Numbness

[13579]

I fell like I need a little bit of help. In my teens I was diagnosed with O.C.D. The anxiety passed over from this time to university. However, during this time I could feel excitement and joy mixed in with all the negative feelings I was facing. Now, I can't feel anything apart from anxiousness amongst numbness. I hold a great job and changed career paths to control my stress, have a sweet partner, supportive family but I feel nothing.

1. For example: I saved and partially planned for a trip with my partner to a "dream destination" the excitement I felt the entirety of the trip is the same if he told me we were taking a trip to Coles to buy Spam. However, the anxiety from the plane trip alone made me cry and hyperventilate the whole flight. 

I have tried to talk it out but it doesn't do anything in terms of my mental state. I can't feel joy any more. Is this normal for adults or is there more to this?

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

This reminded me of my previous partner. We attended a counsellor over issues. One major issue was that I had a keen hobby say model airplanes and my partner didnt. My partner would get angry if I stayed up till the early hours gluing and cutting. I couldnt see a need for her to object. So upon me telling the counsellor of her objections the counsellor looked at my partner and asked "so, do you have a passion"? .. "No" she said. And therein lies the answer I needed, that some people dont have passions, hobbies, interests and those people often feel a life of emptiness - compared to those that do. The problem now is that a passion is something that comes naturally like model planes were from my early childhood and I even joined the Air Force. So there lies another challenge.

You have tried to limit your stress with career change and that is really admirable as it rarely happens. Kudos for being proactive. However it appears anxiety is a major concern and it is a major mental health issue not to be underestimated. A trip to your GP is a good idea to discuss it but I also have a link to an article that might help you also (but not in place of the GP).

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-how-l-eliminated-it/td-p/183873

It is very hard for anyone to help you with finding stimulus. We are all such individuals. Eg My daily routine cannot be a routine, it must include variety. mornings I might tinker in the shed, afternoon go on this forum, evenings I'll cook. Then this morning I cooked pies. Always something different. That give me the stimulation I need and removes chances of boredom.

Have you ever had a hobby? Please share them if you feel ok about it. Also how is your partner and you going? Has there been any problems?

TonyWK

[13579]

Hi, I have had many hobbies. I am a crafty person but I hold no interest in it any more. I know this is a sign of depression. I am functioning, I am trying my best to get back into things I once enjoyed but I cannot will myself to do it. Thank you both so much for replying to me. I feel the most seen I have been in years. 

[mmMekitty]

Hello 13579

Looking at your posts here, I am thinking this may be the time to consider reaching out to your GP, & maybe finding someone to talk to. The GP can help you with that. It's very difficult to deal with these things you are trying to deal with on your own.

Of-course, you are welcome to talk here, & I'm sure there is lots of info on BB, & many people have great ideas to try, but I don't think this is quite as good as finding a mental health worker you can talk to.

I wish you all the best, & for you to care for yourself, too,

Hugzies

mmMekitty