Challenging myself to improve

[Tiffany1]

Been on these forums before, they're mighty helpful and I love all of you for hanging on there and managing the mental illness and fighting the good fight each day!! Much love much love!!

Since my last post, I've been to 4 sessions with a psychologist. A lovely woc whom I feel very comfortable with and who understands my migrant experience without me having to iterate it. I've been diagnosed with anxiety.

I've started a new job as a travel agent. I don't like it, but minimum wage is better than nothing. And this is still better than waitressing. I'm stressed out because I have to work an extra day at my family business a cafe, so I end up working 6 days a week. I don't feel like I am rested enough, I've been having panick attacks bc of it.

I dislike talking to strangers to have to convince them to book their holiday with me. I am passionate about travel and different places and cultures, but customers are concerned about getting as good a deal as possible when travel cannot be discounted much. (Otherwise I would be literally paying for their travel)

I got a full time job straight out of university bc my mum and dad were nagging me and mum was making me work at the cafe anyway. so I took the lesser evil, and thought at least this way I would have enough energy to work a desk job full time and do my own personal art (I went to art school) but because I'm working way more than I anticipated, I'm just always too tired or too anxious to do what I love and get downtime and rest.

Ive spoken to ppl about this, I've got a variety of coping mechanisms from my psych. Friends and bf have suggested I take less days at work which I refuse to do because I am still proving myself at the travel agency and my mum needs help running the business.

I also have anxiety when I try to draw anyway, bc of an abusive teacher I had in university. And bc of the negative thoughts which tell me I've never been good at art which is why I couldn't find an art job out of uni. I'm annoyed because a lot of people I talk to irl, they don't understand what that means, they tell me I'm just being silly and dramatic.

They don't understand it's anxiety and that to a degree you can do CBT, but you can't just "stop". I'm trying to cope, which is why I'm here again.

Because of my CBT I'm able to minimise the impact of negative thoughts. How do I start thinking nice thoughts about myself? Because I've never been able to do that.

[white knight]

Hi Tiffany, welcome

Just an aside, text words are hard to read. Irl? Etc is not known to some of us.

I assume your mums business is financially not going well?. Its one thing helping out your family its another working so many hours that your health deteriates. Who looks after you? You cant save everyone else and no one saves you.

Anxiety eadily becomes depression. To avoid this you need to counter it with several means...good diet, exercise, meds, therapy, employment satisfaction, relaxation.

Google this.

Topic: the balance of your life- beyondblue

Topic: charity begins at home- beyondblue

Topic: they just wont understand why?- beyondblue

Regards

Tony WK

[White_Rose]

Hello Tiffany

Thank you for your lovely words to us all on BB. Can you write without using text? Some of us oldies have no idea what you mean, e.g. woc?

On the face of it your parents are being a bit pushy asking you to work in the family business and work full-time elsewhere. I don't know how much this is part of your cultural background so forgive me if I say the wrong thing. I understand having a full time job outside of work is important to you so I suggest you start looking for another job. Perhaps somewhere that uses your artistic skills.

I think you also need to explain to your parents that they are putting too much strain on you. Will they tell you to reduce your working hours? Will your parents cafe fail without you working there? I presume you are not paid for working there.

Much of your stress comes from working in a job you dislike. This rarely works for anyone. Can you find an employment agency that will help you find a job you will be happy in? I think this is your first step. Work where you are happy, where your skills are valued, and I believe you will lose much of your anxiety. You will be in a better space to make decisions and have discussions about your parent's business.

Mary

[Sophie_M]

Hi Tiffany, thanks for your post and great to hear that you've been finding the forums helpful.

This thread is very similar to another one you started last year, where you received a number of replies from our members.  So we can keep your story together in one place, we're going to close this thread off.  It would be great if you could continue your conversation in the original thread, and take time to reply to the members who provided support for you there.