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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 0

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Poss42 Feeling like a Failure
  • replies: 10

Everything I seem to do is wrong. I'm starting a new job next week and I'm scared that I'll fail and let everyone down. I've been drinking too much and sent a message to one of my friends that was hurtful and now I feel sick with guilt and will event... View more

Everything I seem to do is wrong. I'm starting a new job next week and I'm scared that I'll fail and let everyone down. I've been drinking too much and sent a message to one of my friends that was hurtful and now I feel sick with guilt and will eventually have to face them. One of my other friends sent me a message saying I was nasty and not a true friend. Alcohol always seems to get me into trouble and I say or do things I don't mean. I need to try and give up drinking I'm not an alcoholic and don't drink every day but I do binge and drink most to every weekend. I need help to try and stop drinking as I really do believe things would be allot better if I got help but I don't know where to get help? As I don't think AA would suit what I need. I'm single over 40 and feel that my opportunity to have children had passed me by, I'm over weight, have no drive to exercise, some Saturdays I spend the whole day in bed and wonder why I'm here at all. I feel empty inside and don't know what to do. I don't feel like a good person today and just feel sick.

Allisonanne Feel so alone in this
  • replies: 5

I am sitting here after just signing up with this site, because I just need to find someone who understands. I am presently crying while typing and haven't a clue why. I have suffered from depression for many years & have tried lots of different medi... View more

I am sitting here after just signing up with this site, because I just need to find someone who understands. I am presently crying while typing and haven't a clue why. I have suffered from depression for many years & have tried lots of different medications, some didn't work & some were ok. I then went to a Psychologist because I felt suicidal, for no reason, and after a few sessions felt the best I had ever felt & found that just getting lots of junk out & seeing it for what it was, was liberating. So what's happened? Am I ever going to be free of this? Am I ever going to be able to come out of self imposed isolation because I don't want people to see my emotional frailty? My family members tend to avoid me as one day I am there for them & the next, I'm hiding under the bed, my husband keeps telling me to get a grip & I sincerely wish I could oblige him!! In my family, I am the mother/sister/wife/Grandma who needs to be there for them and more than anything I would love to be that person & aspire to be that person, but when I am not coping, they see me as unstable & someone to avoid. My solution to avoiding this kind of hurt is to hide & disconnect from those who are close to me. I find their altered treatment of me, because of my condition, to be condescending & unbearable, it's like a vicious circle.I think a lot of the problem is loneliness and the need to connect with people who understand this journey. beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

just_let_go A girl is bringing back my depression
  • replies: 11

Hi All, been a while. A few months back I started on medication for my depression and anxiety and I had a great response to it. I went from being in a constant struggle every single day to feeling like my old self again just over a couple of months. ... View more

Hi All, been a while. A few months back I started on medication for my depression and anxiety and I had a great response to it. I went from being in a constant struggle every single day to feeling like my old self again just over a couple of months. I started seeing the light again and got over the issues that was troubling me horribly. I even started to get back into dating again... And then I met her. This girl I knew through high school suddenly came into my life again. We met at a party, got talking, I got her number and we went out a week later. Everything went well. We went out a few more times, then more and more frequently. And then I realised that I had completely fallen for this girl. I cannot stop thinking about her. Every time she left my house I hated it. I just want to be with her all the time. So I did the only thing I could and I told her the way I felt. She said it's not a good time and she just wants to be friends. Okay that's her decision, fair enough, she did get out of a relationship about a month ago. But I'm still seeing her. A lot. Like 3 - 4 times a week. She laughs at everything I say, we message each other constantly, she sends me flirty photos, whenever she comes over we end up cuddling on the couch. How is this what friends do? Bottom line is I just can't take it. My depression and anxiety have come right back because of this. The fact that she's become such a large part of my life yet she isn't my girlfriend is just killing me. She's hangs out with other guys sometimes too. That's when my anxiety and depression just goes insane. I guess i'm still hopeful that something might come out of this. Even her friends tell me that she likes me. Everything was fine until she came into my life. Now the only time I feel good is when I'm with her or messaging her. Thanks for reading, I just really needed to vent this. Love hurts.

Lehnah Competative Play and Dealing With Losing
  • replies: 4

I'd like to ask others here how they deal with losing at any form of comparative play. A few months ago my sisters boyfriend introduced me to Magic: The Gathering. For those that may not know, it's a collectible card game in you build a deck made up ... View more

I'd like to ask others here how they deal with losing at any form of comparative play. A few months ago my sisters boyfriend introduced me to Magic: The Gathering. For those that may not know, it's a collectible card game in you build a deck made up of spercific cards and battle others. There are thousands and thousands of variables that can potentially come into play depending on the deck you play against and your own deck. It is a very mentally taxing game, lots of strategy and you've no idea how the deck you have will play until you play it against someone. Anyhoo, I've been going with friends to Magic game night and I have been enjoying it for the most part. However, I find that if I have a bad night, say I lose each game or, even worse, get utterly smashed, I get really depressed and consider giving up all together. For example, last night I lost every game. I had a new deck that I had been working very hard on. My friends helped me put it together and make it better. We tested it against various deck and every time it went really well. Even if I didn't win, it was very close. Last night at the game night, though, I was thrashed. Utterly. Every game. What I experienced was a mix of anger at"wasting" all this time building the deck, having my friends help me with it and playing game after game with them to test it; frustration at having it perform really well in those test games only to get thrashed at the actual game night and depression thinking that everyone there probably thinks I'm a useless, rubbish player and if they come across me with think "this guy, he's crap. I'm gonna thrash him." It made me feel very worthless and I just wanted to get out of there and hide away. By the time I got home I'd calmed down a little. I was still somewhat depressed but decided to chalk it up to having a bad night and I'd try a different deck next week. It stuck me how affected I'd been by the experience, however, and wondered if it was indeed my depression coming through or I just didn't know how to deal with losing. I'v never been into sport or really any other kind of competitive play so I guess I've not had much experience with losing. So, the question is do you think my feeling were depression related, or related to my lack of experience and how can I deal with this in the future? Any advice would be much appreciated. Cheers.

rat17 Confused and rattled
  • replies: 2

A couple of years ago I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and PTSD (I think this is what its called) anyway at first I could not accept it, took 18 months for me to absorb, reject and fight. Now I feel im in a world of my own. I feel people don'... View more

A couple of years ago I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and PTSD (I think this is what its called) anyway at first I could not accept it, took 18 months for me to absorb, reject and fight. Now I feel im in a world of my own. I feel people don't understand what I say, lost within myself. Some days I go a million miles to the dozen others I struggle to motivate. it is such a roller coaster. I thought I hit rock bottom when I was diagnosed until a couple of weeks ago I was hospitalized due to a suicide attempt. Now I don't feel like im bouncing back, trapped. When I talk to my family its like watching there face go here we go again . Im just lost.....beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Glenslifeisnotgood Feeling utterly worthless
  • replies: 6

I'm Glen, 35 and yet again single. I would describe myself as (when I'm normal) funny, optimistic, helpful, caring and understanding, sporty and a good guy. In the last 10 years I have done my absolute best to be a great friend, a good worker and try... View more

I'm Glen, 35 and yet again single. I would describe myself as (when I'm normal) funny, optimistic, helpful, caring and understanding, sporty and a good guy. In the last 10 years I have done my absolute best to be a great friend, a good worker and try to hopefully have a wife and family of my own. However whenever I try to improve my current situation I keep getting crapped on ie started at a gym - got cancer, started a uni degree - job changed so had to defer, had a good relationship - out of nowhere she gets pregnant and wants an abortion (she was on the pill) and I got no say in it. That's just to name a few of the utterly terrible things that have happened to me over the last year but this kind of crap has been happening to me for the last 10 years. I'm seriously at a point where I can barely find a reason to keep going as everything I try just blows up in my face with crap that's out of my control. Apparently being nice nowadays means you get stepped on, being chivalrous and respectful to your girlfriend isn't bring a "real man", I'm so tired of waking up everyday and knowing if it wasn't for pain and suffering I would have no purpose in life at all. I saw the ad on tv for this so thought I'd give it a go before finding a permanent solution to end thisonce and for all, I've tried many different therapists who have told me to "keep doing what your doing" but when does the point in life come where it starts rewarding you with love and respect for doing the right things instead of continual suffering and heartache? help....please...Glen beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

JustTiffanyxo What if this is who I am?
  • replies: 4

Last night, I was watching TV with my partner (some WWE thing, not my thing, but he enjoys it so I watched with). Anyway, the episode/story we watched was quite emotionally charged, with the main wrestler having died very suddenly a few days after he... View more

Last night, I was watching TV with my partner (some WWE thing, not my thing, but he enjoys it so I watched with). Anyway, the episode/story we watched was quite emotionally charged, with the main wrestler having died very suddenly a few days after he got this big award or something. (not entirely sure) but all I know is that he died. Well that did it for me, I HAVE NO IDEA WHY, but tears started leaking down my face. I started to sob. My partner asks what's wrong? I tell him, I don't know. How can I tell him what's wrong when I don't even know myself? I sat down next to him on the lounge and he gave me a hug. I told him that I just don't know whats wrong with me, that I can't pinpoint one particular thing and say 'yeah thats it, that's why I'm sad". He gives me another hug, and says 'I don't know why you are depressed for, things aren't that bad." well holy crap the tears started pouring down even more. I said to him "so you don't think there's a reason for me to be depressed? or you just don't understand why i'm depressed?" Thank god he said the latter, but it still hurt a bit, you know? He's very black and white, if something doesn't fit, he just let's it go. I am not like this. There are so many different shades of grey between those black and white points. I over analyse things, where as he just makes a consecutive decision. I dwell, he moves forward. I have told him over and over again that if I could have just even a little bit of the strength he had to be able to live in a black and white world, my life would be so much easier. But, of course, that can't happen. I will never see things as black and white. What if this is who I am? A person who cries at the drop of a hat, who's broken, who has a mental illness. I'm spending so much money on medications and psychologists, and psychiatrists that it's starting to become a little overwhelming. Things aren't getting better. What if this is it. This is me, broken, unable to be fixed?

Chloekat84 Feeling Depressed and needin to Vent
  • replies: 2

Hello Everyone. Ive written on this site before. I have BPD and Dysthymia and feeling very emotional and depressed. I went to a emergency refuge clinic as I wasn't coping with anything at home and I had time to think and reflect about myself and didn... View more

Hello Everyone. Ive written on this site before. I have BPD and Dysthymia and feeling very emotional and depressed. I went to a emergency refuge clinic as I wasn't coping with anything at home and I had time to think and reflect about myself and didn't need to worry about my daughter as my folks were looking after her for a week while I was there. Then when I came out my grandma came to stay with me for 3 weeks as she heard I wasn't that well so she travelled all the way from Darwin. She leaves tomorrow evening and I feel very upset about it and know that im going to be completely on my own since I was in the clinic. To make things worse my sister is upset with me as she thinks shes not welcome here because one day she wanted to come over and said I was busy so she just said she'd see my dad and now she thinks im only going to want her company when my grandma leaves. Shes currently pregnant and very emotional so I think that may have something to do with it. Im upset about all of this and don't know what to do as ill be all alone and no one to talk to. :'( :'(

Small_Inside Feeling insignificant and worthless
  • replies: 2

I'm not really sure where to start. Just that I don't really expect this to accomplish anything, but that's my catastrophic nature, I guess. I'm 35 and I've struggled with depression for longer than I knew what it was, as far back as primary school. ... View more

I'm not really sure where to start. Just that I don't really expect this to accomplish anything, but that's my catastrophic nature, I guess. I'm 35 and I've struggled with depression for longer than I knew what it was, as far back as primary school. I have only been on medication for about 2 years now. I have trouble sleeping and feel tired ALL the time. My story is not that dramatic. The more I read people's stories and see the things going on in other people's lives and what they have had to deal with, the more I think that what I feel is totally unreasonable and selfish, and I can't seem to break that pattern of thinking. My life is okay, there's nothing remarkable about me. I'm employed (though not in a job I love). I grew up with a single parent (mum), who loves me. We were not well off, but had what we needed. My mum and at least one of my sisters have also struggled with depression. I try not to burden them when I have bad days because I know they struggle too. And there's the cowardly part of me that knows I'm not particularly good at dealing with other people's emotions and I feel totally unable to handle their situations on top of my own. That makes me feel even more worthless and selfish. How can I expect them to be there for me when I feel I can't be for them? Another example of my cowardly nature concerns my grandfather who is very sick and has been for some time. I don't go to see him very often, and never by myself, because I feel so uncomfortable there now. I know this upsets him because his family is everything to him. My mum called me tonight at work to tell me he had had a fall and was in the hospital. Tomorrow he goes into surgery and no-one is sure that he will come out of it. Apparently Pop was asking to see me and wondering why I didn't go to see him as much as the others do. The thought of having that conversation with him is terrifying to me. I got off the phone and was in tears, thinking about how awful a granddaughter I've been. He is suffering a lot more than I and I can't get the courage to give him the one thing that keeps him going, though all others around me can. What does that say about me as a person? This post was supposed to be cathartic. I appreciate your time if you've managed to work your way through this pity party.

Jo3 Depressed with my life - confused
  • replies: 5

I have been dealing with a lot of issues lately and it's been tough. I am married (28 yrs) and have 3 adult children (22,21,18)I don't know how to start so I will just blurt it out - I don't know if I still love my husband. Don't even know if I am 'i... View more

I have been dealing with a lot of issues lately and it's been tough. I am married (28 yrs) and have 3 adult children (22,21,18)I don't know how to start so I will just blurt it out - I don't know if I still love my husband. Don't even know if I am 'in love' with him still. i know people change and i know i have changed a lot in the past 4 yrs dealing with childhood sexual abuse, depression, anxiety and borderline personality disorder. i have confused not sure if i should stay or go; i do have good times together sometimes but thereseems to be a lot of pressure and it's causing me to withdraw from him, my family and friends. i need to stay on here to chat to others because i feel so alone; does anyone have any advice or have any of you felt like me before. what should i do to try to work out what i want? i am scared of the future; i am scared of where i am in my mind right now.jobeyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.