Scared of "trivial, everyday" things

[Moonstruck]

Does anyone else share this irrational, stupid, inconvenient anxiety? It doesn't happen all the time but when it does I cannot explain it or know what to do, to get rid of it. It will sound comical, laughable when I tell you but that's OK...it sounds funny to me also. I will start by saying there are certain situations I am active in, at which I exel, where the majority of folk would be terrified. I am brilliant there...and yet scared of this "little stuff" .

For months I was frightened of going to a different petrol station nearby. Prices went sky high at most places in my town, and this one was cheaper, popular, accessible and an obvious choice and for months I put off going there...because I was scared of it. Which bowser should I pull up at? Which buttons do I push to key in the dollars I want?. What if there is a big queue?...so I eventually had to ask a neighbour (who is familiar with anxiety problems) to go with me, just to sit beside me and quietly tell me what to do. Otherwise I would never have "mastered the petrol station"!

Yesterday i bought a new vacuum cleaner. It was a good price, I am pleased with it, I want to use it asap and need to use it. I look forward to using it. I am scared to get it out of the box. What if I can't understand the instructions in the manual? It's different from my last one. see how stupid it sounds? I am scared of my vacuum cleaner!!!!

and yet if you could see what I achieved just recently in a specialised field...you would be amazed at my competency and confidence!!!

WHY am I scared of these trivial everyday things? God knows how long it will take for me to begin assembling that vacuum cleaner which I know, logically, I am intelligent enough to figure out!! So why am I procrastinating about it?

What is wrong with me? Who could help me? Any suggestions or thoughts would be very welcome......have a nice day..... Moonstruck.

[Moonstruck]

I must admit I have given way to sky high anxiety over the phone...so scared of "doing it wrong" as if someone is watching me, or I'll damage it, or tick the wrong box, or, or, or.......wish there was some instruction tutoring just one on one for Senior age people where I live...I am not stupid, but it's all so new and there's so many questions to ask.

I know they run Council or Govt run Tech Savvy for Seniors lessons in some places, which would be just what I need...but not in my town unfortunately. I should have a word to our town Librarian...I am sure there is a need out there.

It's a very helpless feeling and then gets scary and stressful, wondering if I have made a rod for my back and spent money on something that others do so very easily....or it looks easy as their fingers fly all over their phones. I'm obsessing a bit I realise which is going to be very bad for my ongoing mastering of my anxiety..

I feel sometimes I have taken some steps backward. I hope I can climb back up again......thanks for enquiring...how are you all going?

[Elizabeth CP]

I think speaking to the librarian is a good idea. There are lots of people who don't know how to use many functions on their phone. The librarian might be able to suggest where to turn to. The problem is not even knowing what could be helpful. You certainly can't rely on the sales people who sell phones because they usually rush & have no idea how to explain properly.

I'm lucky my son helps me with technology. It has taken time for him to realise I can't pick things up as fast as he can so now he takes more time. he also understands what will help me rather than just teaching me everything which I don't need Good luck

[Paw Prints]

Hello Moonstruck,

I think speaking to your local librarian is a great idea, it is something they could easily include in their services. If they don't or won't then what we need to do is think up some other ideas for how you might be able to get some help. You wrote "my town" so I'm guessing you're rural. Do you have a lions club or CWA, they may already run sessions or be willing to add them into the things they do. One other idea is to watch tutorials on youtube, that way you are able to learn at your own pace, I used youtube to get safety tips for using my chainsaw when I bought it, it took looking at a few different videos but I did find what I needed.

Paw Prints

[Paw Prints]

Hello Moonstruck,

Thank you!! You inspired me to try. I have finally gone & bought the trailer & ride on mower I needed. I even told the man at the trailer place that I had never towed before & he kindly showed me how to connect the trailer. Now I just need to go & buy a new phone.

Paw Prints

[Moonstruck]

Baby steps Paw Prints...baby steps! However small, they are big steps for us...and we can take our time in doing them. As long as its not an emergency, there's no hurry but such a sense of achievement in taking the step.

another thing I find hard is to "ask someone for help" I never want to"bother" anyone. Yet I don't resent it, when someone else asks for mine..not at all.

strangely enough, it's the trivial everyday things that I've been terrified of....how do you explain this? A couple of days ago I had a household emergency, needing attention from a qualified person IMMediately! Phone calls and decisions to be made...the lot! It was a public holiday!!!

I handled it all step by step without falling apart with panic and all went smoothly, even with the damn public holiday when everything and everyone is "closed".

How do I manage to do "the big stuff under pressure" and be scared of going an unfamiliar petrol station??

[quirkywords]

Moon,

I can relate to your last question.

I coped when the back veranda flooded during a storm and much stock was ruined many years ago, but trying a new hairdresser as my last one is moving fills me with a bit of fear!!

I think it is a paradox that many of us do. Handle the important stuff fall apart at the simple stuff.

Quirky

[Moonstruck]

I am reminded of the quote from Florence Scovell Shinn..writer, philosopher and "spiritual thinker"of the 20s,30s ( some of her views are presented today as"new" in various self help books...she seemed to be way ahead of her time).....anyway for months I had been scared of approaching a neighbour with a simple question. he has a tendency to be very abrupt and short tempered..and I keep out of his way as much as possible.

(what I imagine he is thinking could be way off the mark...I tend to catastrophize)....anyway I approached him, the conversation took about 2 seconds and a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders).

back to the quote from Florence "I went to meet the fierce lion in the roadway and discovered it was an airedale"

[Moonstruck]

I am still not "cured" of my fear of everyday stuff. How do I get "cured"? Please advise the solution....e.g. here is my next one.

There is a new efficient, well run car wash near me. I want to use it. I need to use it. I have been too scared for months to drive in and use it...I don't know how, or what to do when I get there...

I walked in recently, without showing my anxiety of course...just to find out their services, prices etc. I vaguely knew the young man on duty. He was lovely, showed me everything and said he'd help when I brought the car in.

Now I am plucking up courage to do so. What time of day will I go? What will I wear..if I am on the way to somewhere else afterwards, will I get my nice shoes wet...will I wear old clothes? is it messy?

I want to go today. I have time to go today. This young man should be on duty today. What if he is busy with other customers and can't advise me? I am scared to go for the first time.

I would like to hear others' examples of being scared of everyday things like I have outlined here.....I am not alone in this am I? Or am I? Why do I have it and where did it come from?

I am scared of the carwash...how pathetic can a grown woman get???

[Moonstruck]

Went to the car wash yesterday. It looks terrific and the young man was very helpful....why have I waited so long?

[quirkywords]

Moon,

I am pleased you now have a clean car.

I am off to a new hairdresser as my hairdresser left town after several years. I feel awkward at the hairdressers and seldom like what they do as hairdressers seldom listen to me.

I am not scared or nervous, just hope it will go quickly and I don't end up looking like a clown!!

quirky