So anxious it makes me physically ill - too scared to seek treatment - need advice

[Louis88]

I have dealt with anxiety problems for a very long time. I saw a psychologist during my teen years for depression & anxiety which seemed to help one but not the other. Things seemed to get better enough for me to manage on my own as I got older, but recently they've been getting worse and worse.

I have a lot of responsibilities this year, have to do things (like chair meetings etc.) that give me really bad panic attacks. I have dealt with panic attacks on a regular basis for a long time (usually go to the bathroom and wait in the stall for half an hour / longer if I'm at university or work for the heavy, noisy breathing and feeling like I'm going to pass out to stop) but they have been so bad recently I have started throwing up, and feel completely wrecked for the rest of the day (sometimes multiple days after). I'm at the end of my rope. They seem to come out of nowhere and there's nothing I can do to anticipate them or stop them from taking everything out of me when they happen.

I recently caught up with an old friend who I knew dealt with similar problems, and they told me they have had great success with short-term anxiety medication. From what they told me of their experiences with this as well as ongoing support from a psychologist, it seems like it would really help me. When these really bad ones hit it feels like the entire world is caving in, it feels like I'm dying. But I'm also too scared to talk to a doctor about this option for treatment because I'm scared of being seen as like a drug addict or something - as I have heard that people use this medication recreationally.

The thought of my doctor seeing me in that light makes me extremely anxious. I don't know what to do because I have tried so many things (cbt, several antidepressants, etc.) and nothing has helped. I feel like I can't continue the way I am but I'm worried about getting help.

Has anyone else dealt with a similar problem?

[Slipstream_SS]

Louis88

Louis.... GPs arnt dumb, with what your describing any GP with training will see straight away that your not there to get on the Drugs and that you need them. They see stuff every day and nothing surprises them, so dont be afraid. Think of your health and quality of life. Its way more important. So just go

CK

[RobbieP]

Hey Louis,

I'm currently a serving member of the Australian defence force and I know how stressful certain areas of work life can be, I suffer from PTSD (from my childhood) and severe depression.

These things can hit you and spiral out of control, it's a tough ask to do what you do, I understand your thoughts about seeing a doctor, cause anxiety can lead you to think different things such as drug overdose etc. but you need to find it in yourself that if you think you need support services then really ask you're self to do it.

Seeing a doctor is ok, never think it's not ok, they are there to help you the best you can.

In saying that self help, is another great way you can use exercises Such as mindfulness techniques or physical exercise that will help release endorphins as well as mus hls relaxation techniques to help ease your anxiety.

When you feel that it's at the end of the line you really need to dig deep and get a greater understanding how your brain works as this is really important to understand what's going on in yourself 🙂

Find it in yourself to receive help and try fight your anxiety at the same time, I've done it and it can be done so stick in there buddy we are always here for your support.

Robbie.

[Guest_89]

Hi Louis!!

So I wrote a really long and detailed reply but I hit the "cancel" button instead of the "post" button by accident (clumsy me aha)! I'll try re-write a shorter version again.

Doctors chose that profession, and with that profession they have to be non-judgemental, understanding, and help people with their issues (including mental illness). Without a doubt, that whatever you tell your doctor they have heard a billion times before - they will not be shocked or surprised, and they won't criticize. Your anxiety sounds totally awful and debilitating, and you NEED and DESERVE the proper help and support for it.

Ultimately, you need to put your health first. Even if you think the doctor will be judgy about your situation (which realistically i doubt they will be), your health and wellbeing are most important and need to be addressed. Your anxiety is impacting your every day life, and you shouldn't have to struggle so much with it. Best wishes 🙂

[BballJ]

Hi Louis88,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

GP's are there to help you and not judge you at all - panic attacks are a very rough part of anxiety and I have dealt with them before, not as full on as your one's are but woken up middle of the night in a cold sweat, heart racing so I understand what you are saying. The medications are there to help and the doctors manage you on them, I don't have much luck with medication because part of my anxiety is that I hate taking tablets for an extended period of time, that's how my mind thinks but many people on here have had good help from medication so hopefully they comment their own experiences but I just wanted to try and support you and say please do go a see a GP, preferably one who understands mental health issues.

Keep posting back if you feel like you want to talk, there are many people on these forums with similar symptoms.

My best for you,

Jay

[blondguy]

Hello Louis88

Jay (BballJ) and Slipstream have great advice above Louis.

You have great strength by posting and good on you 🙂

I used to have chronic anxiety too and it feels like crap. It took me years to understand that I wasnt going to die and the symptoms were just adrenaline flowing too much making my heart race and my breathing restricted.

The GP's see people like us every day. It can be a pain going in and talking about it but you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by doing so 🙂

I let my anxiety go on for way too long and it became worse.

I understand you though as my first few appointments were uncomfortable and scary until I figured out that tens of thousands of people also make the same appointment for the same symptoms

you are definitely not alone here Louis

you are proactive with your health by posting and thats a huge step towards finding some peace 🙂

we are here for you (and have similar symptoms too)

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Louis88]

Hi RobbieP

Thanks for your advice - I am sure that most of the work with this problem will have to be done myself with mindfulness techniques, etc. I have been struggling so much recently because I have started to have times where I feel like I'm beyond my own capabilities for calming myself down - like I'm beyond thought. I guess I was hoping that talking to a doctor I could find some extra push that would allow me to bridge the gap (as I have had to leave work in the middle of a shift during these times - not convenient for anyone and very embarrassing)

Seeing that other people are dealing with similar things has been helpful - I am going to the doctor today and have written down the main points of what I'm dealing with & what I think would help.

I also found out that my old GP (who specialises in mental health) has returned to the local practice, which makes it a lot less frightening, as she was very helpful when I was younger.

Thanks again for the support

[Louis88]

Thank you everyone for sharing your stories & advice & just generally being helpful and welcoming.

I feel much more confident now in seeking the help that I feel that I need.

[BballJ]

Hi Louis88,

That's perfect that your GP that you have seen before has come back, maybe a little sign that it is time to reach out for the help and makes it a lot less easier and the writing down of everything is great as well.

Keep us updated with how you are going.

My best,

Jay

[poppyh]

Hello! I'm a teenager and have and am currently dealing with the exact same thing. I was in hospital for a month late last year due to my continuous anxiety provoked vomiting (couldn't eat for 5 days due to the vomiting- included fluids etc.). The vomiting and anxiety has gotten slightly better over the past few months and has improved due to removal of anxiety provoking triggers (e.g. bad relationships I was in) and also more frequent visits to my psychiatrist and psychologist, talking to friends, talking to teachers, talking on online chat rooms, meditation (ugh! I know haha) and also learning to identify the anxiety as soon as it appears, rather than letting it escalating to the vomiting stage. (this is very difficult i admit). I also take medication which I only take when very bad episodes hit- IT HELPS SO MUCH PLEASE DO NOT BE EMBARRASSED BY TAKING MEDS!!!!! THEY ARE A GIFT. I hope you get better, I know it sucks xxxxx