I thought I'd post here because I am completely lost. I've been going to
therapy, taking antidepressants and I think they have helped me to the
extent they can. I've tried lifestyle changes which just don't work out
for one reason or another, and I a...
View more
I thought I'd post here because I am completely lost. I've been going to
therapy, taking antidepressants and I think they have helped me to the
extent they can. I've tried lifestyle changes which just don't work out
for one reason or another, and I am deflated, hopeless and completely
lost. I don't know if depression is fuelling my unhappiness at work or
if work is the cause of the depression but it makes it hard to function
properly. Long story short, I lived a fast-paced corporate life pretty
much as soon as I graduated high school. High achiever, always pushing
myself, working full-time, studying full-time, maintaining a
ridiculously high GPA. I spent 8 years of my life like this, and fitting
myself to the mould. I knew the type of person employers wanted, I knew
how to behave, what goals to set... I set myself up for a high-paying,
successful career and always had a good income. Well, that crashed and
burned badly. I suffered severe burnout. I left that life because my
body just gave up on me. All before the age of 25. After time off, I
looked for work outside that high-pressure, all-hours sphere. But ever
since, I have been completely lost. Before all this, I never worried
about what I would eat or how I would pay the psychologist/GP. Before
the burnout, I actually enjoyed what I did. I was working on complex
work and had ownership of tasks. Since coming back to work, I have
bounced from job to job, miserable in everything I have done. We
struggle with money now. I feel myself going around in circles every
time I look for another job. Everything I am qualified to do does not
interest me, and I will probably just be miserable. Things that interest
me either won't pay the bills or I am unqualified for. I have tried
going back to study twice and dropped out twice because I am still too
burnt out to take on more study. I just can't cope with it. So I am at a
complete loss because finding other jobs in my (corporate) field doesn't
seem to help. It is just not the right field that I studied, and I wish
teenage, people-pleaser me knew that. My unhappiness/lack of
motivation/lack of inspiration with what I do everyday is starting to
impact other things, affect my partner, my relationship, libido long
gone, I don't have motivation to gym, and only sometimes do I have the
energy to apply for jobs that seem half decent that I am qualified for.
Those jobs tick some boxes, but even then don't appeal to me. Words of
wisdom much appreciated!