Background info - I have pretty severe GAD.
I didn’t realize just how bad, or how much it has affected every aspect of my life, until my beloved (ex)husband of over 20 years had a breakdown of his own because he was so unhappy.
He left in January, and I only recently found out he’s been seeing someone since March. Apparently he was too scared to tell me as he was worried I would completely fall apart. Which I am. The only thing getting me through was the hope it was temporary, and we could reconcile.
So this is where I am now. Completely unravelling with anxiety off the charts.
Add in some panic disorder, social anxiety and a touch a ocd, being in my head is not fun.
I have to somehow navigate my way through a life without him. All the ways he covered for me the past 20 years. Making the phone calls, paying the bills. These things terrify me.
We have to sell the house and there will be all the things I need to do without his guidance.
I am 52 and never lived without another adult. Now it’s just me, my youngest kid and a dog.
I have been on meds for the past 4 years, but I don’t know if they’ve actually helped at all. I just assumed they were, so I’ve made an appointment with my GP to review.
I have been seeing a psychologist on and off this year, but it’s just talk therapy, and I don’t think talking for 50 minutes a fortnight is going to fix me.
So what do I do?
I need to get well enough to re-enter the workforce. I haven’t had a proper job for 10 years.
I am so overwhelmed. Do I look at inpatient programs? What is likely to help me?
