Depression: dog vs black dog

[Sea-n-sky]

Some guy elsewhere in this forum, asked the question "How would we describe depression if it were a physical creature.

What a sensible question to ask.

The guy who asked, must be an intelligent guy, a guy with a future of success.

I can answer that question, but would first like to remind everyone that many famous

and successfull persons have experienced depression. (Burton and Taylor come to mind)

Indeed it seems likely that depression is a precursor to success, even to victory, in most dramatical terms.

The late Winston Churchill himself said he had been afflicted by deep depression for much of his life.

He called it Blackdog.

Therefore I will call it that too, when considering it as the "physical creature". Most human beings can relate to the dog, and will recognise the animal as being of varying temperament according to breed. The wolf is a dog, as is the dingo. Likewise the poodle, the pekinese and the labrador.

On the one hand, we have the wild feral destructive canine, whilst on the other we have the loveable domesticated pet.

Clearly therefore, depression can be represented by the dog.(Blackdog).

It is, all dogs, merged into one.

The loveable domesticated pet today, and a destructive feral  tomorrow.

If you own a dog, you train it. If you do not do that it will not become the loveable domestic pet you may desire. It may become something different entirely. It will likely become a menace, in fact.

The first step in training the animal is to treat it in precisely the same way as you would like it to treat you.

That way, the dog will become your friend - and yes, blackdog can be that too.

In training your dog, you feed it morsels of reward, treats or titbits if you like, when it behaves/responds as you would like it to.

Blackdog is no different.

Returning to Winston Churchill, Did he win World War II ? No of course not, but he was a leader and inspirer amongst allies, perhaps guided by Blackdog, the friend.

Blackdog, is no longer my demon.

I might be again one day, and if it is, I'll just remove the cause, if I can.

My pain is now greatly reduced, because of that. I even jog a bit now, (when walking).

I have to, in order, to keep up with a friendly blackdog, which is running ahead of me. (metaphorically speaking) 

If it can be true in my case, Why not yours ?

Cheers,

Sea-n-sky.

 

[Gopal]

Hi cant move forward, 

So good to hear that you have a place where you can laugh and have a good time. I am now looking for a place like this. But one major problem is that, I cant find the energy anymore to do anything. Not for finding a place even. Lets c how it goes for me.. 

[Neil_1]

We've got quite the little group here and I'm really enjoying it.  Ok, the posts are fragmented with tough issues, but that's what it's all about.  Opening up and venting and then letting others try to help and support.

So I've said it once and I'll say it again, "Sea 'n Sky;  this is one awesome thread you've created - thank you".

Gopal - ok, I've read your post from above and I'll give you what i think - SUPPORT.  That's what I reckon you need my friend - support.  And you'll get it in bucket loads here.  I hear you about your issues of guilt and the part about your Dad.  These things do weigh heavily with us and I might have mentioned that I've had so much counselling in my time over things and really it's so hard to open up your mind and to take in 'professional help'.  I mean, how can you - when they weren't there.  Sorry, that's not overly helping you.   But it's this weird illness also - where we focus on the negatives.  I was pleased to read where you said that you HAVE made good decisions, but for the life of you, you can't remember them right now.  That's depression all over.   It blows up the negatives to enormous levels and then anything good that we may have done is just pushed under the rug.

So that's the hard bit - how do we go about lifting that rug up and bringing back out the good stuff.

I believe it is to try and share those good things with others - and the more you can do that the better (oh oh, when I say others, I mean more so here) because you never know (and really you don't) you never know how other people in your life will take it if you talk about good things - OR - if you talk about bad things as well.

Gee, I hope I'm making sense here for you.

CMF:   I'm hearing you with your issue - I've read your thread on the other part of this site - I haven't responded as others are doing - basically cause I wasn't overly sure what to write.  But the more I hear about this, the more the only thing I could suggest is to wipe this person out of your life.  I believe they're poisoning you and your life and it's just not fair on you.

Especially now when we hear about your times in "your" coffee shop.  That is YOU and how you could be without this other negativity in your life.  I know it's easy for me to write this but in your instance, it's going to be something probably not even possible for you to do.

I hope this post has been ok for you both (Gopal)  and (CMF).

Neil

[CMF]

Gopal- baby steps. I understand not having the energy so just do it bit by bit. I have stated recently walking everyday like I used to, it helps me and 'my' coffee shop is a bonus. Do things slowly for now, make a list as you get through things you will see what you're achieving. I hear you when you talk about your guilt but you've acknowledged these things were not in your control. We cannot be in control of everything I believe we are on a path. You tried to help your father but help didn't arrive in time. You didn't cause help to arrive too late. your girlfriend cleared her conscience by blaming you you don't have to wear that blame, you've acknowledged that she did this to clear herself. I sense you are very sensitive but you didn't purposely cause these things to happen. 

Neil- I can't remove him from my life I just can't believe how many things go wrong around him. Deep down he is a good person He does what he can to help me out but don't know why things hope wrong, even for him. I wish I did y have this anger/depression towards him that comes and goes. Part of me hates him I will never forgive but part of me feels sorry for him, for being scared of commitment. What happened to make him like this and why did he have yo do what he did  to me? Was he that scared of his feelings for me?  

Any wY I can feel anger/ anxiety creeping up. I leave it there for now. 

[Gopal]

Hi All, I am having a problem, the communications in this thread has become so huge for me that I am not being able to replying to you all i think. I am sorry for that. Meanwhile I am trying to cop up by making a note of what I need to tell you all and then I would try to reply to all. Hope thats fine. Thanks 

[Sea-n-sky]

Hi Gopal,

That is just fine.

Everything in this thread will not apply to you, but some of it probably will.

What you are doing is precisely the right thing.

You seem to be sorting through it methodically, noting down the things important and relevant to you, and hopefully discarding the remainder.

That, I reckon, is very much a part of the perfect solution or remedial action..

Take your time, don't rush it. What you are doing is the right thing to do.

Take all the time that you need.

I am sure you are on the right track.

Good work .

Kindest regards,

Sea-n-sky.

[CMF]

We'll the black dog is back. It's Father's Day he went out with his family. He thought my other kids were with their dad(they weren't) yet I wasn't asked to go with our daughter. I probably wouldn't have gone but still it's his daughter. I thought they would at least ask. So much for being " part of the family". No one can break into their little circle, their secrets.  Did they even think of us? I wish I could go to my little coffee shop. 

Am I over reacting?

[Sea-n-sky]

Hi CMF,

R U over - reacting ?

Well possibly.

One thing for sure though - Back to that coffee shop - you must go.

Forget about fathers day - it's past.

Think of tomorrow.

Don't dwell on the past - It has gone !!!!!!

Sea-n-sky.

[CMF]

yeah, even that didn';t work today.  the great barista wasn't there today so the atmosphere was very quiet.  plus HE apparently has the ay off and we were meant to do things but I've heard nothing.  either be in my life or out of it instead of around when it suits you.  HE is my black dog, he and his mum. Its nice that he comes over and cooks great dinners when he can will do things to help out but tis so inconsistent.  I'm not a patient person and I won't sit and wait anymore like I did in the past.  I am who I am, I will dress how I want to dress and wear make up if I want to.  and I;m not doing this for some other guy I'm doing it for ME.  I can't wait for tomorrow when a new day starts cos this one sucks.

[CMF]

Sea n sky

if you read my other thread 'accused of infidelity' this may all make more sense.

CMF

[Sea-n-sky]

CMF,

Ok I'll see if I can find that other thread - and try to understand it all.

Anyhow the coffee shop may be great again tomorrow, so don't give that pleasure away.

And yes you are who you are, and you recognise that, which is good.

Your blackdogs inconsistency must be annoying at times, but think of the better times. I know they exist sometimes because you have told us they do. You must start looking forward to the next nice dinner, and just have a ball at the coffee shop meanwhile.

You go ahead and continue to dress just as you like and wear what make up you like. If you are doing it for yourself as you say, then that's what's important - nothing else.

Tomorrow will be better I feel sure.

Besides, if you didn't have an occasional down day, you wouldn't know what a good day was like and life would become just boring.

Cheers.