Mother's Day 2015

[Doolhof]

Hi everyone. Mother's Day can mean so many things to different people. I am wondering how you all think about Mother's Day?

Do you have a close relationship with your Mum, Nana, Grandma, Mother in law, Aunty or a lady in your life who is like a Mother to you?

If you are a Mum, how do you feel about that role in your life? If you have never been a Mum due to choice or circumstances, how does that make you feel?

For me, Mother's Day can be a sad and lonely time, and at the same time I can celebrate with my Mum and my Mother in law.

Am I a Mum? Yes and no. I have been pregnant 5 times but have no live children.

I have a Mum whom I try so hard to love and care for but who also has mental health issues so the relationship is often strained and hard to live with at times. It seems often that Mum is not aware of how much pain she causes people. But she is still my Mum.

So are you looking forward to Mother's Day or are you dreading it?

If it is the latter, then try to come up with things you can do now to ensure you do not feel too much sadness, regret, misery and pain on Mother's Day.

We will be catching up with my Mother in law this year and I will phone my Mum as she lives too far away for me to visit unless I stay over night. I will be thinking of my babies with lots of love and may mark the day with flowers for myself, or I may light some candles.

I will leave this for now and see what replies I receive.

Cheerio for now, from Mrs. Dools,   Lauren

[HA1]

Not for you TMB - no offence!  lol

But congrats to Mrs Dools for 1000 posts - epic.

[Doolhof]

Hey, thanks for this, White Knight alerted me to the fact.

I am still waiting for the balloons and streams to drop from the ceiling with all of the confetti, but it hasn't happened yet! Ha. Ha.

Honestly, it is so wonderful to be a part of this amazing forum and I am so very pleased I was able to find it and have stuck around.

I receive just as much from posting to others as I do in receiving encouragement in return.

Congratulations goes to everyone involved in this forum!

Cheers to you all from Mrs. Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi TMB

Once again my friend you have covered so much in your post! Thanks for the congrats regarding the 1000 posts.

Regarding feeling tired when driving, I open the windows if I am really feeling sleepy and that helps me to stay awake especially when it is only about 10 degrees.

My book has been on my mind, so yes I will dig it out again and continue on with that...next week. Ha. Ha. Actually in Tuesday I have to take my husband to a hospital for some tests, so I might take my notes and read through them in the car. Good idea hey! Better still, in a café where it will be warmer.

If you ever feel like "chatting" about your MI issues, I will be a willing and caring listener. (I know what MI stands for! Ha. Ha.)

It is great you have friends you can catch up with. I too enjoy just chilling with friends, driving about in the country and going for long walks. I love the beach too and don't get there often enough.

You mentioned you enjoy Asian food, do you try to cook any yourself? I know it is not quite the same as going to a restaurant though where they have all the ingredients required.

My husband and I have done a lot of travelling overseas, but now he has not worked for so long, those days are on hold for a while. Some of the most fascinating places we have been to are Syria, Jordan, Myanmar and Laos.

Do you know what has made you feel a little anxious and stressed? It is not always easy to step outside of our comfort zones, but sometimes it can be so beneficial.

Yes, I do suffer from stress and anxiety. This new medication is helping a lot with that but as I mentioned, it has me feeling so far the other way, I would like a balance. Instead of tackling life at a million miles and hour, now I am plodding along at a snail's pace or so it seems.

Unfortunately I have found it is my husband who stresses me out the most in life so I have been working on ways to combat that. It has certainly helped now he is on ADs himself. He is a much different person, I can actually communicate with him now!

Some days it still surprises me when he actually comes up to talk to me, that hasn't happened for years!

Today I'm catching up with a couple from CFS for a chat and a walk if it isn't raining too heavy. Then other friends are coming around in the afternoon.

Hope your weekend turns out okay and your stress levels drop!

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[the_motorcycle_boy]

Hi Mrs Dools,

It is good to see you're getting motivated re: your book. A warm cafe sounds like an excellent place to put the feet up and the head down.

Thanks a lot for your offer to 'chat" about my MI issues. I don't really know where to start or what to say. For me, it's a very hard thing to disclose. Not sure why. Fear? Well, I'll give you a quick summary.

I fell sick with depression and melancholia in April, 1991, after some serious misadventures, I underwent  ECT. I recovered well until Oct'92 when with my doctor's approval, I went off medication. Sick again 2 months later, I had  ECT with no improvement.

Since that time I have been sick and only now am I nearing normality again. The depression is still present but is much less severe than it was. I hope to be fully well one day but realize this mightn't be the case. However, I am relatively happy now.

I really value one good friend too. This particular friend has stood by me this past year or so when I have been angry, down, unmotivated, frustrated etc due to my illness. Never given up on me.

Now that I am getting well I'm finding I need to mix with more people. And so I visited BB again. And so far it's been a great experience.

My cooking can't be compared to a restaurant meal, favourably! Just joking. Actually I make a dish which I call "noodles, tuna and eggs". And you guessed it, it contains noodles, tuna and eggs! Seriously, the noodles are Hot and spicy Thai noodles. All up it is a very tasty, cheap, nutritious meal.

Wow, you have been to some fabulous, unusual places. I have never heard of Myanmar could you tell me a bit about it? I have been to Europe and Asia in the past. India was the most memorable, the scenery, the poverty and the people all left the deepest impression.

What made me feel stressed and anxious? It seems my illness goes that way sometimes. I have an episode where I generally just feel bad. It passes after a time and then I am back to normal?. It's a bit like running the gauntlet and when I'm through it I am better than ever. Hope this makes some sense!

So sorry you haven't found that equilibrium yet with regards your medication and its effects. I've got my fingers crossed for you. I get drowsy a fair bit with my depression. Illness and/or meds? I'm not sure. All I know is that I fall asleep nearly every night while watching a movie, I just feel so tired at that time.

I'm very glad that you and your husband are communicating well now and it's great you are keeping busy with friends. It must be hard for you being slowed up and as busy as you are.

Thanks for the weekend wishes, as it turned out the markets I was going to got rained out! There's always next month.

Cheers for now good friend,

TMB

[Doolhof]

Hi TMB,

Thanks for another wonderful reply full of so many topics once again. I too am appreciating the friendship we are creating here and find this site so encouraging. I greatly appreciate the care and concern that flow through these posts.

Myanmar is Burma, it borders China, India, Thailand and Laos. If you have a spare moment Google it, some of the places in that country are so amazing. One region has thousands of ancient temples, there are communities built on lakes, large cities and so much history. At the moment a lot of boat people from Myanmar are floating about off the Asian countries looking for a new home.

Thanks for sharing your journey through depression. It certainly can be a rocky road at times and I am pleased to read you are coping okay at present.

Depression is one of those illnesses that can creep up behind you and grab you by the throat before you know what is happening! I hope you have some coping strategies in place for when that happens.

It is wonderful to read you have a friend who is there for you through the good, the bad and the downright ugly times. I have a girlfriend like that. She doesn't understand depression all that well, but she really tries and is very supportive.

Depression is so insidious when it robs us of contact with people when that is one thing which will benefit us. I try to push through those days when I don't want to go somewhere. I don't always succeed. At least with my work, being an independent contractor I have no choice really but to show up to work! It isn't all that easy to find a replacement person to help my oldies.

In an emergency it can be arranged. Like when I was sent off to hospital for two weeks. My husband took my work diary in to the head office of the company I contract for and told them I was in hospital so they would have to help out. Usually we have to phone other contractors and ask if they can help out. I was in no state to do that.

The meal you described sounds delicious, only I would miss out the egg unless it was well cooked. Some Asian meals have a runny egg on top that you are supposed to squish and let run through your meal. I only like runny eggs on toast.

Regarding my tiredness I think part of that as well could be diet related. Too much gluten doesn't do me much good and all my old dears like to fill me up on cakes and biscuits and become upset if I don't want to try their cooking!

Sudden ending...cheers from Mrs. Dools

[the_motorcycle_boy]

Hi Mrs Dools,

Hope you are doing really well. Thanks for your usual great reply. Yes the Beyond Blue forums are a good way to meet people and voice an opinion and there is a lot of care and concern here.

I didn't know that Burma was also called Myanmar. I have heard of Rangoon and Mandalay before. You would already know but I remember something about only being able to get a visa for two weeks maximum. Times have most likely changed since I heard that. I had a look on Google and saw all the brilliant pagodas and temples, the countryside and life by the sea. It looks fabulous. Maybe I will go there one day?

I too, am glad that I am coping well at present. Thanks for listening re: my journey. Yes, depression can sneak up on you without warning. You can wake up one morning and bang you're sick. If that happened to me again, that I was very sick, I would be extremely disappointed. My psychiatrist would be the first to know I guess. I really don't know what I would do. Carry on is about all one can do, I suppose.

I can see with your job how responsible it is so that it's very difficult to just have a day off. I think I told you that my last job was in 2005. It was a pretty responsible position assisting 4 people with MI. I got a lot out of it. Yes, your 2 weeks stay in hospital would have of course precluded any work.

The eggs in my noodle dish are usually just right so I'd say you would like it. ha! I have Pad Thai quite often when I eat out and it has egg in it.What's your favourite dish? Home cooked? or eat out?

You say too much gluten may be contributing to your tiredness. I have a friend who has to be gluten free otherwise she gets very sick. And I know of someone who is on a special diet but the name escapes me. It could be Paleo? Whatever it has no wheat or processed foods in it. This person said he had lost a lot of weight as wheat slows down the metabolism. I hope your tiredness goes away soon.

Tonight I'm cooking shnitzel and veg, one of my favourites.

Another interest of mine is politics. I like to watch the ABC a lot and ch24 to get the news. I even cast an eye on Question time when it's on. I am fascinated by politicians, how they can dodge bullets with the greatest of ease. They nearly always say the right thing and they are expert at evading an uncomfortable question. I really am amazed at how they do it, keep calm and non committing most of the time.

There are some really good DVD movies coming out this month. Foxcatcher is one, Birdman, I think is another and a few more I can't recall. Am watching one now called Interstellar starring Matthew McConaughy (spelling?) It's a fine film by Christopher Nolan. I really like his movies. He made the latest Batman trilogy.What's your favourite movie?

Well, that's it from me for now,

Take Care,

TMB

[Doolhof]

Hi TMB,

You mentioned you wouldn't know what to do if you became really ill again with your mental health. May be  now while you are coping well, you could make up a "survival list".

On it  you could have your Drs. number and your psych as well. Even some phone help line numbers like Beyond Blue. Then include a list of things that you do now that help you through your day. Add a couple of positive affirmations to help get you through.

I feel it is important to know when you are starting to go downhill and look out for the warning signs. I know that sometimes depression can hit you hard when you least expect it as well.

It is difficult for me to just take a day off. It can be done, it is just a bit messy for everyone and takes some planning. I am actually going to take a week off end of June. Well almost a week. One of my clients will not have anyone else attend her and she needs extra help now.

Plus financially we can't really afford for me to loose too many days pay. So I will be working two days of my week off. Oh well. I will have a couple of weekends as well so that will make up for it. I am even having to work this public holiday for no extra pay! Goes with the job.

When we went to Myanmar, only 4 tours were available to Australian tourists. The country has opened up a lot more since then, so I am pleased we went when we did. We were also restricted as to where we could go and were quite often followed by an official. He kept popping up the same places we did!

Favourite foods...there are so many. I enjoy a steak and salad, salt and pepper squid, a lot of Asian food, Greek and Italian ...just about anything that is dished up for me! Ha. Ha. As my husband is not working at present, he is doing the cooking and has done so for the last few months.

Favourite movies...I wish I could remember the titles of them! Sometimes I enjoy a drama, comedy, historical, true story, some science fiction and certainly nothing with brutality in it. Not my cup of tea at all.

I enjoy reading and watching most things to do with travel, other countries, traditions, beliefs, culture and so on.

Hopefully you are doing okay. I tried to get stuck into my book the other day but it just didn't happen. Maybe on the weekend. Funny thing, one of my friends asked me yesterday out of the blue how my book was coming on!

Hope you have a good day, from your friend, Mrs. Dools

[the_motorcycle_boy]

Hey Mrs Dools,

Thanks for your tips regarding making a "survival list". I think it is a top idea! Logical, practical and sensible. What's helping me through the day at present is being on the forums here. It's gradually dragging me out of the doldrums. Why, I'm not sure but it is. I think the friendships I am finding at BB and the interaction, just reading and answering posts, is therapeutic for want of a better word. My alienation is gradually falling away.

Before I go any further let me say all the best to your husband and to you at this stressful time.

I don't normally read others' posts a lot as I'm concentrating on my own. I'm a slow writer and find it a challenge to read great, long posts.

!That sounds good a week off at the end of June even though you'll be working 2 days. I am going away on Fri and coming back Monday. Just going up the country a bit. And you don't get extra for working Mon. That's a bit rough. When I worked in heavy industry years ago, I earned quite a bit doing shift work. The good ol' days eh?

Your story of the official popping up made me think of a interesting time I had in Thailand once. Not sure why. Anyway, a friend and I were on a long distance bus somewhere in Thailand when a local came down the bus and offered us a drink. A half an hour later we were all merry and most surprised to see this man walk to the front of the bus and begin driving! He was the relief driver!!!

I'd love to travel again, maybe one day.I have been to Asia twice and love it. Last time I went I circumnavigated Malaysia. It took me 2 months but what a holiday! Just going on local buses, staying a couple of days in each town, soaking up the atmosphere, eating the food. It was great!

You sound like a food lover too, eating anything that's put in front of you. My favourite dish was a meal mum used to cook. Curried tuna and rice, I loved it. I like spaghetti bog too. And one more is red curry duck. I get that take-away each Friday fortnight from the Thai.

I'm sure you will get into your book when the time is right. Me?, well I have been slack lately. I haven't done any work on my screenplay for several weeks. Instead I've been caught up in Beyond Blue. I want to thank you too for all the assistance you have been giving me, it is most generous of you and most helpful. It might sound overly dramatic but it has been like a lifeline in ways.

Well, today is beautiful and warm in the sun. I will go for a walk this afternoon, do some more work on the computer and maybe wash the floors. That should keep me out of mischief!

Bye for now good friend,

Cheers TMB

[the_motorcycle_boy]

oh and have a good weekend!

[Doolhof]

Hi TMB,

I hope your weekend away has been just what you needed and you really enjoyed yourself.

I totally understand how you feel about Beyond Blue. I too feel much the same. I am also thankful for the communication we have, it is helping me too.

My husband has shut me out of his life for so many years now we are two people living in the same house, more like house mates with separate bedrooms. He calls me a friend, so I guess that is better than an enemy.

Neither of us can afford to move out, so here we are! He doesn't communicate much at all, I find out stuff when I hear him telling his friends.

This week has been an "interesting" one for us.

The Dr. says my husband does not have throat cancer as he suspected he might have but he took biopsies from his gut to make sure that is not cancerous.

On Friday my husband had a car accident in the city and the car he had for a week was un-drivable . Thankfully he is okay and so were the people he crashed into. The cars can be repaired.

I told one of my clients I was taking a week off and she was not impressed and told me so. I guess I should be thankful she was annoyed I will not be able to assist her that week. Ha. Ha.

Yesterday I had my head full of stuff and accidently left one of the doors open on the canary cage and tow of the birds flew out. Thankfully we still have the parent birds so later on in the year they may have more babies.

I'm having to wean myself off my ADs as they are making all my bones and muscles ache. Just lovely...NOT. That is doing wonders for my head! Ha..Ha.

Today we are off to Renmark where we have booked into some nice place on the river for lunch and then we will be going on a river cruise with Devonshire tea. I told my husband that sounded very romantic and he just gave me a funny look!

Then we will pop into a boutique brewery the other side of the River, so it sounds like a lovely day that I will greatly enjoy.

Monday as I mentioned I will be working. I am starting a bit later so that will be nice. I will have time for a walk in the morning.

Life can suck sometimes, but I am thankful I can still see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools