Depression and sensitivity - a connection?

[white knight]

I'm asking you.

How many of you have depression but it isnt triggered by your sensitivity? Or is triggered by sensitivity.?

My depressive cycle has gone from 10 straight days (approx) every 8 weeks to a few hours now and then say every 3 weeks.  Improvement has come from correct diagnosis and medication.

However regardless of this change my sensitivity has been the common ground all my life. There has always been a trigger. What is the trigger in my case? Hurtful comments. These can come in the form of  eg - people saying accusing me of one or more of the following- being childish, thick minded (not getting what other perceive as obvious), being a little manic, saying the inappropriate thing, acting withdrawn, etc

At all times I've discovered through self observation, my trigger has involved another person or persons comments. And obviously 'they' cant all be wrong. My sensitivity is what has plummeted me into depression and it's so hard to overcome or rather its so uncomfortable.

So I was thinking, I can take an empty pill bottle and mark on it "anti-sensitivity pills" and put on a mask. Every time there is a gathering and I am hurt by comments I'll blurt out a fake laugh. When other realise I am not being sensitive ie that when their cutting comment doesnt hit home like they often do....I'll reach into my pocket and pull out that bottle and show them why they didnt succeed.

Such is my anger or contempt. for others that hurt me. I havent tried this but I think I will. I'm fed up. The alternative is hibernation and that hasnt worked only to a degree so I have semi withdrawn from people. Hiding away should not be the answer.

How many others have this sensitivity that is so fragile it takes you immediately into the dark place? And do you have a strategy in dealing with it.

[white knight]

Hi Mister M

I'm sorry you lost your job. Returning aggression must be measured aggression, controlled aggression and lets not forget the greatest of all- wise aggression in the form of the verbal counter punch.

Six years ago I had a slight disagreement with a fellow forum member of a motoring club. A private message in the form of "go get more medication nutter" was deplorable and I felt as you did, in a rage. So I told the president and he did phone the guy then concluded it was a "storm in a tea cup". To sum up- we live and work in a grey society that does not cater fairly with the victims. So where does that leave the likes of you and me?

Well firstly in your case that boss doesn't deserve your employ. Any boss that allowed that situation to occur in such a short space of time of you working there isn't worth working for. Also, having only worked there a short time you might not have been aware of the "chemistry" of the workplace, the hidden jealousies, the career aspirations of some people etc. They, he, might have seen you as a threat?

Wit is another topic here. I once wrote an article called   "Topic: Wit- the only answer to torment - Beyondblue" Google it for a read.  It means basically to prime your mind ready for these aggressive characters, when they strike- you have an answer ready for them. Doing this will lessen the likelihood of days/weeks of torment, stewing over and over the issue.

Finally, be kind to yourself. Don't punish yourself for actions that were done by others. You have a right to react how you naturally react. But keep learning to hone your skills to avoid conflict in the first place, learn to sum up people better then if you suspect trouble back away, dart and weave so they don't get opportunity to attack.  Find out their interests. eg which footy club they follow. Then make a comment in ear shot of them to someone else "I follow the best club- the bulldogs"...and so on. Before you know it you have avoided an attack. That person will think you're a top fellow and is unaware you have placed strategies to avoid conflict.

Don't think all workplaces are the same. All bosses aren't the same. Once you have recovered, rebound and try again for another job.

Take care.

Tony WK

[MisterM]

Thank you Tony.

[CMF]

Hi Chicken Wings,

I think what you are describing is called 'projective thinking'. we may have a negative thought about people but convince ourselves that it is they that think negatively of us.  Im guilty of this, convince myself that people don't like me but in fact I am annoyed by things they do.

Of course if we think people think negative things about us we would feel depressed, especially if we do not have a reason why they would think that.

going back to me earlier post on this thread I believe when we are depressed we become more sensitive and if we are sensitive we are more prone to depression.  I think they go hand in hand.

[Shivers88]

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis.

Can an inask what symptoms you experienced before you got diagnosed?? X

[white knight]

Hi all,

This thread I started over two years ago I thought I'd give you all an update of my sensitivity.

Back then my emotions were out of control. I decided to reject Facebook for 5 months to see if I could get that media into proper perspective.

With Facebook the saying "if you have nothing nice to say say nothing at all" doesn't work. Mere opinion can draw nastiness. So it is our responsibility to grow that thicker skin if we want to use that medium successfully. What is "successfully".?

It is with little conflict, growth of friendships that mean more than cyber friends and education. To educate ourselves in how we deal with others and how we react to them

Importantly we, the sensitive, need to grow with our emotions. Other people cannot be the sole bearer of our actions. We have to OWN our imperfections.

I spoke to a dear friend this morning. I told her that an over reaction I made some time ago on our Facebook motoring club site was unacceptable. Instead of yet another apology I decided to allow action instead of words make a statement of my efforts. It has paid off.

We cannot altogether solve our sensitivity issues, being part of our childhood era or DNA. But we can make effort....appreciation often follows...

And that my friends is the goal to aim for.

Tony WK

[white knight]

Since commencing this thread over 2 years ago, I've been monitoring my own sensitivity, trying to somehow find out if ...when depressed I was more sensitive. Easy right? No, nothing is easy to evaluate such things. There is also the risk of overthinking things.

A few weeks ago I consulted my GP and he agreed that I needed to lower my dose of anti depressants. Having Bipolar type 2 meant a large amount of mood stabilisers but a small dose of AD's. Too much AD's can cause other issues. So I reduced my AD's slowly and I really did become more reactive to others words. I also went into my shell easier and lasted inside that shell longer.

I returned to my original dose of Ad's with the knowledge, some say priceless knowledge, that adjusting medication is all well and good with your GP's approval, but if you get it in the "ball park" be satisfied.

Do you have ideas on how to be less sensitive? Do you have methods of responding of thinking things through that you assist you in dealing with others so you don't fall into an upsetting mood?

I'd be interested in your views.

Tony WK

[CMF]

Hi TonyWK,

What a coincidence you have posted this as I have been in exactly this situation. Overthinking, getting aggravated and stressed and hardly slept at all last night. I was in a very upset mood and I could feel myself feeling defeated and wanting to give up.

What I've found is that while I am feeling this way, I react very quickly to things, probably quicker than the other person expects. I am trying to learn to hold off on my response/reaction until I am satisfied I have a clear head.. I had a situation yesterday with my ex husband. An email I received from him got my back up. I started writing back and was ready to have a go at him but decided to stop and wait. He didn't need an immediate response and it wasn't an urgent issue, in fact it is something that is to be dealt with next year. After a sleepless night and trying to think of how to respond I decided to gather some facts re the issue and I then emailed him when I was calmer and asked if we could address the issue next year when it is due to be addressed and that I wasn't really thinking about it at this time as there were more pressing issues at this point in time. I am hoping I can not think about it until I need to especially as I have a lot on my plate right now and that is not at the priority therefore I do not want to make it a priority in my mind as it will stop me focusing on what I need to focus on now.

I'm trying to teach myself that everything does not require and instant reaction as I've noticed other do not react instantly to me.

I hope this is of some help, actually I hope it is on the right path of what you are asking. Its hard to have a tough skin sometimes you just have to not care about things to avoid the sensitivity.

cmf

[white knight]

Hi CMF

When we are programmed a certain way it isn't easy yo change but putting your issues next year to...well next year us wisdom and we often don't use our wisdom enough.

My niece has an issue with eating. She has some anxiety and while eating she doesn't pause, a constant act of shovelling in the food.

Ive pointed it out to her. Now, when visiting I just lower my knife and fork so she gets the hint. But its an oh slow process of reprogramming her so she'll relax. If not she could end up with ulcers.

In terms of our ex's CMF, it is particularly important that you don't jump to please quickly especially if he has expectations you would.

Its your schedule that's as important as other's.

Tony WK

[blondguy]

Hi Tony

Im sorry I missed your thread topic and an excellent/valid one too!

I remember being bullied in primary school in Canada. With a combination of a very nervous and jittery mother and a super controlling violent father I just feel that it was the perfect breeding ground for my over sensitivity throughout my whole life.

Regular counselling and the right meds have helped but my inner self is still over sensitive. I hope people in my life can forgive me for that.

another great thread by the master, Nice1 Tony WK

My Best

Paul

[white knight]

You should always be forgiven Paul because you never have evil intent.

As a fellow sensitive guy, we hibernate from conflict, luck our wounds then return to live another day.

We are both survivors

Tony WK