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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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demipouce What is wrong with me ... Overthinking ?
  • replies: 2

Hi I have came to the conclusion lately that I am dedfinitely not ok and I do really need help. I actually think I may be going totally crazy and OTT. Quick background, I am 26 years old, lived overseas for about 6 years, I live with my beautiful gir... View more

Hi I have came to the conclusion lately that I am dedfinitely not ok and I do really need help. I actually think I may be going totally crazy and OTT. Quick background, I am 26 years old, lived overseas for about 6 years, I live with my beautiful girlfriend who is extremely caring, makes me breakfast lunch and dinner everyday , funny, a ray of sunshine, also sick Fixable to an extent but nonetheless stressfull for young human beings like us.I am an obsessed fisherman so always spend my days outdoors and surfing too. I work as a programmer in IT and make websites and apps as a trade. Work isn't really stressfull and I wouldn't say I LOVE it but I am really good at it so it pays the bills really well. Every now and again I do get unhappy about it but I guess it is standard for any adults ... Money isn't a stressfull situation for me thanks to my job so I can rule that out of my equation. Lately I have been overthinking everything . I have everything anyone would want but I can't stop worrying about irrational thoughts and it is destroying me and affects everyone around me. My girlfriend and I are really honest , we do not drink and tell each other everything , even if it's bad truth is always better, and we are also raelly loyal and here for each other, very down to earth. Here is an example, what if her disease gets worse what am I gonna become ? What if she goes to a wedding and then all the guys are here hitting on her because she is a brisdmaid ? What happens if a friend of her introduces her to someones else even though she knows that she has me as a boyfriend ? What happens if we move out and then she decides she wants to go back home to her parents will she just leave me ? Last weekend they had a hens party at our house, and it's been the most challenging moment of my life I swear. They had a stripper. I had put in my head that everyone was gonna get rowdy with him and I worked myself up so much the whole day not knowing what was happening... When I got home she told me the truth, nothing happened, he didn't even go near me, it was gross. You know what the worse part about this is ? I knew this is how she was going to react, but I just make up crazy stories in my head and it all becomes so real and it really affects my body , it makes me angry, short, sad. I can't keep living like that, I am sick of making stupid stories in my head and worry about them when I know from the start they are not going to happen ... What is wrong with me ?

steelcity What is wrong with me?
  • replies: 1

I think I’ve got SAD.. & just feel like I need to vent a little. Just abit of a background. Put simply.. growing up I was the wild, chubby, loud kid who had plenty of friends.. from pre school up until 7th grade. And now, hardly any friends. There’s ... View more

I think I’ve got SAD.. & just feel like I need to vent a little. Just abit of a background. Put simply.. growing up I was the wild, chubby, loud kid who had plenty of friends.. from pre school up until 7th grade. And now, hardly any friends. There’s one particular thing that I can remember from my childhood that sort of stands out to me.. not really the reason for my situation today but I think important nonetheless. As I said, growing up I was the loud outspoken one. I loved tennis and was one day playing with my friend, & my brother his friend.. from memory I was about 12-13 years old. Fast forward back at home arguing with my brother, he tells me that his friend ask him who I thought I was? Why do I have to be so loud & energetic? Why do I have to be such a smartass? And that I’m not normal. Dunno, but pretty normal & average behaviour for a 12-13 year old I think? Now you would think this would have no bearing on me at this age. But for some reason it began to really sink in and I became abit more self conscious. Through high school I became reserved & not as out going. I had a couple of friends but was considered the outsider when it came to big groups & I didn’t really have any contact with girls as the high school I went to was an all boys school. I didn’t realise how bad I was until I’d finished school. I started my first job & the thought of making new friends was exciting, but never really happened. I was quiet, shy, weird & seen as weak and the easiest person to make fun of. I felt as though people were judging me whenever I said or did something. So I made no friends at my first job. Started my second job at 18 & was again the same thing.. just this time a little different because I was working mainly with older people. I noticed I became a little ‘depressed’, walking around slumped all the time & just not wanting to talk to people. I made a couple of older friends here.. but none that I really have a close bond with. Stayed at this job for 7 1/2 years & made my way up the ranks. It was here that I realised I’m naturally switched on & smart.. but I simply had no confidence in myself at all. Super fast forward to today & I’m 2 weeks into another new job. To get here was no easy feat.. 2,000 applicants whittled down to 30. Again, I’m finding myself left out of groups. I’m currently interstate in a shared hotel room as the job requires it. There are groups & close friendships forming, but I’m not part of any of them.

StuH89 Relationships & anxiety
  • replies: 1

My girlfriend and best friend has said numerous times that she suffers from anxiety, low self esteem, depression etc. As a result, I have witnessed may times her losing confidence in not only herself, but her studies and our relationship. She is with... View more

My girlfriend and best friend has said numerous times that she suffers from anxiety, low self esteem, depression etc. As a result, I have witnessed may times her losing confidence in not only herself, but her studies and our relationship. She is without a doubt the best person that I could ever imagine being with, thats why it has been so hard having her push me away, because she cannot cope with the relationship and everything else going on in her life. I have suggested a few times that she seek out some assistance that her family and myself cannot provide properly. Maybe time apart from me, being in an environment where she needs to do more for herself and not have to rely on those around her will be good for us? I hope so! She has dealt with a lot throughout her life and from what she has told me, she has never properly addressed these issues. They have been stewing inside her mind for all these years, until she met me. She has said that I am the only person that she has ever opened up to about a lot of her issues and that she doesn't feel as comfortable being herself around anyone but me. I hurts me knowing that while she's in need of some independence and space, because of our history and relationship, she can't turn to me to feel any comfort or reassurance. I genuinely want her to seek out help because I hate seeing her like this, but part of me wants her to do it because it may mean she'll come back to me in a relationship sense. It comes across as selfish, but I know that if she can find the help she deserves, hopefully it will get her back on track. How do I approach the subject with her without making her feel like I am pushing it? That is the last thing that I want her to feel. Cheers

TinyDancer2017 Overthinking - it's driving me crazy!
  • replies: 9

Hi everyone, Lately pretty much every social occasion/interaction I have seems to go fine, but as soon as I go home I start to replay things I said/shouldn't have said.... my mind twists in knots overthinking of how certain things might have offended... View more

Hi everyone, Lately pretty much every social occasion/interaction I have seems to go fine, but as soon as I go home I start to replay things I said/shouldn't have said.... my mind twists in knots overthinking of how certain things might have offended people, or how they might have found what I said embarrassing/stupid. Rationally I know this doesn't really matter, but the play-by-play leaves me really overwhelmed by anxiety. Has anyone else experienced this? How did you get over it?

Tizzles Feeling so stuck
  • replies: 2

Hi all, New to BB... I feel as though I’ve always had some anxiety. I don’t cope well with change and have constant panic attacks and bouts of nausea when anything in my life changes. I’m honestly not Ute what it all stems from. I’m a bit of an intro... View more

Hi all, New to BB... I feel as though I’ve always had some anxiety. I don’t cope well with change and have constant panic attacks and bouts of nausea when anything in my life changes. I’m honestly not Ute what it all stems from. I’m a bit of an introvert and find it difficult to make friends. My main issue is recently I came down sick while in a job that I really didn’t like. It’s now been 3 and a half months since I have worked. I am no longer sick but I cannot bring myself to go to work. I have quit that job and gotten a new one but I ha e been stuck calling in sick for the last 6 weeks as I just cannot bring myself to go. I think I’m worried that I’ll be judged, especially as I had so much time off. I know I’m good at my job but I just struggle to be confident around others. Another problem is that I work shift work and hate it. All I want is to be able to go to work and be able to come home and have dinner with my partner and watch the news and feel normal. I have no body clock when it comes to sleeping as my work is all over the place. Sadly it is very hard to get a mon-fri 9-5 job in my profession. i have since enrolled to start studying something entirely different and have thought about quitting my job and going back to retail while I study but I don’t want people to judge me or be disappointed in me. I care way too much about what others think and that’s a major down fall. i haven’t seen a GP or spoken to anyone because I don’t know how to approach it. I’m a pretty closed off person. My partner knows what’s going on and that’s the only person. I just don’t know if it would be acceptable for him to come to the GP and speak on my behalf. I’m a grown adult, surely I should be able to do it myself. Just feeling very stuck in life at the moment and I don’t know how to get on top of it. It is all spiralling out of control. Any advice would be great.

penny-lane Talking with friends about mental health
  • replies: 3

I want to tell my friends and family about my struggles with anxiety and depression but I am worried about how to start the conversation and what their reactions might be. I feel as though they will be understanding/supportive of me, but once before ... View more

I want to tell my friends and family about my struggles with anxiety and depression but I am worried about how to start the conversation and what their reactions might be. I feel as though they will be understanding/supportive of me, but once before I have tried to talk to my friends about my mental health and they didn't really take me seriously and they sort of hurried off the subject, not really saying much. This really put me off trying to talk about it again, especially since one of them always makes jokes about serious topics, including mental illness. Just thinking about having to talk with them about it is making me really anxious. Do you have any tips on what I should do, or say?

The_Recluse Failing At Life
  • replies: 3

I’m 18, 19 in a few days. Last year I dropped out of college half way through the year and I have literally done nothing since. It’s been over a year of doing nothing, no job, no drivers license and no real socialising. I feel like I’m stuck. I’ve be... View more

I’m 18, 19 in a few days. Last year I dropped out of college half way through the year and I have literally done nothing since. It’s been over a year of doing nothing, no job, no drivers license and no real socialising. I feel like I’m stuck. I’ve been applying to jobs but I have no real qualifications and any job I do qualify for is too hard to get to. As stated above I can’t drive and I live too far out, the buses don’t come this way very often. I’ve thought about going back to study but without a job I can’t afford it. I still live with my parents and they make just enough to be considered too much so I can’t get a study allowance. To make matters worse I’ve lost touch with all my friends. I’ve always been shy and introverted, preferring to stay at home and read a book rather then go to parties but now that I don’t go to school I don’t catch up with my friends every day like I used to. For a while they would invite me out but I just kept making up excuses because they’d made new friends and I didn’t want to be an awkward tag along. Now the invitations have stopped and I feel so alone. I know it’s my fault. This Sunday is my birthday and I asked those friends if they’d want to go to dinner on Saturday night but most of them were busy and two of them didn’t even bother to reply to me. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m just sad all the time and the thought of having to force myself out there, back into the world of socialising, after being extremely anti-social for so long makes me want to scream and ugly cry. But I feel it’s necessary to get myself out of this horrible rut. Like ripping off a bandaid. I just really need some advice/guidance please. I get really bad anxiety over all this and about having to socialise. I’m constantly getting bad migraines and feeling sick.

Molly123 How do I help someone with anxiety
  • replies: 9

My husband has always been a happy fun person but recently he has been having sleep issues and now.anxiety....having a tightness of chest and difficulty breathing .... it come on him out of the blue for no reason. He also gets feelings of anxiousness... View more

My husband has always been a happy fun person but recently he has been having sleep issues and now.anxiety....having a tightness of chest and difficulty breathing .... it come on him out of the blue for no reason. He also gets feelings of anxiousness on and off and it's really got him down. He is on medication but each time his body gets used to it ...seems to return again. He is always tired and just sad.... sometimes angry. It's so hard as I worry about him but try to stay positive but I miss my husband...I don't know who he is anymore and I'm terrified he.will never be the same. Help.

AtxSi Hi all - role play troubles.
  • replies: 8

Hi all. Not sure if this where I post my troubles or just the intro, but here goes. I'm a 28yo male medical student from Australia. I'm usually a very sociable and friendly guy, I used to run and own a small business and did all of my own quotes, mee... View more

Hi all. Not sure if this where I post my troubles or just the intro, but here goes. I'm a 28yo male medical student from Australia. I'm usually a very sociable and friendly guy, I used to run and own a small business and did all of my own quotes, meetings etc. But since starting med school, there have been a tonne of role play scenarios (you are a patient interested in vaccines/you are a doctor, how would you discuss vaccines with a patient etc.) and for whatever reason I cannot put myself in the role, it brings out my inner neurotic traits or something. The situation gets worse with simulated patients (actors with fake relevant symptoms). To the point I sometimes can't even speak. There is a very rigid structure to what we're required to say, and I struggle at role playing, remembering my lines (and I've read them 1000's of times) and listening to the patient. It's gotten so bad I just cut some compulsory classes which will have be sent to a disciplinary board. I'm here now looking for anyone who has ever experienced this before. I'm fine on hospital placements with interactions with real patients. The problem seems to be with 'acting' in front of others, Imo. And that's a big problem as it is a barrier to graduating. Thanks in advance for any help you can give me

Hippychic New to BB old slave to anxiety
  • replies: 2

Hi, well, here I am! On the outside people see a calm, caring, supportive, educated, creative mother and health professional. In real life I'm a terrified, totally dependant mess and shell of a person. I have experienced anxiety and panic attacks tha... View more

Hi, well, here I am! On the outside people see a calm, caring, supportive, educated, creative mother and health professional. In real life I'm a terrified, totally dependant mess and shell of a person. I have experienced anxiety and panic attacks that I can remember from my early teenage years, I'm told I was always an anxious child. I have had several negative experiences in childhood, and a strong family history of undiagnosed mental health conditions - so yay me - the trifecta for risk of developing a mental health issue! I was in denial for many years, then I stepped into seeing psychologists, psychotherapists, did mindfulness, meditation and started telling friends and family that I have anxiety. I have two beautiful sons ages 8 and 11, I'm now in my early 40's and after an emotionally taxing 7 years of divorce issues finally have a supportive ex husband and unbelievably supportive, strong and secure current partner. After re-establishing my career (after kids) that I always found stressful, I now have a job that I love (but don't feel good enough for) and am financially on the up. By all accounts, my life is in the best position it's ever been - but I'm far from it. I got to a point where I became frustrated that I could not take my kids anywhere on my own, I can't even take myself a decent distance from home alone. I stress if I am at home alone with the kids, though they have been an amazingly mature support for me recently. But even that stresses me to not burden them with the emotional distress of me not coping. My recent career advancement has involved my studying the impacts of early childhood experiences both relevant to mental health and family violence - too close to home as a previous child and current parent. I hit breaking point and saw a psychiatrist to try medication which I have always been adverse to - also because taking medication triggers anxiety as I have experienced a number of adverse reactions to various meds in the past - I also have health anxiety! So, I tried a ssri knowing it would exacerbate anxiety initially. First three days were awesome - placebo effect! Then I crashed, the anxiety became unbearable, I lasted 6 days. A referral for dose titration as an inpatient is now in process. Im terrified. I don't know what's right for me. I don't feel like I can go through the med effects again, I can't stay like this either. If I take the meds again for longer and it still doesn't work or gets worse will I ever be ok again?