't know what to do anymore.

[Andrewnapoles]

Hi, I'm Andrew I'm 16 years old and currently a Junior in high school and I don't know if I'm depressed or just sad, I live with my mom who is always talking down on me and always makes fun of me and says how stupid I am and it really hurts me cause I love my mom but she just hates me, I'm always finding myself not doing anything, even the simple task of waking up In the morning is a struggle, I don't feel like any things worth doing,  I used to love to hangout with friends all the time and I had plenty of friends and everyone knew me as the most out going and funnest to be around with, now I have absolutely no one besides myself. I have no family that cares, my dad tried to kill me when I was younger and always said that I wasn't his, my mom always puts me down and never has anything good to say about me, if I try to talk to her about my feelings she will just laugh in my face and turn it into a joke, I've never felt so horrible in my life, I'm never happy or sad, I just feel empty, my mind feels numb, I try to talk to school counselors but they're even worse, they just sit there and do nothing for you besides say "talk to your parents", I feel hopeless, I'm falling so behind in school it just adds a pile of stress to whats already there, with no one to go to I've turned to moderate drug use, I've been drinking every weekend possible  just so I can feel some happiness, I honestly hate life right now and I always think about suicide, I honestly don't see the light at the end of the tunnel and evaluating my situation right now I'm 100% sure I can't get help and things are only gonna go down. I'm just not a strong enough person to pull through on my own, I need the support that isn't there and that won't be there no matter what I try. 

[kyak88]

Hi Andrewnapoles,

It has taken a lot of courage for you to come on here and write what you did. It sounds to me like you are calling out for help. There are heaps of resources on this website to guide you, but I really think you should call someone or see a GP and tell them everything you just told us.

Good luck! 🙂

❤️

[geoff]

dear Andrew, yes it has taken a lot of strength for you to post on here, and I am so pleased that you have, because you are suffering from depression.

Being rejected by the constant berating by your mother is disgraceful, plus the torment from your father is hideous, and you're only 16 years old, but I'm sure all of this has been going on for a long time.

I am just wondering whether or not your mother is an alcoholic, and if I could I would put you under my wing and look after you I would.

What your father has said to you about not being his child only indicates that he believes she was sleeping around, and this of course only worsens your situation.

Are you able to contact ReachOut.com or Headspace.com as both of these look after adolescents in regards to all sorts of problems.

Andrew I am not in the position to tell you not to drink or use drugs, and would only talk about this if it was a face to face discussion, but your intelligent enough to know that you are only doing this because of your miserable situation, so we have to get the support that you need.

I really want to help you, because at 16 in are in dangerous waters of growing up, and your parents have not been of any help, so please see how you go with those sites, but more importantly reply back to us. Thanks. Geoff.

[vip]

Hi Andrew your mums behaviour here is not acceptable not quite sure why she is degrding you whether she has depression or other issues. Dont tolerate this from her or anyone in general its actually a form of bullying. Could you talk to a school counsellor about this and maybe get mum to sit in on the conversation to see how bad your emotional state has become. If you have been having disturbing thoughts then mum needs to be told by a professional person to back off and start listening to you and how depressed you have become. Also please visit a local gp and get on some meds or get a psych referrral Andrew you are in dangerous territory here and you need professional intervention do something about this quickly and well done for sharing this story on this forum . Goodluck an take care