Social anxiety not allowing me to hold a job/get a job

Ebonyag27 · ‎26-11-2016

Hello everyone,

For the past couple months i Have been trying to obtain a job, with success, fortunately. I was working at red rooster but I quit due to the anxiety attacks that would cripple me once I got my roster and learnt what my shifts were. I was there fo exactly one month. Since then my anxiety has lowered but not by much as it is out of control. Recently I was offered a position as kitchen hands for a restaurant nearby which I accepted because I want more money and want to rely less on my parents. But ever since thursday (which was when I found out) I've been getting crippling anxiety attacks in the lead up to this which is tomorrow. To kae things worse we went to dinner there last night and mum introduced me to the owner.

I really need some advice as to what to do because right the only option i can think of is either having a mental breakdown to the point where my mum has to call up and cancel or make myself physically sick to make an illusion as though I can't work. Please help me and give me advice!!

Thank-you!

SourceShield · ‎26-11-2016

Hello Ebony,

Firstly - In this moment, are you safe?

Are you okay?

If you need to speak to someone, please call the beyondblue freecall number.

Trained professionals that can assist you.

---

I really get into whats called, 'Self Soothing' techniques, in times like these, try some of these out, and see how you go!.

---SELF-SOOTHING---

Self Soothing has to do with comforting, nurturing and being kind to yourself.

One way to think of this is to think of ways of soothing each of your five senses:

Vision

Hearing

Smell

Taste

Touch

---

VISION:

Walk in a pretty part of town.

Look at the nature around you.

Go to a museum with beautiful art.

Buy a flower and put it where you can see it.

Sit in a garden.

Light a candle and watch the flame.

Look at a book with beautiful scenery or beautiful art. Watch a travel movie or video.
---

HEARING:

Listen to beautiful or soothing music, or to tapes of the ocean or other sounds of nature.

Listen to a baby gurgling or a small animal.

Sit by a waterfall.

Listen to someone chopping wood.

When you are listening, be mindful, letting the sounds come and go.

---

SMELL:

Smell breakfast being cooked at home or in a restaurant.

Notice all the different smells around you.

Walk in a garden or in the woods, maybe just after a rain, and breathe in the smells of nature.

Light a scented candle or incense.

Bake some bread or a cake, and take in all the smells.

---

TASTE:

Have a special treat, and eat it slowly, savoring each bite.

Cook a favorite meal.

Drink a soothing drink like herbal tea or hot chocolate.

Let the taste run over your tongue and slowly down your throat.

Go to a potluck, and eat a little bit of each dish, mindfully tasting each new thing.

---

TOUCH:

Take a bubble bath.

Pet your dog or cat or cuddle a baby.

Put on a silk shirt shirt or blouse, and feel its softness and smoothness.

Sink into a really comfortable bed.

Float or swim in a pool, and feel the water caress your body.

---

Do some of these, or even just one of these, before you go to work to put you in a more present and mindful state.

Also, at work when you 'catch' yourself 'drifting off' or feeling anxious, have one of these up your sleeve as well.

Im a Chef, so I ask myself, what can I smell right now?

Keeps me mindful and less anxious.

---

If you do make a mistake.

Own up to it.

But dont stress yourself too much about it.

You will need to seek some professional help though, if this gets worse.

MuchLove.

Shred1106 · ‎27-11-2016

Hi SourceShield

I woke up today extremely embarrassed.

Along with my depression I am experiencing more and more anxiety.I am on a new med now for seven days so it's early but I am reliving all of yesterday's events.

I had to have some major dental work done and had to travel 140 klms to get it done.Now my dentist is fabulous and has known me for 20 years (and yes he works some Saturdays) but, half way through the procedure I lost it - broke down in tears and was shaking uncontrollably. He was understanding, stopped for a little while and let me compose myself before we got on and finished.

It was hard enough for me to get out of the house and so far away but all I am doing now is going over and over the situation in my head.I have tried to get into the garden but find I can't complete a full task - even emptying the kitchen compost into the bin is proving hard today.

I am looking for any suggestions - even getting part way up my driveway is hard now.

Thoughts anyone?

SourceShield · ‎27-11-2016

Hi Shred,

Okay.

Lets, just for now, have a chat about something else...besides the anxiety.

Because in this moment, you need to distract yourself from those thoughts.

Can you understand that?

When you are 'calmer', at another time, we can discuss strategies etc...because right now, 'trying' to be 'mindful'...will just go right out the door.

Can you understand that?

So, do you watch t.v at all?

Movies, that you like?

Can we start there for now?...

MuchLove

p.s.

If you really need to chat with someone, please call the BB freecall number.

I am here for you.

You are loved and respected.

We are gonna get through this, okay?

MuchLove

SourceShield · ‎27-11-2016

Hey Shred...and anyone else reading!

Take a look at our new thread -> OTT - Old Thought Thoughts.

In the STAYING WELL section.

Its about how we can release old limiting beliefs, as well as help us through some of our 'moments'

In the thread I post a few tips etc, that have worked for me...and I will keep posting other tips and hacks, as well.

I hope youre okay.

If you ever wanna chat about strategies etc, go to that thread and we can chat from there...

So we dont hijack another persons thread.

Take good care of you now.

Our feelings are valid.

MuchLove&Kindness

Kaitoa

gloria10 · ‎27-11-2016

Hi Ebonyag27,

Firstly, I'm sorry to hear that you're having a difficult time with anxiety.

Secondly, I understand the struggles you are going through. I have had anxiety interfere with my work in the past and a lot of it is due to social situations as well. I think the biggest thing for me is that i would let things build up and then it would all come out at once. I also wasnt making time for my mental health.

Can I ask, do your parents know about your anxiety? Are you able to see a doctor about ways to manage it? I found things started to improve when I saw a doctor about my anxiety and he gave me a script which helped when it was a struggle, I havent had to use it much. I think the other thing was knowing how to find the right help. I would recommend seeing your GP if you can.

It can and does get better and I wish you the best!