FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Talking with friends about mental health

penny-lane
Community Member

I want to tell my friends and family about my struggles with anxiety and depression but I am worried about how to start the conversation and what their reactions might be. I feel as though they will be understanding/supportive of me, but once before I have tried to talk to my friends about my mental health and they didn't really take me seriously and they sort of hurried off the subject, not really saying much. This really put me off trying to talk about it again, especially since one of them always makes jokes about serious topics, including mental illness.

Just thinking about having to talk with them about it is making me really anxious. Do you have any tips on what I should do, or say?

3 Replies 3

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi penny, welcome

Its a common problem.

In my estimate 80% of people domt or decide not to understand mental illness. This leabes us flocking around others of our own ilk...like this forum.

Google

Topic: they just wont understand why?- beyondblue

Tony WK

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Penny-Lane~

Welcome here. Talking to others about our condition is a worrying problem many of us face, and we are in a cleft stick, on the one had including others can give a great real of practical and emotional support and comfort, on the other hand it can lead to rejection and isolation.

As Tony says the best people to talk with are those that have been down the same path. There understanding is pretty well guaranteed, plus of course discovering what others have found helpful is good too.

I guess with family and friends it is very much a judgment call. Is there any one person you have confidence will at least care and want to support you? Not everyone does understand fully what happens in one's head, but if they can make allowances, and learn how to support it can be realy great anyway. My partner, who had never been ill, learned what not to say, to understand if I was distant or withdrawn, how sometimes suggestions were not welcome and at other times they were, and so on.

If you can find one person that may be enough. They can be your advocate if necessary, and in any case it really is not an all-or-nothing venture. Some people as you have already indicated may not be suitable for your confidences.

When it comes down to what to say I would think there are two approaches. The first is to sit down quietly in a secure place, without any interruptions or rush, and just talk. The good thing about this is you can sense at the time how you are being received and can tailor what you say to match.

The other way is to write a letter and hand it over. This allows you to say everything you want without getting flustered or sidetracked.

OK, I've talked for a bit, what do you think?

Croix

rhinoceros
Community Member

Several of my closer friends know that I have depression and anxiety. Some of them know because they saw me struggling and asked 'what's wrong?' - one actually spoke to me about how they have anxiety, it was strangely comforting that I could respond with 'so do I!'.

Having people who can empathise with what your are going through is so powerful - they don't have to necessarily 'get it', but just knowing that they care makes such a difference.

I'm in a strange situation where my friends seem to empathise with what I go through better than my partner- she finds it hard to deal with. For that reason it's really important to have good friends.